Noah's Ark in 2010

By
Real Estate Services with Halo Portfolio Advisors and Halo Asset Management

In the year 2010, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, “Once again, the earth has become wicked and overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.”

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, “You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.”

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard — but no Ark.

“Noah!” He roared, “I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?”

“Forgive me, Lord,” begged Noah, “but things have changed.

I needed a building permit. I’ve been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.
My neighbors claim that I’ve violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There’s a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl.
I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls – but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was
cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study on Your proposed flood.

I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I’m supposed to hire for my building crew.

Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.

The trades unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.”

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, “You mean you’re not going to destroy the world?”

“No,” said the Lord. “The government beat me to it.”

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Rainmaker
1,287,215
Vickie Nagy
Broker for San Ramon, Danville, Dublin, Pleasanton
Vickie Nagy, Broker Associate Realty ONE Group BMC Associates | BRE#01363932

This is really cute. Since you posted, I'll assume it's okay to share with my friends. Thanks for the laugh.

July 07, 2010 12:39 PM
Rainmaker
534,963
Betty & John Knowles
REALTORS® - Springfield MO Real Estate
Coldwell Banker Vanguard - www.teamknowles.com

Michael, this is really funny if it wasn't so true!

July 07, 2010 01:11 PM
Rainmaker
309,886
Vern Eaton
Realtor 320-630-6995

I agree with the others who commented.  Very funny if not so true.

July 07, 2010 01:31 PM
Rainmaker
842,834
Steve Loynd
800-926-5653, White Mountains NH
Alpine Lakes Real Estate Inc.,

Michael, did you get the required permit to publish this blog, I think there is a Government office for that too.

July 07, 2010 04:13 PM
Rainmaker
1,660,278
William Feela
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.
WHISPERING PINES REALTY

WOW...that hits close to home.  I have bee getting the run around for a month now on a parcel my client wants to build on.

July 07, 2010 08:25 PM
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Rainer
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Michael Barry

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