I was thinking about how fancy cell phones have become a status symbol. I can't afford one, so I'm wearing my garage door opener clipped to my belt.
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
I was thinking about old age and decided that it is a lot like when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.
I thought about making a fitness movie for some older folks and call it, "Pumping Rust".
I think I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease....when your chest is falling into your drawers!
Employment application blanks always ask who to notify in case of emergency. I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator in hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?
How come we never hear any "father-in-law" jokes?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to in the first place?
Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and serious wounds as 'just a scratch', but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill and have to be bedridden for weeks? Then they whine to their wife or girlfriend constantly about it.