Friday Funny - Don't Mess With Old People

By
Real Estate Agent with 1st Action Real Estate

 

 Tax Audit


 The tax department decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to appear at their office.  The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.


 The auditor said,
'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
 full-time employment, Which you explain by claiming to win money gambling.  Our department finds that hard to believable.'

 I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says  Grandpa... 'How about a demonstration?'  The auditor thinks for a moment and says, 'Okay. Go ahead.'  Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.' The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
 Grandpa removes his  glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw  drops.
 
Grandpa says,
'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'
 
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
  Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.  The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost
three grand, with
 Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.


 'Want to go double or nothing?' 
Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'


 The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
 decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.  Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.  The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.


 But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

 'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd  been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

 

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Show All Comments
Rainmaker
291,610
Dan Tabit
Northstone Real Estate Inc. - Sammamish, WA

Very good.  You never know what the real goal is until it's too late.  Thanks for the laugh!

Mar 19, 2010 08:26 PM #1
Rainmaker
862,438
Steve Loynd
Alpine Lakes Real Estate Inc., - Lincoln, NH
800-926-5653, White Mountains NH

Gene, I'm sure there are any number of people who have wished to piss all over an IRS agents desk, and do it with no consequences.

Mar 19, 2010 08:55 PM #2
Rainer
166,315
Andy Chaudoir
Professional Inspection Services - Georgetown, Texas - Georgetown, TX
Your Home Inspection Connection in Central Texas

Hello Gene - That's a good one.  Thanks for the laugh.

Mar 19, 2010 09:18 PM #3
Rainer
30,618
Mike Wilbur
Guild Mortgage Company and Oregon Homes For Heroes - Salem, OR

Old age and treachery rules everytime don't you think?  That is what my Dad has always told me.

Mar 19, 2010 10:24 PM #4
Rainmaker
563,876
Mike Saunders
Lanier Partners - Athens, GA

Ok Gene - this gave me a good laugh, but all of a sudden I got this impreession of people being happy with this administration pissing all over them, and they aren't as smart as Grandpa

Mar 19, 2010 11:20 PM #5
Rainmaker
244,274
Bonnie Vaughan
Re/Max Home Team - Scranton, PA
CNE SFR - Buyers/Sellers - Lackawanna & Surroundin

Gene, that was really funny.  I have to agree with Steve, I think people would line up to do that.

Mar 19, 2010 11:36 PM #6
Rainmaker
1,776,708
William Feela
WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

I am finishing with my taxes...I will have to show this to my tax man.

Mar 20, 2010 05:04 PM #7
Rainmaker
338,198
Shanna Hall
Real Estate Solutions - Kirkwood, MO
I love selling houses!!!St. Louis, MO 314-703-1311

Thanks for the laugh- great way to end a wonderful weekend- Activerain jokes;)

Mar 21, 2010 09:46 PM #8
Rainer
257,845
Steve Merson
Keller Williams Realty - Austin, TX
CNE, e-PRO

Hi Gene,

That's just hilarious! LOL. Think I saw that one coming but still gave me a good laugh!

Steve

 

Mar 22, 2010 10:45 AM #9
Rainmaker
239,484
Bill Dean
Worth Clark Realty St. Louis, Mo. - Fenton, MO
William Dean - Broker, Salesperson

good one Gene.

Now that I am a grandpa. I appreciate this one all the more.  I would like to pee on their desk and would do it for free!!

Mar 23, 2010 12:43 AM #10
Show All Comments
Rainmaker
225,023

Gene Wunderlich

Realtor & Legislative Liaison
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