Divorce Agreement, Right vs Left, written by John J. Wall

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Real Estate Agent with High Country Realty - Prescott - AZ DRE #SA554748000
http://actvra.in/45bq

A friend passed this along to me. I think it is a fresh way to see the conlict and a lot to contemplate. I think the land mass should be divided between the "red states" and the "blue states."  Any other ideas?

 

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce....

I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them). We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill. We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you Answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall,  Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you..

P. S. S. And we won't have to press 1 for English.

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  1. Kevin Robinson 07/06/2010 12:13 PM
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Rainmaker
197,791
Jennifer Monroe
Real Estate REALTOR®/Broker in Beautiful Charlotte
Savvy + Company Real Estate

Whoever georgia is, she's dreadfully ignorant. Might be a good idea for her to step out of the barn awhile to get a bit of fresh air. Red states have some of the highest unemployment in the country. When did the economy collapse? Under a conservative! 

For the record, I've never collected unemployment either. 

July 07, 2010 06:56 AM
Rainmaker
86,892
Israel Barden
RE/MAX Big Bear Village

I seem to remember reading somewhere that California produces the most tax dollars in the nation. For shits and giggles, someone should post the chart that shows the IQ levels of the Red and Blue states. Guess which states are on the bottom? More and more, it is becoming apparent that the people most detrimental to progress in this nation are those who cling to closely to any one ideology. No political platform or party gets it 100% right. Or even 50% right.

July 09, 2010 04:43 PM
Anonymous #16
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Anonymous
 

great article just like this one a must read more here http://is.gd/Yo5fib

October 18, 2011 08:59 AM
Anonymous #17
Anonymous
Lyna

Unfortunatly, the author of th earticle above suffers from a severe psychiatrical disorder, called schizophrenia. It is typical for people with this disorder to make statements like this, creating entire "parallel realities" in vivid colors, in this case red & blue. Also they unconsciusly identifiy themselves with theire heroes or dreams. I guess, author of this article once wanted to become a lawer, and now he is projecting this image, or he could be a patological liar. For sure he is as much of a law student as Rosie O'Donnel is a ballerina. With all due respect, I suggest the author gets his head checked, although I suspect he doesn't believe in psychiatry.

October 20, 2012 02:19 PM
Anonymous #18
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A Teen

Please, left wing asses (you can't argue with that... your mascot IS a donkey, is it not?), for your own good, don't pick a fight with us. Not only are we wiser, we also have the NRA... you'll probably lose :) Badly.

July 12, 2013 01:55 PM
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Rainmaker
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John Mosier

Prescott's Patriot REALTOR & Land Man 928 533-8142
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