maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

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Mortgage and Lending - iMortgage

ARCHIVED BLOG POSTS

2011 

This happened on a flight getting ready to depart for Detroit . Jack was sitting on the plane when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck -- pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear. "What's the matter?" Jack asked. "I've been transferred to Detroit ; there are crazy people th...
12/29/2011
Human Race Doomed? In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos: You cou...
12/28/2011
3 Comments
An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter checks his dossier and, not seeing his name there, accidentally sends him to Hell. It doesn't take long before the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell. He soon begins to design and build improvements...
12/27/2011
5 Comments
Alcohol Labels Just Like Cigarettes Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the following Warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lea...
12/23/2011
7 Comments
The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.' The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating' Sally ra...
12/22/2011
3 Comments
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the wicked behavior going on..... He sent one of his angels to earth to look into it. When the angel returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not." God was not pleased so he decided to e-mail the 5% t...
12/21/2011
2 Comments
A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. "Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain. "Yes," replied the murderer. "Will you hold my hand?"
12/20/2011
6 Comments
A guy walks in for his interview. The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?" The guy responds, "Why, You don't have any ears." Interviewer: "Get out! Send in the next guy." 2nd guy walks in for his interview. The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me...
12/19/2011
4 Comments
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were...
12/16/2011
2 Comments
A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk, 'Are you ready to find J...
12/15/2011
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maurice cohn

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