Internet? Internet? We don't need no steenkin' internet!

Reblogger Barbara S. Duncan
Real Estate Agent with RE/MAX Advantage

This blogger is an Elvis impersonator (Well, he used to be...) and a true wit with his writings.  I seldom reblog but I think all of us will like the humor and the truth in this blog that he did.  Personally, I remember sending kids out to play and never worrying much about them.  Now we'd be afraid they'd be kidnapped.

Alan Elvis, I'm hoping my friends enjoy this as much as I did.

Original content by Alan May

My father used to cause my eyes to roll into the back of my head, each time he wagged his finger at me and said "you kids have it easy... when I was a kid..." and then he'd tell me how he used to walk five miles to school every day... barefoot... on a gravel road... in the snow, against, the wind... UP-hill (both directions!!!)...

and when we'd whine... "oh, that's no big deal... that doesn't sound so bad.." he'd add "... and I had to walk home for LUNCH!".

[serious eyeroll) @@

blah, blah, blah.... we surely didn't take it seriously, and I promised that when I grew up (have I grown up yet?), that I would never do the same thing...  I did catch myself wagging my finger at my kids, and thinking: "when did I grow my father's index finger?"... but I'll never lay all that line of crap on my kids... and never begin a sentence with "when I was a kid"...

well... I'm now officially breaking that promise.  Today's kids (not my kids, they're significantly older already)... but today's kids have it so easy...they have no idea how easy they have it.

INTERNET
We didn't have no internet!!  We din't need no steenkin' internet!  If we wanted to know something, we had to ask our parents.  They, of course, would say "look it up"... which was just their way of saying they didn't know.  If you were fortunate enough to have had very gullible parents who'd bought a set of Encyclopedia Brittanicas from a door-to-door salesman... (that's right... salesmen came door-to-door, selling incredibly expensive sets of encyclopedias that were outdated before you even received them)... you could go to the set, lined up in a back bedroom, and thumb through the pages, to see if the subject you wanted was there.  Yes, the same encyclopedias that Jimminy Cricket used to sing about...

I remember my kids asking (sometime in the late 80's, or early 90's) about the distance to the moon, and I sent them to our set of Brittanicas to look it up.  Our set of 1967 encyclopedias said "we expect land a man on the moon in the near future".  - heavy sigh -

If the Brittanicas didn't solve your problem, you then had to head to the library (often pronounced Li-BARRY)... you'd ask the librarian where the subject was located, and she'd send you to do battle with the [dun, dun, dunnnnnn] Dewey Decimal Catalogue Card system.  This was a system specifically designed for libraries and Post-Graduate degree students, to slow your brain down to a crawl.

E-MAIL
Email?  We barely had REGULAR mail... not some E-version.  We had to sit down, take out a nice piece of foolscap (with our initials on it), write out a thank-you note to Aunt Esther (in good penmanship!!), using a PEN... fold it neatly, put it in the envelope (are you still with me?)... and walk it across the street and put it in a mailbox (there used to be bunches of these located on nearly every street corner in major towns.  Today, I think they still have one in the Smithsonian Institute being guarded by men with Uzi's.

And for the privilege of sending that letter, we got to attach 13¢ to the outside of the envelope and hope it got there. [Did you send Esther a thank-you note for your Bar-Mitzvah present???  Did you???  She hasn't gotten it yet....!!]

TEXTING
Texting?  Wow, they'll make a verb out of any word these days.  When we wanted a verb, we had to... well, never mind.  If we wanted to send a text to somebody... we couldn't.  We didn't know what texting was, back in the day.  If we were sitting across the car from our sister, and we wanted to tell her something... well, I know it's radical, but we actually had to talk!! [stop looking at me!!   You stop looking at ME!!... mom... he's looking out my windowwww!!!!]  To which my mother would reply... "Stop whining back there, or I'll give you something to whine about!"

My father would just continue to drive, but you could see the back of his neck turning red.  We'd always stop then... we were afraid if his neck got really red... he'd blow!

Allright, I've bored you enough... you kids can run out and play...

ALAN MAY, Realtor®
Specializing in Evanston Real Estate and North Shore Real Estate
-------------------------------
Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate, 2929 Central Street, Evanston, IL 60201
847.425.3779      Cell: 847.924.3313      Email: Almay@aol.com

Evanston Real Estate, Evanston Realtor, Evanston Buyers, Evanston Sellers
North Shore Real Estate, North Shore Realtor, North Shore Buyers, North Shore Sellers

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Rainmaker
380,026
Ruth Vogt
303-395-3884. Apply 24/7 www.MyLenderOfChoice.com
Cornerstone Home Lending, Inc. Equal Housing Opportunity. Regulated by the Division of Real Estate.

Great one to reblog, Barbara! And a good lesson for us to remember how much the "old ways" mean to us. I broke my hip a couple of weeks ago, and guess what? I found out Halmark still makes cards, and the postman does still deliver more than advertising pieces and bills!

March 13, 2010 10:18 AM
Rainer
166,350
Don Thompson
Donthomp Associates

 I can't get on this bandwagon. I'm an Internut. I would much rather have the now and future than the past. I must admit that I have to find ways to get away from the Internet. Many times I use the Internet to do just that.

March 13, 2010 02:30 PM
Rainmaker
1,070,034
Myrl Jeffcoat
Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent
GreatWest Realty

Barbara - I was remembering the other day, that when I had a client in the early 1980s, I asked her what she did for a living.  She told me she had been working at a university helping to develop the internet. . .I had NO idea what she was talking about!  Of course right after that, the rest became history!

March 13, 2010 04:42 PM
Rainmaker
698,852
Barbara S. Duncan
CRS, GRI, e-PRO, Searcy AR
RE/MAX Advantage

Ruth, a broken hip is awful.  Bet you the postman brought you tons of get-well cards.  I loved the blog.

Don, you are truly an internet nut!  You can't resist it and know so much about it.  I'm going to tackle the directions you emailed me when I have time.  Hopefully tomorrow.

Myrl, I would have been the same way.  My kids used to say to me that I needed a computer.  What's a computer, I asked.  LOL

 

March 13, 2010 05:22 PM
Rainmaker
1,172,646
Steven L. Smith
Bellingham WA Home Inspector
King of the House Home Inspection, Inc

Godmother,

Alan writes very well. I am too young to remember much of that but it is NOT way over my head. He is one of the two best Elvis impersonators anywhere.

Godson

'

March 13, 2010 06:50 PM
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Rainmaker
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Barbara S. Duncan

CRS, GRI, e-PRO, Searcy AR
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