Let's Negotiate: Negotiating Stumbling Blocks

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Education & Training with Alan Kells 1-814-881-7548

Let's Negotiate:  Negotiating Stumbling Blocks

What are some of the most common stumbling blocks encountered when negotiating contracts on your clients behalf?  When you are negotiating with them for their business?

  • Emotions

 

  • Unskilled negotiators    

 

  • Passive negotiators

 Stumbling block

  • Inflated ego

 

  • Poor listening skills

 

  • Ignoring non-verbal clues

 

  • Focusing on differences

 

  • Undefined / unrealistic goals

 

 Now that we have listed a few stumbling blocks let's brainstorm solutions to overcome them and put the deal together.

  • Solutions for inflated egos:  Use the Win/Win style of negotiating  Don't win the battle only to lose the war.  We live in the community in which we work.

 

  • Solutions for unskilled negotiators:  Re-define the rules of negotiating.  Restate goals and timetable/  Sellers want to sell and buyers want to buy.  Our job is to bring both parties together.

 

  • Solutions for passive negotiators:  It's not about things. It's about people.  It takes time and effort.  Not all people are motivated by money.

 

  • Solutions for emotions: Maintain objectivity.  A professional is always in control.  "No" can be a starting point rather than a roadblock.

 

  • Dealing with poor listeners:  Paraphrase the other party's position.  Ask ..."How do you feel about . . .?"

 

  • Detecting non-verbal clues:  Face to face is most effective.  Watch body language

 

  • Focusing on differences:  Create momentum by emphasizing common points of agreement.  "Great!  We agree on . . . "

 

  • Undefined/Unrealistic goals:  Know the difference between a realistic buyer and realistic seller and know when to say, "You're Fired!"  I can choose to work with Realistic or Unrealistic clients.  I only get paid when the deal goes together.

Please share your favorite negotiating tip with the ActiveRain community . . .What helps you get the deal together?

 

See:  Let's Negotiate . . . "No"... "Don't You Understand NO?"

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Show All Comments
Rainmaker
477,913
Robert L. Brown
www.mrbrownsellsgr.com - Grand Rapids, MI
Grand Rapids Real Estate Bellabay Realty, West Michigan

This is a post i can reflect back on time to time. This may not be the ALL inclusive list but it covers all the baes. Thanks again for all you do.

January 26, 2010 02:51 PM #9
Rainmaker
668,214
Sharon Paxson
HÔM Sotheby's International Realty, BRE License 01501912 - Newport Beach, CA
Newport Beach Real Estate - HOM Sotheby's Int'l Re

Communicate with everyone, and hopefully they won't kill the messenger. Good tips! Thanks for sharing!

January 26, 2010 03:45 PM #10
Ambassador
1,426,808
Anna Banana Kruchten
Phoenix Property Shoppe - Phoenix, AZ
Phoenix Real Estate Agent, CRB, CRS 602-380-4886

Sometimes it's necesary to go back to the begining and review what the 'goal' is.  People get all  caught up in tiny details(or lost in an emotional war within) at times and they forget to see a bigger picture.  It's our job to present the big picture, pros & cons, and let them make the decisions.

January 26, 2010 04:04 PM #11
Rainer
104,294
Frank Kliewer
Woodinville, WA

While recognizing that emotions are going to be a big factor, we as agents need to keep ours in check. Calm and professional is the way to go.

January 26, 2010 04:37 PM #12
Rainmaker
1,474,169
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Authentic Feng Shui Expert

Mary, You gave some good advice and I agree on remaining calm and professional.  Once while doing a Feng Shui consultation for a couple they brought up a very sore subject between them.  Before I knew it they were yelling at each other.  It took me almost an hour to get them to come to a compromise that they could both agree to.  I'm so glad this doesn't happen very often in my line of work!

January 26, 2010 10:39 PM #13
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous

I'm a very poor negotiator because I am a very emotional person. I wear my emotions on my sleeves.

January 28, 2010 01:53 AM #14
Rainmaker
259,068
Tere Rottink
CoastalVa Realty Inc - Virginia Beach, VA

Mary:

Great list.  Because I love to talk, I remind m self while I am in front of clients to shut up and listen, listen, listen, and listen.  This will help me identify the objectives and need of the client.

Tere

January 28, 2010 08:41 AM #15
Rainmaker
281,929
Carra Riley
Author, Speaker, Consultant, Carra Riley Inc. - Williams, AZ
CRB, CRS, GRI

Mary...You presented a really great list.  I particularly like the last one about knowing when to say "you're fire"!  I too prefer to work with willing and able clients.

Cosmic Cow

January 28, 2010 10:25 AM #16
Rainmaker
1,227,665
Al & Peggy Cunningham Brokers, Brampton Ontario Homes For Sale 905-450-5500
RE/MAX Realty Services Inc. - Brampton, ON

This is a great idea for a post, where we can brainstorm together! Thumbs up for the idea Mary.

We think that when dealing with an unskilled, emotional egotist, they sometimes back themselves into a corner with their demands or answers. Later they can't get out, even when they want out.  Our job is to help them find a graceful exit and get the deal together. Whew, sometimes it takes a ton of patience.   

January 28, 2010 11:05 AM #17
Rainmaker
676,252
Mary Yonkers
Alan Kells 1-814-881-7548 - Erie, PA
Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor

Oh my,  how did I get behind with my comments?  Thanks for stopping & commenting here.  I will respond as time allows.

January 28, 2010 08:46 PM #18
Rainmaker
676,252
Mary Yonkers
Alan Kells 1-814-881-7548 - Erie, PA
Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor

Al & Peggy--thanks so much for re-blogging this post and for disabling the comments on your site.  That was very unselfish of you. 

January 28, 2010 08:48 PM #19
Rainmaker
676,252
Mary Yonkers
Alan Kells 1-814-881-7548 - Erie, PA
Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor

Michelle--You can't go wrong with Win/Win approach to negotiating.  Know the motivation of parties is also important.  Thanks.

Irene--Love your sense of humor, but so accurate.  Those with inflated egos are often in denial.

Robert--You are right this list is not all inclusive, but it's a start.  There are books and books written about this topic.

Sharon--No, I don't want to kill the messenger nor do I want to die when I am the messenger.

Anna--very insightful comment.  Here's another topic for our book.

Frank--"Calm and professional"  I will quote you in my next class on negotiating.  Thanks.

January 28, 2010 08:57 PM #20
Rainmaker
676,252
Mary Yonkers
Alan Kells 1-814-881-7548 - Erie, PA
Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor

Carole--That description reminds me of a couple who were divorcing.  I had them in separate conference rooms while negotiating the sales agreement on their house.  Sounds like yours worked out, too.

Russel--You have other good traits that will compensate hopefully.

Tere--Guess we all need to be reminded to listen more than talk.

Carra--And it's often rarely used.  Usually it's the other way around.

 

January 28, 2010 09:04 PM #21
Rainmaker
562,448
Steve, Joel & Steve A. Chain
Chain Real Estate Investments & Mortgage, Steve & Joel Chain - Cottonwood, CA

Mary, These are great and effective points. We've all met some form of these common stumbling blocks.

(I followed you here from Al & Peggy's reblog)

Steve

January 29, 2010 07:03 AM #22
Rainmaker
676,252
Mary Yonkers
Alan Kells 1-814-881-7548 - Erie, PA
Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor

Steve--Thanks for making the detour from Al & Peggy's reblog.  I will follow you back to yours shortly.

January 29, 2010 07:08 AM #23
Rainer
227,657
Diane Rice
Diane Rice, Rice Prprty Mgmnt & Rlty, LLC, South Holland, IL - South Holland, IL
SFR, SRES, CNC

Mary - you are a pro... facing objectives with wisdom is an art that everyone cannot master... but YOU have!

January 29, 2010 06:24 PM #24
Rainmaker
273,377
Irene Tron
Valparaiso, IN

Hi Mary - I came back to read through your list again.  I wonder how many of us are successful at all the things with every client.  I sure don't think I am 100% successful but I'm working on it.

January 29, 2010 10:58 PM #25
Rainmaker
676,252
Mary Yonkers
Alan Kells 1-814-881-7548 - Erie, PA
Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor

No Diane,  I am still learning just like everyone else, but thanks for the compliment.  Love ya.

Irene--I see why you have been so successful.  You are very diligent and review what you have learned and try to apply it to your business.  I am glad that my post was helpful.

January 30, 2010 06:11 AM #26
Rainmaker
887,691
Jane Peters
Power Brokers Int'l - Los Angeles, CA
Connecting you to the L.A. real estate scene

Great overview, Mary.  We must all remember that negotiation is an art and with all art it either comes naturally or not.  For those ungifted negotiatiors like me it takes practice, practice, practice.

January 30, 2010 12:48 PM #27
Rainmaker
676,252
Mary Yonkers
Alan Kells 1-814-881-7548 - Erie, PA
Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor

Hi Jane--With practice we can all improve our skills and our clients deserve the best service we can offer.  Thanks for stopping in this afternoon.

January 30, 2010 03:12 PM #28
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Rainmaker
676,252

Mary Yonkers

Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor
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