SPIDERS ASK.......HAVE YOU EVER DONE THE SPIDER DANCE.....?

By
Real Estate Broker Owner with People first then business! Ran Right Realty Riverside, Ca BRE LIC #00636943

It's early in the morning and you are either on your way to your car or the morning newspaper. You open the front door, and head out with confidence when all of a sudden, you feel something, lots of something all over your face, then your hands as you try to brush it off and then you realize, within a nano second, that you just walked into...

THE BIGGEST SPIDER WEB YOU HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED

WAIT...it gets worse. You start to employ logic mixed with fear and childhood traumas and you instantly come up with the FACT.....that if this is a SPIDER'S WEB, there must be a Spider. Not just an ordinary Spider either. This is a new specie that attacks people on their way to their cars or their morning paper and.... likes it!

It doesn't like people. In fact, it could be the mother of all KARMA Spider's that you have ever killed while they were roaming around the house or garage minding their own business. You killed them....it knows.

The size of the web (in your mind) is blown out of proportion because it is encompassing you all over. Ergo, it is a huge Spider and..... no bird, strong wind, rain or OTHER normal spider CAN STOP IT OR TAKE IT OUT. Everything gave it a wide berth during the night as it built its web. This is no joke......

You started slapping yourself on the face, you find yourself making horrible noises, you are acting out some sort of perverted dance step between a hop and a side step with a little up and down thrown in. You shriek, you spit, and then you scream. Some people curse. Some even start running like they are on fire. Their thinking is they can escape if they run fast and quick enough.

TO OBSERVE SOMEONE WHO IS DOING THE SPIDER DANCE IS HARD TO EXPLAIN. IT IS NEITHER FUNNY NOR NORMAL HUMAN BEHAVIOR.....

The SPIDER has landed and is hiding on you. It is pissed off, hungry, and it will take a bite out of you right where you think it will. That is why you keep slapping your neck, arms, back and face thinking you can get in a lucky quick, accurate lethal blow. So, here you are yelling and slapping yourself and no one is around.

If you were not quite up or were carrying anything, you are now up and you dropped whatever you had. You need to either check in with a mirror right away or if you are lucky enough, have someone look you over. You keep feeling the loose threads of the web and ......for a few-short moments, you are out of your mind......this thing is still hiding somewhere on me. Goosebumps do not help. Hollywood was right......

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED AND THE SPIDERS POINT OF VIEW

As soon as you touched the web, the spider made a bee-line for the nearest exit. It sees its worse nightmare. A 200 foot tall lethal weapon in the shape of a human being....... something it fears and dreads. It cannot react quick enough as its web is brought down around it and may or may not barely escape with its life. If it should land on you, it is running away from you for its life. It will burn every ounce of strength knowing that this is its last chance to live. It never wants to see you again....

HOLLYWOOD SHOWS THEM CHASING YOU...THEY ACTUALLY RUN AWAY FROM YOU

I do not like SPIDERS as pets. I respect the roll they play in keeping the insect population in check. When SPIDER and HUMAN meet, it is usually curtains for the SPIDER. In my more mature years, I now catch them and let them go. My kids, (while they cannot do this),..... respect my wishes and....... call me to do it for them.

One thing though....I do not like to SPIDER DANCE........and always have a keen eye open so I do not dance to the SPIDER'S tune....affectionately called....."this little web of mine has rhythm"

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Topic:
ActiveRain Community
Location:
California
Tags:
spiders
webs
spider bites
fear
apprehension
hollywood
insects
morning
shock
nightmares

Comments 35 New Comment

Anonymous
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Rainmaker
1,112,303
Richie Alan Naggar Author PEARLS SERIES of books
on LIFE and LOVE plus Real Estate too!
People first then business! Ran Right Realty Riverside, Ca

Marte....You know I read up on the daddy long legs years ago. They are proficient at catching and eating insects. I also read where the fangs are placed in such a way where they cannot bite humans. That helped me tolerate them a bit more. I went hiking and saw two people enter a cave where these things mated and raised families. Tens of thousands of them roamed the cave. The young lady who grew up there thought no big deal. The young girl who was visiting was shook up. I got the willies just watching the whole thing. The more I was exposed to this subject over the years, the less impact it had on me.......Marte......If spiders could be trained and follow commands, people would pay a small fortune to come see that I bet......Can you imgaine, just as a joke, fake webbing in the stadium seating would add to chills.....

September 06, 2010 09:15 AM
Rainmaker
404,680
Ellen Caruso
Daniel Gale Sotheby's International Realty

The character's in "Charlotte's Webb" would adore you! You've given grace and humor to the spider species. I've been dealing with one of the critters this week. I keep cleaning up their web on my stairs and they keep coming back. Wait till I find them, not even a dance will save them!

September 06, 2010 07:56 PM
Rainmaker
1,112,303
Richie Alan Naggar Author PEARLS SERIES of books
on LIFE and LOVE plus Real Estate too!
People first then business! Ran Right Realty Riverside, Ca

Ellen....I got a chill just reading your last sentence of  your comment.....I am sorry to say, the spider doesn't stand a chance..unless it has its WEB together.......

September 06, 2010 08:17 PM
Ambassador
741,248
Suzanne McLaughlin
Wright & Sherburne Counties Realtor
Sabinske & Associates, Inc. (Albertville, St. Michael)

This is hilarious.  Yesterday, I went into my "sewing room".....yeah, right.  I haven't had time to sew in the last five years....but anyway, I cleaned the whole da%$#$ room top to bottom.  And, then I was glancing at it from the dining room today and saw a new bright shiny web....only a strand.  I thought I could take it...but twenty minutes later, there were five.....WAR!!!!!!!  Went in, found the culprit hiding in the ceiling corner....bang! Gone.  Take that Mrs. Spider.  And keep your CR$#$ out of my nice clean room. 

Thanks for letting me vent...I feel much better! 

September 08, 2010 11:48 PM
Rainmaker
1,112,303
Richie Alan Naggar Author PEARLS SERIES of books
on LIFE and LOVE plus Real Estate too!
People first then business! Ran Right Realty Riverside, Ca

Suzanne....Suzanne vs the Sewing Room Spiders is a new movie coming out this fall. See an entire room taken over...strand by strand. Watch as SHE..... battles SHE......as Suzanne vents and the spider relents? Suzanne Mclaughlin, new to the cinema, but a veteran of Real Estate, tells her tale which takes place in a small little sewing room inside Albertville, St Michael. The episode appears to end on a typical note, but does it? Egg sacs may have the final say in this thriller.

September 09, 2010 10:07 AM
Anonymous
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Richie Alan Naggar Author PEARLS SERIES of books

on LIFE and LOVE plus Real Estate too!
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