Friday Funny - Don't Mess With Old People

By
Real Estate Agent with 1st Action Real Estate

 

 Tax Audit


 The tax department decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to appear at their office.  The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.


 The auditor said,
'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
 full-time employment, Which you explain by claiming to win money gambling.  Our department finds that hard to believable.'

 I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says  Grandpa... 'How about a demonstration?'  The auditor thinks for a moment and says, 'Okay. Go ahead.'  Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.' The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
 Grandpa removes his  glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw  drops.
 
Grandpa says,
'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'
 
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
  Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.  The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost
three grand, with
 Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.


 'Want to go double or nothing?' 
Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'


 The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
 decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.  Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.  The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.


 But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

 'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd  been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

 

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Groups:
AR Comedy Club
Jokes and Anything Fun Group
POINTLESS REMARKS - We're the group your Mother warned you about!
Silent Majority
The Optimist

Comments 10 New Comment

Show All Comments
Rainmaker
287,642
Dan Tabit
Northstone Real Estate Inc.

Very good.  You never know what the real goal is until it's too late.  Thanks for the laugh!

March 19, 2010 08:26 PM
Rainmaker
855,957
Steve Loynd
800-926-5653, White Mountains NH
Alpine Lakes Real Estate Inc.,

Gene, I'm sure there are any number of people who have wished to piss all over an IRS agents desk, and do it with no consequences.

March 19, 2010 08:55 PM
Rainer
166,315
Andy Chaudoir
Your Home Inspection Connection in Central Texas
Professional Inspection Services - Georgetown, Texas

Hello Gene - That's a good one.  Thanks for the laugh.

March 19, 2010 09:18 PM
Rainer
30,618
Mike Wilbur
Guild Mortgage Company and Oregon Homes For Heroes

Old age and treachery rules everytime don't you think?  That is what my Dad has always told me.

March 19, 2010 10:24 PM
Rainmaker
563,876
Mike Saunders
Lanier Partners

Ok Gene - this gave me a good laugh, but all of a sudden I got this impreession of people being happy with this administration pissing all over them, and they aren't as smart as Grandpa

March 19, 2010 11:20 PM
Rainmaker
244,274
Bonnie Vaughan
CNE SFR - Buyers/Sellers - Lackawanna & Surroundin
Re/Max Home Team

Gene, that was really funny.  I have to agree with Steve, I think people would line up to do that.

March 19, 2010 11:36 PM
Rainmaker
1,733,311
William Feela
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.
WHISPERING PINES REALTY

I am finishing with my taxes...I will have to show this to my tax man.

March 20, 2010 05:04 PM
Rainmaker
330,202
Shanna Hall
I love selling houses!!!St. Louis, MO 314-703-1311
Real Estate Solutions

Thanks for the laugh- great way to end a wonderful weekend- Activerain jokes;)

March 21, 2010 09:46 PM
Rainer
257,745
Steve Merson
CNE, e-PRO
Keller Williams Realty

Hi Gene,

That's just hilarious! LOL. Think I saw that one coming but still gave me a good laugh!

Steve

 

March 22, 2010 10:45 AM
Rainmaker
233,562
Bill Dean
William Dean - Broker, Salesperson
Worth Clark Realty St. Louis, Mo.

good one Gene.

Now that I am a grandpa. I appreciate this one all the more.  I would like to pee on their desk and would do it for free!!

March 23, 2010 12:43 AM
Show All Comments
Rainmaker
225,023

Gene Wunderlich

Realtor & Legislative Liaison
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