Tangled 'Lines'

By
Real Estate Agent with Coldwell Banker Advantage

   Have you ever wished that your words were like a fishing line? 

     Ever cast your line only to find that it ended up far from its intended target? Perhaps dangling from that low hanging branch you were so sure you could avoid? I would imagine that anyone who has ever gone fishing has had this happen at least once.

      This can happen with our words as well.  

     Have you ever had something come out of your mouth that you wished you could reel back in quickly, before anyone noticed? It seems that sometimes our mouths work much, much faster than our brains. We hear our own words spill out of our mouths and then wish immediately we could take them back. . Perhaps it wasn’t even the words that were the problem, maybe you just used a tone of voice that was much harsher than you intended. I bet anyone with children can relate to that.  Maybe we’ve had a bad day or are just in a rotten mood for whatever reason.  

     Unfortunately, once the words are out, they’re out. Dangling from that tree for all the world to see. You can’t reel it back in. Your bad day doesn’t really matter any more. So how do we avoid situations like this?  What do we do if we slip up and say something in the  heat of the moment that could have been worded differently or was better left unsaid at all?

     I would love to hear from some of you on how you avoid these situations, or how you have handled it if you’ve found yourself in this situation in the past.

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Yes I know the feeling- trust me. It's too bad that we jump the gun and spill out what we want to say or even say something not exactly what we expected- then we regret it later.

I feel you!

Aug 18, 2007 02:29 PM #1
Rainer
6,927
Melissa Nottingham
Coldwell Banker Advantage - Winfield, WV
WV Real Estate Agent
Hi Maureen and thanks for stopping by.  Guess we've all been there and done that at one time or another. 
Aug 18, 2007 05:05 PM #2
Rainmaker
399,769
Hugh Krone
Weichert Referral Associates - Hamburg, NJ
Realtor, Sussex County NJ
 I think the best way to slow down your mouth is to actively work on becoming a better listener. If you are concentrating on actually hearing and listening to what is being said it will give you a moment or so to stop some ridiculous thing from exiting your mouth. The secret is to slow down the conversation.
Aug 20, 2007 01:50 PM #3
Rainer
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Melissa Nottingham
Coldwell Banker Advantage - Winfield, WV
WV Real Estate Agent
Hi Hugh and thanks for stopping by. I agree, being a good listener is essential.
Aug 27, 2007 10:00 PM #4
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Yes Hugh- I agree- sometimes we don't listen as much as we should and that really is a big rule that we can not ignore in real estate- got to know what the clients wants and needs are so we can make their goals happen!
Aug 28, 2007 04:20 PM #5
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Don Imus is the perfect example, and he talks fast.  Most fast talkers are talking while they're thinking, when they should be thinking first and then talking.   Slow down, and you'll probably catch yourself before you say something hurtful.
Sep 12, 2007 03:35 PM #6
Rainer
6,927
Melissa Nottingham
Coldwell Banker Advantage - Winfield, WV
WV Real Estate Agent
I agree Patsy. Sometimes if we can make ourselves take the time to think through what we want to say, we can avoid saying what we shouldn't. 
Sep 13, 2007 08:34 AM #7
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There are times I just want to let my mouth run ahead of my thinking and it is hard sometimes to bite your tongue, but you got to do it!!!
Sep 13, 2007 08:55 PM #8
Rainmaker
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Gary White~Grand Rapids Home Selling Pro Call: 616-821-9375
Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions" - Grand Rapids, MI
Real Estate Services You can Trust!

Melissa, great analogy and great post.  Very true, too.

 

Oct 05, 2007 08:11 PM #9
Rainer
21,775
Prudential Preferred Realty Butler PA
Prudential Preferred Realty - Butler, PA

I find myself doing that with my children more than clients.  And trust me, I feel a million times worse when I speak in anger/frustration to the boys.

I try to really be "in the moment" when speaking to them.  But it's not always easy...

Oct 19, 2007 08:36 PM #10
Rainer
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Jennifer Hartwick
Coldwell Banker Tatie Payne, Inc. - Columbia, MO
Open mouth and insert foot.  Happens to me more often than I would care to admit.  Also sometimes when I'm nervous I start to blab and I just can't stop.  I need to slow down, listen more and think before I talk.  Easier said than done sometimes!
Oct 20, 2007 09:03 PM #11
Rainer
228,711
Sarah Cooper
Real Estate Shows - Hurricane, WV

Where'd you go, girl?  

Wanna go to C Gallery for lunch? :) Call me!!!

Feb 22, 2008 04:21 PM #12
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408,956
Terry Miller
Miller Homes Group - Tyler, TX
Miller Homes Group and Tyler Apartment Locator

Thanks for the great advice. I will check back often. I really like the blog. I am new at blogging but I am beginning to learn quite a bit from reading blogs like the ones I find on Active Rain. If I can ever be of help just visit my blog or my website: http://yournowwhat.com   

                                                                 Thanks, Terry

Nov 21, 2008 12:13 AM #13
Rainmaker
351,538
Damon Gettier
Damon Gettier & Associates, REALTORS- Roanoke Va Short Sale Expert - Roanoke, VA
Broker/Owner ABRM, GRI, CDPE

Thanks for the blog Melissa,

Not trying to put a religious tone to the blog, but it makes me think of a Bible verse my mom used to through at me.  "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks"

I think that if we worked on filling our hearts/minds with positive or optimistic information, then we could cut down on the hurtful things we say sometimes.  Not that it solves everything, cause we all are only human.

Dec 18, 2009 09:47 AM #14
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Melissa Nottingham

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