IT'S YOUR BLOG AND YOU CAN DELETE MY COMMENT IF YOU WISH, HOWEVER. . . . .

By
Real Estate Agent with Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate 303829;0225082372

I'M SITTING HERE LAUGHING OUT LOUD !  !  ! 

I made a comment on a post this morning which started with "I disagree". . .   Then my comment engaged the content of the post with a few short observations, just a few short lines.

As is my practice, throughout the day, which I'm on my computer, which is most of the day, I check the "MY HOME" feature of ActiveRain.  I love that feature.  It helps me follow and follow up on comments to my posts and comments I've made to see if there are any questions, etc.  Developing a conversation through ActiveRain posts is wonderful.  SPACE

I WAS VERY POLITE.  What?  My comment is gone.  My polite comment is somewhere out there lurking in the stratosphere looking for a home only to be lost in infinity, which is, a very lonely place. 

ARE WE NOT PERMITTED TO DISAGREE?  Apparently the poster is uncomfortable with disagreement, even when it's not disagreeable. 

NOW FOLKS, KEEP IN MIND THAT I AM A POLITE SOUTHERN LADY!  I don't troll the ActiveRain dashboard looking for posts to criticize.  I seek to engage, develop conversations, nurture relationships with peers, compliment and play forward.  I'm always nice!

If the simple comment "I disagree. . . . " is worthy of being deleted, it appears that the writer "knows what he knows" and no other views are tolerated.  Sad. 

OPPORTUNITY LOST.  The saddest result of deleting polite comments in disagreement means that other readers will never be able to enjoy the back and forth or simple discussion of an experience, a theory or a rule or piece of news, etc. 

THERE IS VALUE IN DEBATE.  If ActiveRain members found all comments in disagreement with a post deleted, there would be far fewer comments.  That would mean far fewer spirited discussions of events and rules; far fewer sharing of experience; far less excitement and life in these posts. 

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DISAGREE WITH ME!  I welcome new ideas, new observations, corrections, guidance, help and just plain conversation. 

DON'T FEEL THREATENED BY DISAGREEMENT.  Even the most learned member can't possibly have the last word in real estate practice.  With the plethora of ideas on ActiveRain, even a comment that disagrees can be fun. 

As long as folks are not nasty (DELETE!), we can agree to disagree and have some fun in the rain.

 

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Rainmaker
223,559
Laurie Mindnich
Centennial, CO

It sounds like someone who had one agenda, welcoming ONLY that agenda in comments. How sad for them- wouldn't want them to be my advisor in a home purchase with such a narrow view when an open mind engenders creativity and a broadens perspective. Except, here's a narrow view: deleting Lenn can only occur with a moron at the delete button. There. I said it.

Jul 15, 2009 07:49 PM #150
Rainmaker
457,050
Wendy Rulnick
Rulnick Realty, Inc. - Destin, FL
Destin FL Real Estate

Lenn - The deletion indicates personal growth challenges to the blog's author...  nothing more...  Your comment still served a purpose.

Jul 15, 2009 08:13 PM #151
Ambassador
294,455
Linda K. Mayer
License # 01767321 - La Verne, CA
Realtor, SRES, SoCAL, A REALTOR YOU CAN TRUST

Lenn, you are so totally smart.  When I grow up I wanna be just like you!

Jul 15, 2009 08:24 PM #152
Ambassador
1,291,935
Loreena Yeo
3:16 team REALTY ~ Locally-owned Frisco TX Real Estate Co. - Frisco, TX
Realtor® | Frisco TX Community Ambassador

As I read your title, I was thinking, What is this polite southern lady gonna disagree with this time???

You know I'm just joking. Care to disagree with me? I know I'm not making too much sense here. But heck, I got my 25 points out of it.

So, if you deleted my comment, would my 25 points be gone too?

Jul 15, 2009 08:41 PM #153
Ambassador
1,576,229
Christine Donovan
Donovan Blatt Realty - Costa Mesa, CA
Broker/Attorney 800-610-7253 DRE01267479 - Costa M

I don't have issues with polite disagreement.  I think it just gives opportunities to learn and communicate.

Jul 15, 2009 08:43 PM #154
Rainmaker
229,671
Dee Mayers
Covina, CA
San Gabriel Valley, CA

I'm not sure if this was commented one in your post but, what I find a bit disconcerting is when you make a comment on someone else's post and they acknowledge all the comments made and not your.  The person who did it to me also commented on your post.  My comment was not deleted, just ignored.

Jul 15, 2009 09:20 PM #155
Ambassador
1,536,052
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Lenn, I've followed and read most of your posts and agree that if we want to learn we must be open to other's views.  I only wish I could actually "hear" your posts and comments because I know I must be missing a great delivery from you.  So, I've "assigned" you what I can only imagine your voice, tone and delivery would be like. Doing that, I'm LOL.  Keep those posts coming!!

Jul 15, 2009 09:32 PM #156
Rainer
205,262
Sylvie Conde
Sutton Group-Associates Realty Inc., Brokerage - Toronto, ON
Broker, Toronto Real Estate

Lenn, I will never forget, when I first joined Active Rain, and I started making comments on posts I found really interesting ... some people were sending me private emails, because I disagreed.  When I refused to delete my own comments, they were deleted for me.  I was then asked never to comment on their posts again, if I was going to disagree.

I was so upset that I thought about leaving many times.  It took me a while to realize that I can't let these people upset me.  Now, instead of commenting, to disagree or even to agree, I simply don't comment on their posts at all.

 

Jul 15, 2009 09:33 PM #157
Rainmaker
147,182
Carol Pease
Pacesetter Properties - Cedar Park, TX
CRS, Broker-Associate 512-721-6320

Lenn:

I thought that if you posted something on the internet it was out there forever!!! ;D  I love the discussions I find here and I would never delete one of your posts.  Nobody has done this to me but if they did I would be hurt and probably want to bash them. 

Jul 15, 2009 09:47 PM #158
Rainmaker
391,037
Elizabeth Cooper-Golden
Huntsville Alabama Real Estate, (@ Homes Realty Group) - Huntsville, AL
Huntsville AL MLS

Lenn, Wow, this is one popular post!  While I do agree that we can disagree, what I disagree with is people being "offended" by a few filthy little words on someones post.  If you are SO offended, MOVE ON.  Why tell the poster that you are offended by their fowl language and begin to lecture them about their choice of words?  (And the one two posts that pop into my mind did not have the nasty "F" word in it.)  They were funny, to me, but that is just my opinion.  I respect the member for their warped sense of humor, as many do here.  THAT is why I read his posts....he pulls no punches.

I remember when a certain group was formed here and it clearly stated:  FOWL language...if you are going to be offended, please do NOT read the posts in this group.  What happened?  A few folks had to venture over and let him know they were offended, LOL. 

Jul 15, 2009 10:13 PM #159
Rainmaker
558,671
Chris Olsen
Olsen Ziegler Realty - Cleveland, OH
Broker Owner Cleveland Ohio Real Estate

I find this platform not very open and tolerant as a whole to dissenting opinions, just my 2c worth.

Jul 15, 2009 10:45 PM #160
Rainmaker
210,519
Debra Leisek
Bay Realty,Inc Homer Alaska - Homer, AK

looks to me like you have a whole lot of folks that agree with you! 

Jul 15, 2009 11:44 PM #161
Rainmaker
368,218
Robin Dampier REALTOR®
Coldwell Banker King - Hendersonville, NC
Hendersonville & Western NC Real Estate Source

I believe free speech is a very important segment of our democracy and something very worth while keeping in place, protecting to be sure it remains and is not taken away from us as citizens.  I would think everyone would want this to be the case.  Alas, I'm beginning to think I'm wrong!!

Often I may make a statement here or elsewhere that I feel is right and in reading others opinions I might decide those other opinions have merit and I need to change/adjust mine!!  How else do we grow and learn without having open minds?

Lenn, you have obviously hit a "thought" here that is being noticed through out the Community!  Many folks have feelings on this issue of the words "I disagree"!  Those 2 little words must be soooo threatening to some people and their thought processes that they can't deal with any other opinion on whatever the subject was.  That's very sad.

It's kinda funny to me as I had just commented yesterday (I think it was) on another post over how much more gentler this community was than RealTalk that USED TO get very controversial at times.  Judging by comments I guess I haven't been reading the "upsetting" posts here.

Frankly I think you share a lot of thought provoking information and are very knowledgeable on the issues you discuss.

Sue of Robin and Sue

Jul 15, 2009 11:46 PM #162
Ambassador
883,869
Lane Bailey
Century 21 Results Realty - Suwanee, GA
Realtor & Car Guy

I hate that...  I delete people for being butt-heads, not disagreement.  Reasonable people CAN fail to agree on things... it is only natural. 

Jul 15, 2009 11:51 PM #163
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous

Lenn,

Just so you know, you will never be deleted on this group.

Jul 16, 2009 12:24 AM #164
Ambassador
2,422,631
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

Terry.  Same here.

Lane.  Nice mature thinking.

Sue.  AH!  MEMORIES.  Good ole RealTalk.  A vicious forum if there ever was one.  One of the reasons I left RealTalk after many years was the vicious personal attacks to which I was subjected almost daily by a few members.  Funny thing though, RealTalk was a moderated forum and yet permitted some very vicious personal attacks by members.  OTOH, ActiveRain is not moderated and yet enjoys a friendly, helpful and professional like atmosphere. 

I had a very funny experience on RealTalk that shows how myopic some real estate agents can be.  I had a buyer referral for luxury homes in a NJ location.  I put the referral information on RealTalk and got a number of responses.  My buyers wanted to check out the web sites of the agents who responded. 

One of the agents that contacted me looking for the $1.5Million buyer referral was the agent who had been a relentless nasty and insulting attacker over several years.  Good grief!  Did he really believe that I would trust one of my buyers to such a nasty person??? 

I made the referral to another member who gave them wonderful friendly service and sold them a $2.8Million new home. 

Mr. Nasty later posted on ActiveRain that when we offer referrals on ActiveRain we should identify the person who received the referral.  I just ignored him. 

Jul 16, 2009 05:41 AM #165
Ambassador
2,422,631
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

Terry.  Same here.

Lane.  Nice mature thinking.

Sue.  AH!  MEMORIES.  Good ole RealTalk.  A vicious forum if there ever was one.  One of the reasons I left RealTalk after many years was the vicious personal attacks to which I was subjected almost daily by a few members.  Funny thing though, RealTalk was a moderated forum and yet permitted some very vicious personal attacks by members.  OTOH, ActiveRain is not moderated and yet enjoys a friendly, helpful and professional like atmosphere. 

I had a very funny experience on RealTalk that shows how myopic some real estate agents can be.  I had a buyer referral for luxury homes in a NJ location.  I put the referral information on RealTalk and got a number of responses.  My buyers wanted to check out the web sites of the agents who responded. 

One of the agents that contacted me looking for the $1.5Million buyer referral was the agent who had been a relentless nasty and insulting attacker over several years.  Good grief!  Did he really believe that I would trust one of my buyers to such a nasty person??? 

I made the referral to another member who gave them wonderful friendly service and sold them a $2.8Million new home. 

Mr. Nasty later posted on ActiveRain that when we offer referrals on ActiveRain we should identify the person who received the referral.  I just ignored him. 

Jul 16, 2009 05:41 AM #166
Rainmaker
589,762
Jim Hale
ACTIONAGENTS.NET - Eugene, OR
On the Move for You! - Eugene - Springfield Oregon Real Estate

Disagree.  Disregard.  But don't be disagreable.

Disagreeing probably won't get you delated on most of our blogs.

Disagreeable might be another story.

Jul 16, 2009 12:55 PM #167
Rainer
285,001
Daniel J. Hunter
REALTOR® - New Port Richey, FL

Lenn you can tell me how wrong I am all day long. Sadly though, you will probably be right most of the time ;-)

Jul 16, 2009 03:18 PM #168
Ambassador
2,422,631
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

Daniel.  I don't tell folks they are wrong.  I could be wrong.  That's what a conversation will find.  If I'm just deleted, we'll never know.

Jim  I'm never disagreeable.

Jul 16, 2009 04:25 PM #169
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Lenn Harley

Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland
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