The Problem with Praise

Reblogger Kevin Robinson
Services for Real Estate Pros

Original content by Larry Bettag

So I read this article from the Chicago Tribune the other day.  It's a article written by John Kielman, a staff writer there I think.  Needless to say, I google the article and it's been re-published again and again and again. 

Check out.... http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2010-07-04/news/ct-met-teen-self-esteem-20100704_1_self-esteem-jean-twenge-praised 

It starts with an example of some honor student who never worked for much while making the honor roll.  She was half-assed in effort and when she got her first C, she was stunned, actually, he uses the word, INSULTED. 

He continues that this generation of teens is part of a generation that gets self esteem boosts as often as we get oxygen.   The intent it to boost there self-esteem and also their prospecst in life.

The net affects are what he calls toxic.  He thinks that it creates an environment of privilege, not an environment that creates a work ethic, rewards talent and honors true and real willingness to get into the trenches to succeed.

I was at a local school basketball game this past year and there was a sign that read "no one wins unless everyone wins."  Excuse me?  People will win and people will lose.  The best people, like Abe Lincoln lost so many times that he had a nervous breakdown and stayed in bed for 1 year.  Was he a winner?

ABSOFRIGGINLUTELY!!!!! 

Did he have losses?

ABSOFRIGGINLUTELY!!!!

The article continues that many are starting to believe that the positive stroking of the youth of America is bad thing.  He sites one study that says that there are more than twice as many kids getting As than there were in 1976 but most are studying way less than they were back then.  More for less. 

It's a good article.  I think that I praise my kids a lot.  However, I'm on them like a fly on crap.  They have jobs to do all summer.  They need to read 1 book per week and give me a book report per week (in the summer mind you), but they get lots of football time with dad, campouts with dad, campouts with each other, vacations and other summer things. 

But spoon feeding your kids ain't what it's supposed to be.  In proverbs it says that if you don't discipline your kid, you hate him.  Those are strong words.  I know I'm tough on my kids, but they'll need to be tougher in this next generation more than ever.  When then graduate, no one is going to spoon feed them for life. 

I think that John Kielman is onto something here.

Does this translate to Real Estate?

Make your own conclusion.  Success can be create a lot of momentum, but praise alone does not. I think that the world is so wierd now.  I guess we just need to keep true to the things that helped us deliver our success today.

 

 

Larry Bettag - Regional Vice President, Midwest Region

Illinois FHA Specialist

630-417-7172

 Cherry Creek Mortgage Company - Saint Charles, Illinois 

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Rainer
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Nell Lindner
American Realty, Lake Jackson, TX - Lake Jackson, TX
Brazosport Area Specialist

Great points, Kevin! In my former life (before real estate) I was a teacher. I saw the results of what I call "false praise". Kids who never have to face struggles or disappoinment grow into adults who can't handle the real world where your boss expects you to complete tasks on time and doesn't hand out smiley face stickers. Ultimately, kids who have been taight to work hard, play hard and solve problems on their own have a much better self image than those who have had everthing handed to them. 

August 04, 2010 07:51 PM #1
Rainmaker
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Karen Anne Stone
New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX
Fort Worth Real Estate

Kevin, as a former teacher is was always my conclusion that when those who got A's and just sat there, and those who got B's and worked there tails off to get them were compared... that later in life, the B students almost always were the better "achievers" in all they did.

August 04, 2010 10:17 PM #2
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Kevin Robinson

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