Who You Associate With Says A Lot About YOU

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty 0575737

Dog Pals

Did you know, WHO you associate with says a lot about who YOU are?

This is no news to parents, who if they are good parents watch carefully the friends of their kids particularly in adolescence, cause if a son or daughter falls in with a bad crowd, well bad things tend to happen.

I think even as adults our associates, our relationships, our friends, our significant others we bump into it is somewhat a hit and miss affair. Happenstance sometimes. We hire someone as an assistant and they turn out to be a great friend. We have much in common. We start conversing with someone on a blogging network or Facebook and they become all of a sudden a confidante, a new business associate in another area of the country, or even a personal relationship, a Soulmate? You never know how these things develop.

But also as adults we need to GUIDE OURSELVES through the "honeymoon period" after being enamored with the newness of someone else and see if they are truly good for us. Now I don't have the all inclusive list of who should be your friends or close relationships but looking at this from a positive point of view, keeping them around or kicking them to the curb after six months may be in order with reviewing these characteristics. Similar to a significant other relationships, opposites can attract, they can fill your "gaps" but similarities endure within the cores of two people to make the relationship "stick."

Are they???

  • Encouragers - on most given days they uplift you
  • Have differences that stimulate you - people with other points of view can intrigue you, they are conservative you are liberal, religious vs. not so, country vs. city, open and boisterous vs. private, adventuresome vs. stay at home, loud vs. quiet, social with people vs. more reserved. As long as the difference presented to you is an area of growth with respect for who you are all the time and they don't "impose" their will on you
  • Full of smiles - any good "connection" will have this chemistry element to it where you will enjoy time spent with them. They are engaging and you can easily laugh with them
  • Safe to be with - as a relationship with anyone develops over time, you drop your shields, they drop theirs. If this is not happening you still have a stiff relationship, and if it does not ever get more comfortable it is not meant to be
  • Respectful - in all forms. Respect for you time. Respect for your values. Respect for who you are with all your human frailities. Respect for your opinion from your life path. This is not an instantaneous check mark, but something that is worked on over time
  • Reasonably consistent - in all ways. Communication. They don't treat you like an Option with being Hot and Cold toward you, one week your friend, the next week they disappear on to something more important, than like a boomerang come back
  • Cool - this is another chemistry intangible factor. You have to look inside yourself and know what COOL is to you, but if you look at the above collection of dogs picture, these guys are all COOL together. Your assemblage of friends, associates, relationships, and PARTICULARLY your significant other is COOL with you. They are your peeps, BROS, sistahs, your posse', your trusted gang

Evaluate all new relationships especially about the six month point and see if for you it is time to fire a friend due to them being self absorbed, not an encourager, egotistical, a jerk, arrogant, inconsistent or a flake, negative, narcissistic, or on the other hand they have made YOUR CLUB's membership rules.

We all can use "more" GREAT people in our lives. YOU are the one letting them have the key to your life and quite possibly the key to your heart!! Choose well.

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Show All Comments
Ambassador
1,531,439
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Jeff Dowler: Something definitely to keep in mind with social media with the closer ones.

Ron: I like that birds of a feather thought.

Cindy: I hope it works out fine for your daughter.

Jeff Belonger: I know with Facebook and Twitter, friends and followers, can be in your outer circles sometimes, so don't worry about weeding them out.

Sharon: Great song, the people you can count on in a pinch are KEEPERS.

Barbara: The 'company we keep' needs to be chosen by us, not just by some default bumping into people I agree.

Judy: Gotta like cool dudes, dogs!!

 

March 20, 2011 01:34 PM #8
Rainer
238,634
San Antonio Texas New Homes for Sale
www.sanantoniotexasnewhomesforsale.com - San Antonio, TX

Right on Gary....You sure do write some good stuff !!!   

March 20, 2011 01:49 PM #9
Ambassador
1,531,439
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Robert: Check's in the mail my man. LOL.

March 20, 2011 01:52 PM #10
Rainmaker
597,870
Nancy Conner
Managing Broker - City Realty Inc - Olympia, WA
Olympia/Thurston County WA

What an important message this is to ponder.  It can make such a wonderful difference to be with people who help you be the best possible you.

March 20, 2011 03:22 PM #11
Rainmaker
135,652
Donna J. Stephens
BHHS Ambassador Real Estate - Omaha, NE
CRS

How about..... "the nut doesn't fall far from the tree."

I totally agree, most of us spend time with people like us.

Another great post. (Do you have my address for my check?)

March 20, 2011 03:57 PM #12
Rainmaker
630,067
Don Rogers
Keller Williams Realty Chesterfield - O'Fallon, MO
Realtor, Broker, CDPE, GRI, OnullFallon MO & St Charles County MO homes

Gary,

You are so right sir, those we associate with will say a lot about us.  The same holds true about how we present ourself in social media.

March 20, 2011 05:29 PM #14
Rainmaker
951,783
Kathy Clulow
RE/MAX All-Stars Realty Inc. Brokerage - Uxbridge, ON
CNE - ASP - SRES .... Uxbridge Ontario Real Estate

Gary - sometimes in our business it is hard to be consistent in our social networks ..... There are some who come and go but I still value them as associates ..... There is a reason we associate with someone and unless that reason changes there absence for a while does not mean it's time to be "kicking them to the curb"

March 20, 2011 07:08 PM #15
Ambassador
1,531,439
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Nancy: I like the helper people. The best kind, and I can help them too.

Donna: Another check in the mail, smile. The nut not falling far from us, I like that one.....

Don: Presenting ourselves is equally important in what it says about us.

Kathy: Some we do drop them off but usually we have a good reason for doing so.

March 20, 2011 07:14 PM #16
Rainmaker
616,504
Sandy Shores Broker, Melbourne Real Estate
M & M Realty of Brevard Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Brevard County FL Real Estate

Gary, This is a great post. And as you mentioned this applies to our kids and to ourselves. We are judged by the company that we keep.  If we aren't getting something positive out of a relationship, then we should move forward.

March 20, 2011 07:51 PM #17
Rainmaker
254,306
Connie Goodrich
Keller Williams Realty - McKinney, TX
CRS ABR (McKinney Realtor)Texas

Perception is everything and you need to affiliate with those that will be the right fit for your personality but also those who will best be great sources for our business and spirit!  Great post and love those doggies!

March 20, 2011 08:44 PM #18
Rainmaker
1,448,723
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Authentic Feng Shui Expert

Hey Gary,

Awesome post and wonderful reminder. I have to teach my clients about this concept all the time. Like attracts like.  If you are looking to grow, changes will have to come, that includes with how you choose to live and even with those who you have surrounding yourself.  It all plays a part.

Sometimes the decisions you make can hurt, at the moment in time, but in the long run, you will see...it was the correct decision :)

Great post!

March 20, 2011 09:28 PM #19
Ambassador
537,822
Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Realtor (503)755-2905
Vernonia Realty - Vernonia, OR
"Your Gateway to the Lake" Birkenfeld Oregon

Gary talk about perfect pics--you nailed it! So, where'd you come up with it?  More importantly, with your twist on psychological themes, what is your background??? 

Inquiring minds and all that crap....

March 20, 2011 10:12 PM #20
Ambassador
1,531,439
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Sandy: Nothing worse than a relationship that just churns out the negative with you. Fix it or distance yourself from it.

Connie: I like your thought with meshing with your personality, and when the pairings are out of whack, that is probably a huge reason why.

Laura: Pruning people I think is a form of tough love.

Gayle: You like the pooches? They're my buds. I am a student of human observation. Ph.D in armchair psychology.

March 20, 2011 10:17 PM #21
Rainmaker
433,777
Lana Robbins Realtor ® Licensed Real Estate Broker
Aloha Kai Real Estate - Clearwater, FL
Tampa Bay, Florida Real Estate

Hi Gary. For sure... and it reflects who we are and what we value as well. (Excellent post as usual.)

March 20, 2011 11:52 PM #22
Rainmaker
344,171
Sondra Meyer
Star View Real Estate - Colorado Springs, CO
Colorado Horse Property Specialist

Some very cool dogs in this picture!  You've made some excellent points as usual.  You also remind me how thankful we should be for our friends/family that understand our quirks and/or hectic life styles. 

March 21, 2011 02:30 AM #23
Rainmaker
578,377
Patricia Feager, MBA, GRI, Cert Negotiations Expert, Military Relo Prof
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
The Little REALTOR® That Could

Gary,

So, which one of those dogs belong to you? Do they all belong to you? What a nice group of good old dogs! Are they bikers??? 

All kidding aside, you wrote a GREAT post and there is a lot of truth in what you say!

All of the dogs look lovable and very, very cute! The article is very well written! Excellent job!

Patricia

March 21, 2011 08:15 AM #24
Ambassador
1,471,257
Renée Burrows
Savvy Home Strategies Realty, LLC-REALTOR®-Estate-Probate - Las Vegas, NV
Las Vegas Real Estate Broker - www.urLVhome.com

What's crazy is I have been reading a lot on boundaries this year and I have been "firing" some friends or at least pointing out "dangerous" relationships.

Great post Gary!

March 21, 2011 09:58 AM #25
Rainmaker
352,237
Donna Yates Real Estate - serving
ReMax Town and Country - Blue Ridge, GA
North Georgia Metro & Mountains

Guilty by association - have to be careful.  Excellent post Gary, as always.

March 21, 2011 10:33 AM #26
Ambassador
766,207
Hannah Williams
Re/Max Eastern inc. - Philadelphia, PA
Expertise in NE Philadelphia & Bucks County

Gary.. I loved the picture it made me laugh out loud.. Friendship to some is golden,to some it is a way to manipulate .You have very interesting and important content here ..I hope everyone reads this

HelpfulHannah

March 21, 2011 02:46 PM #27
Rainmaker
299,221
Peg Barcelo
Fluff My House! Home Staging Inc. 250.486.6369 - Summerland, BC
The FlufftasticStager from Summerland, BC

Gary, you obviously hang out with some cool cats (er, dogs)! ;) I agree so much with what you wrote. I have over the years had to say goodbye to people who were not healthy for me in how they looked at life. It's a hard thing at the time, but it's better in the long run. If they are energy/fun sponges and take all the time, without reciprocating, it's not worth it. That is such a great photo!

March 21, 2011 10:51 PM #28
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Gary Woltal

Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth
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