springdale arkansas realtor: Cowboy and Oatmeal - 07/13/11 06:03 AM
 
A TOUGH OLD COWBOY FROM  SOUTH TEXAS   COUNSELED HIS GRANDSON THAT IF HE WANTED TO LIVE A LONG LIFE, THE SECRET WAS TO SPRINKLE A PINCH OF GUN POWDER ON HIS OATMEAL EVERY MORNING. THE GRANDSON DID THIS RELIGIOUSLY TO THE AGE OF 103 WHEN HE DIED. HE LEFT BEHIND 14 CHILDREN, 30 GRANDCHILDREN, 45 GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, 25 GREAT-GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, AND A 15-FOOT HOLE WHERE THE CREMATORIUM USED TO BE. 
 
 
 
Sorta brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?
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springdale arkansas realtor: Old Dog - 07/11/11 02:02 PM
An old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the young panther … (9 comments)

springdale arkansas realtor: History Buff Part 1 - 07/10/11 06:43 AM
Here is a bit of  history buff in all of us. Here are some interesting tidbits that just maybe you didn't know. ******* In George Washington's days, there were no cameras. One's image was either sculpted or painted.  Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms.  Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are 'limbs,' therefore painting them would cost the buyer more.. Hence … (12 comments)

springdale arkansas realtor: 10 Commandments - 07/09/11 05:58 AM
 
As the story goes a teacher was telling the class about the 10 Commandments.  As she went along she asked some of the students to relate how they would use it.  When the teacher got to the one about “Honor thy father and mother” she asked little Susie if she could think of a Commandment that she could relate to her brother and sister.  Without hesitation Susie said sure she could and said “Thy shall not kill”   who knows what one thinks about another person.  I know some will rejoice when I’m gone and some will not what about you?
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springdale arkansas realtor: Hotel Bill - 07/08/11 06:32 AM
 
                                      (This is too funny not to share)                                                    A married couple are traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George.                           Being  Seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to                           continue, … (8 comments)

springdale arkansas realtor: What a doctor can and we can't - 07/07/11 05:43 AM
 
A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue ... 
 
Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes
 
home drunk he beats me to a pulp." Doctor: "I have a real good remedy for that. When your husband comes home
 
drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in
 
your mouth but don't swallow.  Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes
 
to bed in his drunken stupor." Two weeks later the woman comes back to the … (13 comments)

springdale arkansas realtor: First Time Sex - 07/06/11 06:25 AM
 
FIRST TIME SEX  
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents.    Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.      The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy … (16 comments)

springdale arkansas realtor: Spread the Stupidity - 07/05/11 07:32 AM
 
 
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springdale arkansas realtor: Vaseline - 07/04/11 06:17 AM
 
 
 
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springdale arkansas realtor: The directions said that: - 07/03/11 06:08 AM
 
The directions said that:
a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;   a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and    a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' … (11 comments)

springdale arkansas realtor: Boy and a puppy - 07/02/11 06:09 AM
 
A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy. "Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies." "Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money." The boy dropped … (11 comments)

springdale arkansas realtor: Long read for me but worth it - 07/01/11 06:15 AM
 
 
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springdale arkansas realtor: 1972 - 06/30/11 06:22 AM
 
 
Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.  Joe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Thirty years later, Joe was walking through the Tulsa Zoo with his family. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Joe and his family were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Joe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1972, Joe could not … (10 comments)

springdale arkansas realtor: Therapy - 06/29/11 05:50 AM
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him. 'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few … (10 comments)

springdale arkansas realtor: The Bumblebee - 06/28/11 06:03 AM
 
THE BUMBLEBEE: A bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler, will be there until it dies, unless it is taken out. It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom.. It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely destroys itself..
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springdale arkansas realtor: The Bat - 06/27/11 06:35 AM
THE BAT: The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkable nimble creature in the air, cannot take off from a level place. If it is placed on the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and, no doubt, painfully, until it reaches some slight elevation from which it can throw itself into the air. Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.
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springdale arkansas realtor: The Buzzard - 06/26/11 06:13 AM
THE BUZZARD: If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet by 8 feet and is entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will be an absolute prisoner. The reason is That a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground with a Run of 10 to 12 feet. Without space to run, as is its habit, It will not even attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top.
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springdale arkansas realtor: Riddle of the Day - 06/25/11 06:09 AM
 
Riddle of the Day  Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Michael J. Fox has a small one.  Madonna doesn't have one.  The Pope has one but doesn't use it.  Clinton uses his all the time.  Obama is one.  Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.  Liberace never used his on women..  Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.  Cher claims that she took on 3.  We never saw Lucy use Desi's.  What is it?  Answer below!  (This is pretty good)                                                          ***********************************************************                                                         The answer is: 'A Last Name.'     You didn't think I'd send you … (9 comments)

springdale arkansas realtor: An Old Guy - 06/24/11 06:29 AM
 
An Old Guy An old guy (sort of like you and me, not in the best of shape) was working out in the gym when he spotted a sweet young thing... He asked the trainer that was near by "What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?" The trainer looked him up and down and said "I would try the ATM in the lobby".....
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springdale arkansas realtor: When I get a closing I do an “abhiaya”. - 06/23/11 06:22 AM
 
OK after this one only three more to go and I’m done with the National Spelling Bee.  In my former office the PB stated she liked to do this but I won’t tell you what she called it.  Anyway my problem is that I don’t do it often enough.  Now for the meaning of Abhinaya is a concept in Indian dance and drama derived from Bharata's Natya Shastra. Although now, the word has come to mean 'the art of expression', etymologically it derives from Sanskrit abhi- 'towards' + nii- 'leading/guide', so literally it means a 'leading towards' (leading the audience … (5 comments)

 
James Dray, AR., MO., or OK. I can find the home for you. (Wise Custom Realty) Rainmaker large

James Dray

AR., MO., or OK. I can find the home for you.

Bentonville, AR

More about me…

Wise Custom Realty

Address: 1116 South Walton Blvd Ste 157, Bentonville, Ar, 72712

Mobile: (479) 381-0550

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