Divorce Agreement, Right vs Left, written by John J. Wall

By
Real Estate Agent with High Country Realty - Prescott - AZ DRE #SA554748000
http://actvra.in/45bq

A friend passed this along to me. I think it is a fresh way to see the conlict and a lot to contemplate. I think the land mass should be divided between the "red states" and the "blue states."  Any other ideas?

 

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce....

I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them). We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill. We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you Answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall,  Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you..

P. S. S. And we won't have to press 1 for English.

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  1. Kevin Robinson 07/06/2010 12:13 PM
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Ambassador
884,011
Lane Bailey
Century 21 Results Realty - Suwanee, GA
Realtor & Car Guy

They can have New York, Chicago and LA, too...  We'll keep Utah and the Rockies... it's just 'flyover country' anyway. 

Jul 04, 2010 11:45 PM #1
Rainmaker
1,268,398
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

I saw something similar to that a couple of years near the end of Bush's last term.  It says it all.

Jul 05, 2010 06:24 AM #2
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Jason Sardi
Auto & Home & Life Insurance throughout North Carolina - Charlotte, NC
Your Agent for Life

Good fodder.  I shall retort.

Jul 05, 2010 10:19 PM #3
Rainmaker
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John Mosier
High Country Realty - Prescott - AZ - Prescott, AZ
Prescott's Patriot REALTOR & Land Man 928 533-8142

Jason -- Check out the post I just made:  Which Philosophy of Rights?  I would like your comments on that one.

 

 

Jul 05, 2010 11:30 PM #4
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Jason Sardi
Auto & Home & Life Insurance throughout North Carolina - Charlotte, NC
Your Agent for Life

Will do.  Check out mine, as well.  Cheap plug, I know:)

Jul 05, 2010 11:36 PM #5
Rainmaker
648,839
William James Walton Sr.
WEICHERT, REALTORS® - Briotti Group - Waterbury, CT
Greater Waterbury Real Estate

Ah, so now I understand....hmmmm....Really? And I would dare anyone to take a wild guess as to which side of the divorce I would be on...really....hmph...

Jul 06, 2010 12:01 AM #6
Rainmaker
598,992
Donne Knudsen
Los Angeles & Ventura Counties in CA - Simi Valley, CA
CalState Realty Services

I'm with Jason and second the fodder comment.  Can't wait to read your retort Sardi.

Jul 06, 2010 12:07 AM #7
Rainer
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National Security Delaware Security Systems Free
Home and Business Alarms, Camera Systems 24 Hour Monitoring - Wilmington, DE

John I like yours a little better then Sardis, no shock there huh?  Sorry Sardi!

Jul 06, 2010 12:19 AM #8
Rainmaker
1,089,093
Wallace S. Gibson, CPM
Gibson Management Group, Ltd. - Charlottesville, VA
LandlordWhisperer

My mantra is.....No RED $TATE tax money for BLUE $TATE spending $UPIDITY!!! 

Jul 06, 2010 07:19 AM #9
Ambassador
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Alan May
Coldwell Banker Residential - Evanston, IL
Evanston & Northshore of Chicago real estate

I think I'll keep Chicago.

Jul 06, 2010 09:06 AM #10
Rainmaker
87,042
Israel Barden
RE/MAX Big Bear Village - Big Bear Lake, CA

Yes. You can build a huge concrete wall, with barbed wire and gun turrets, to divide the haves from the have nots. The kids will all be forced to pray in the morning and every phone call or email can be monitored to make sure nobody is not in line with the official policy. For evening entertainment you can offer either Rush Limbaugh or Pat Robertson for the edification of the mind. It sounds wonderful.

Jul 06, 2010 01:11 PM #11
Rainmaker
204,075
Jennifer Monroe
Savvy + Company Real Estate - Charlotte, NC
Real Estate REALTOR®/Broker in Beautiful Charlotte

This reminds me of one of the most ignorant people I have ever known. She was my neighbor and she spouted this stuff day and night. She was also a black woman married to a white man,  receiving public money to get her GED and pay for her kids school lunches, section 8 and her annual oil fill. When I reminded her that because of us 'ideologues' she was free to do something with her life other than my cooking and cleaning, not to mention the fact that she was not in jail for co-mingling with a white man - she threw her glass of iced tea down and stomped off. 

I prefer Sardi's more enlightened (and far more truthful) version myself :)

Jul 06, 2010 09:36 PM #12
Ambassador
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Jason Sardi
Auto & Home & Life Insurance throughout North Carolina - Charlotte, NC
Your Agent for Life

Georgia's comment just turned me into a Conservative.  I've seen the proverbial light.  Wow!  So very well put.  And to think that I hadn't one week of unemployment in all of these years.  Silly me.  Georgia for President~! 

Jul 06, 2010 10:31 PM #13
Rainmaker
204,075
Jennifer Monroe
Savvy + Company Real Estate - Charlotte, NC
Real Estate REALTOR®/Broker in Beautiful Charlotte

Whoever georgia is, she's dreadfully ignorant. Might be a good idea for her to step out of the barn awhile to get a bit of fresh air. Red states have some of the highest unemployment in the country. When did the economy collapse? Under a conservative! 

For the record, I've never collected unemployment either. 

Jul 07, 2010 06:56 AM #14
Rainmaker
87,042
Israel Barden
RE/MAX Big Bear Village - Big Bear Lake, CA

I seem to remember reading somewhere that California produces the most tax dollars in the nation. For shits and giggles, someone should post the chart that shows the IQ levels of the Red and Blue states. Guess which states are on the bottom? More and more, it is becoming apparent that the people most detrimental to progress in this nation are those who cling to closely to any one ideology. No political platform or party gets it 100% right. Or even 50% right.

Jul 09, 2010 04:43 PM #15
Anonymous
Anonymous
 

great article just like this one a must read more here http://is.gd/Yo5fib

Oct 18, 2011 08:59 AM #16
Anonymous
Lyna

Unfortunatly, the author of th earticle above suffers from a severe psychiatrical disorder, called schizophrenia. It is typical for people with this disorder to make statements like this, creating entire "parallel realities" in vivid colors, in this case red & blue. Also they unconsciusly identifiy themselves with theire heroes or dreams. I guess, author of this article once wanted to become a lawer, and now he is projecting this image, or he could be a patological liar. For sure he is as much of a law student as Rosie O'Donnel is a ballerina. With all due respect, I suggest the author gets his head checked, although I suspect he doesn't believe in psychiatry.

Oct 20, 2012 02:19 PM #17
Anonymous
A Teen

Please, left wing asses (you can't argue with that... your mascot IS a donkey, is it not?), for your own good, don't pick a fight with us. Not only are we wiser, we also have the NRA... you'll probably lose :) Badly.

Jul 12, 2013 01:55 PM #18
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John Mosier

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