Funny Friday ~ Dogs and Cats

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Sands Realty 210-414-0966 Texas License #0331413

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity...
~My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength. ~The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. %^$##!
~There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.
~Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
~The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The
bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

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Contact Shirley Parks with Sands Realty at 210-414-0966 or email shirley@shirleyparks.com.

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 We serve all of San Antonio, including the cities of Alamo Heights, Terrell Hills, Shavano Park, Hollywood Park, Hill Country Village, Bulverde, Garden Ridge, Schertz, Cibolo, Converse, Universal City.

We serve ALL neighborhoods, including Stone Oak, Encino Park, Cibolo Canyons, Rogers Ranch, Sonoma Ranch, Steubing Ranch, Canyon Springs, Alamo Ranch, Champions, Stonewall Ranch, The Dominion, and more.

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Rainmaker
1,017,124
Gary L. Waters, Broker Owner Waters Realty of Brevard, LLC
Waters Realty of Brevard, LLC - Melbourne, FL
Personal Service, always.

Funny...probably true from a cat's perspective.  Dogs do like to do anything and be happy doing it. Why can't people be like that?

Aug 21, 2009 07:39 AM #1
Rainer
265,193
South Austin Real Estate Blog
Sky Realty South Austin - Austin, TX

Ohmygosh, I am laughing my head off, I had a cat who was the one this was written about... I swear, he was devious.  Dogs are delightful and so forgiving and loving when given the chance.  Thanks for the laughs Shirley!

Aug 21, 2009 07:42 AM #2
Rainmaker
563,876
Mike Saunders
Lanier Partners - Athens, GA

Shirley - have seen before but I still get a kick out of it, thanks for posting. But, I still like both dogs and cats.

Aug 21, 2009 07:45 AM #3
Ambassador
381,932
Bob Haywood
McGraw Realtors - Owasso, OK
www.BobHaywood.com

Shirley - I love it!  Thanks for the laugh this morning!

Aug 21, 2009 07:47 AM #4
Rainmaker
80,016
April Solomon
Solomon & Associates Realtors, Inc. - Port Richey, FL
Realtor/GRI

One more thing to add to the Dog Diary...I enjoyed chewing up something today..I have a dog and she seems to destroy a toy or a sock or whatever she can wrap her lips around.  This post was a good laugh and a great start to my morning this morning.

Aug 21, 2009 08:50 AM #5
Rainmaker
1,195,419
Myrl Jeffcoat
GreatWest Realty - Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent

Shirley - That is so hilarious but true.  I think it is a little like the "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus thing."  Dogs like men are more simple beings. . .Women on the other hand, are a little more complicated:-)

Aug 21, 2009 10:20 AM #6
Ambassador
1,481,670
Anna Banana Kruchten
Phoenix Property Shoppe - Phoenix, AZ
Arizona's Top Banana of Real Estate!

Hey Shirley I chuckled all the way thru the cat monologue - so funny!  I must share this with my husband as it's 'his' cat and it sounds just like the little critter.  Too darn funny!  Thanks for the Friday smiles!

Aug 21, 2009 11:14 AM #7
Rainmaker
518,427
Mary Douglas
United Country Ponderosa Realty - Red Feather Lakes, CO
REALTOR, Red Feather Lakes, Colorado

LOL Shirley!!  This is precisely why I am not a cat person!  Too funny!  Thanks for the laugh today.

Aug 21, 2009 11:16 AM #8
Rainmaker
526,803
Shirley Parks
Sands Realty 210-414-0966 - San Antonio, TX
Broker, 210-414-0966, San Antonio TX Homes

Gary, That would be great!

Gail, Dogs are generally "sweeter" than cats.

Mike, I like both but I like dogs better....

Bob, You are very welcome!

April, Thanks.  My dog is out of the chewing stage, thank goodness.

Myrl, Good analogy!

Anna, Thanks and you're welcome!

Mary, Glad I made you smile!

 

Aug 21, 2009 06:53 PM #9
Rainer
639,033
Carl Winters
Canyon Lake, TX

Shirley: You know I'm a dog lover, if you don't already know Brutus is my best friend. Meet Brutus:

                                                                   Loves to swim, hunt and hang out.

Aug 21, 2009 07:20 PM #10
Rainmaker
526,803
Shirley Parks
Sands Realty 210-414-0966 - San Antonio, TX
Broker, 210-414-0966, San Antonio TX Homes

Hi Brutus, You look like a wonderful dog and I know you are Carl and Ceil's best friend!

Aug 21, 2009 07:57 PM #11
Rainer
339,009
Yvette Gardner
Keller Williams Realty, Spartanburg, SC - Spartanburg, SC

Having had both cats and dogs this is really funny and very true.  Thank you for sharing.

Aug 21, 2009 10:08 PM #12
Rainmaker
526,803
Shirley Parks
Sands Realty 210-414-0966 - San Antonio, TX
Broker, 210-414-0966, San Antonio TX Homes

Hi Yvette & Dennis,  Thanks for stopping by and commenting.  Gotta love those dogs and cats.. they make our lives more fun.

Aug 21, 2009 10:19 PM #13
Rainmaker
398,621
John Cannata
214-728-0449 http://TexasLoanGuy.com - Frisco, TX
Texas Home Mortgage - Purchase or Refinance

Thanks for the Saturday laughter (I missed it yesterday). That pretty much sounds like a cat to me.

Aug 22, 2009 01:01 PM #14
Rainmaker
198,270
Mary Strang
Viroqua, WI
Real Estate

Cute, I do think this may be an accurate picture of dogs and cats and how they think.

Aug 24, 2009 07:59 AM #15
Rainmaker
238,110
Angelia Garcia
Pure Realtors - Dallas, TX

Marci likes to escape outside for a bit to see what she can kill.  But when her tummy starts talking its time to go inside.  She is 80% indoor cat.

Aug 24, 2009 08:36 PM #16
Rainmaker
277,891
Cheryl Powell
RE/MAX Executive Realty - The Powell Team - Harrisburg, NC
The Powell Team- Helping YOU make the right move!

My dog gets excited when I take her on a ride in the car...100 feet down the driveway to get the mail. Not exactly gas efficient, but it makes her day!

Aug 24, 2009 09:22 PM #17
Ambassador
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Robert (Vegas Bob) Swetz
REALTY ONE GROUP - LAS VEGAS, NEVADA 702.443.7156 - Las Vegas, NV
Commercial & Residential Real Estate Agent

Shirley - This is very funny and thanks for the laugh!

  

Aug 25, 2009 11:00 PM #18
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Rainmaker
526,803

Shirley Parks

Broker, 210-414-0966, San Antonio TX Homes
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