Message from my Listing coordinator to Sellers.
I am not a Realtor. Nor do I play one on TV. I'm a listing coordinator, and I'm here to give you some tough love.
Your agents have given you tips on how to help them sell your home. They've used nice words like "curb appeal" and "staging." You may or may not have complied with their suggestions about cleaning up and decluttering. You should. They know what they're talking about. You've sold several houses in your lifetime? Good for you. They've sold hundreds, maybe thousands. Listen to them.
Meanwhile, I'm here to get a little more specific about things that will help my boss sell your home. You don't make any money, and neither does she, until your house sells. Since she pays my salary, I would very much like your house to sell.
I have observed a few things in some of the houses we've listed that lead me to believe that not all of you grasp the more subtle points of staging and curb appeal. Therefore, I'll be blunt (remember, this is tough love).
- Don't leave articles of personal hygiene hanging in the middle of the shower rod-or, in fact, anywhere in sight-when we come to photograph your house or when there's a showing. I don't mean your blow dryer or your electric razor. I'm talking about items that are more personal. I'm not touching them, so you can't count on me to move this stuff when I go to photograph the bathroom. If I can't shoot around it, I'm not making pictures of the bathroom. More importantly, you don't want the buyer to remember your house this way: "Oh, yeah, the one with the . . . oh, yeah. That. On the shower rod."
- Pack away the dead animal parts. You might be surprised by the number of prospective buyers who don't find dead animal parts appealing, particularly when the parts are combined to create some unholy creature such as the moose-deer (moose antlers on a taxidermied deer head) or the jackalope (antelope antlers on a taxidermied jack rabbit). You don't want the buyer to remember your house this way: "Oh, yeah, the one with the . . . what was that thing, anyway?"
- Don't use a .308 Winchester bullet in place of a hasp or a pin to secure a lock. Or really . . . any bullet. You don't want the buyer to remember your house this way: "Oh, yeah, the one with the big scary bullet instead of a padlock."
OK, are we clear? Keep your personal hygiene practices private. No dead animal parts. No bullets in place of an ordinary hasp. I know, it's not quite as colorful this way, and it may not say "you," but buyers must be able to visualize themselves in your home. Please. Help us help you.
Listing Coordinator (Susan)