In the end we are all fighting the same battle.

By
Real Estate Agent with William Raveis Real Estate

tinybuddha.com

Sometimes it can seem like everyone's out to get you. There's the person in traffic who refuses to let you into his lane. The customer service representative who rushes you off the phone without helping even a little. The friend who didn't tell you the whole story; or never gave you a chance to speak up and just left you hanging all together, which left you feeling hurt.

We've all met these people. We've also been these people. We all have days when we're not as considerate, helpful, or honest as we'd like to be.

Sometimes it's because we're rushed. Other times it's because we're tired and irritable. And other times it's because we're hurting emotionally and maybe we've yet to really acknowledge and deal with it. Maybe we don't think we can, and so we let it fester inside while we go through our day, feeling hopeless, trapped, and alone in our sadness.

If you come across someone who gets on your nerves, or doesn't treat you with the same consideration and honesty you have treated them, consider that maybe underneath their rudeness or insensitivity is a pain that's yet to be healed. It doesn't excuse or justify their actions, and it doesn't mean you shouldn't stand up for yourself when necessary, or even, in some cases, make the decision to walk away from that relationship or contact all together.

But it may make it easier to feel a tad of compassion. I don't know about you, but on days when I am hurting, that's what I want and need: a friendly face that says, "I understand, and I do really care."

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Topic:
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POSITIVE ATTITUDE for the Weary Soul
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Rainmaker
73,267
Gina NUGENT
Gina Nugent
Seiss Real Estate

I made it my mission to stay away from negative, energy sucking people, especially in my private life that I can control. These people are toxic and I am happy to leave the compassion for them to other people who want to deal with them.

In business life, counting till 100 might might be a good solution if stuck with a horrible client. Great post, Noemi.

April 17, 2011 07:59 AM
Ambassador
896,941
Andrea Swiedler
Realtor, Southern Litchfield County CT
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New England Properties

Noemi, congratulations on a well deserved feature! You are so right, we have been on both sides of this, most of us, and we hope when we are short sighted, in a bad mood, others will understand. Just as we need to understand better...

April 17, 2011 08:19 AM
Rainmaker
713,459
Chuck Carstensen
Minnesota Real Estate Expert
RE/MAX Results

Your right.  Its something to keep in mind to be patient with other and there faults.  Often its the things we need patience for ourselves that get us upset.

April 17, 2011 08:43 AM
Ambassador
1,082,788
Bryan Robertson
Broker, Author, Speaker
Catarra Real Estate, Inc

I just let people like that keep on doing their thing.  More often than not, the idiot who is dodging in and out of traffic ends up in the same place I'm going only 30 seconds sooner.  I have a name for these people, taken from Harry Potter:

These people are "dementors".  Soul sucking creatures who are best left in cold places and ignored.

April 17, 2011 10:13 AM
Rainmaker
1,203,929
Richie Alan Naggar Author PEARLS SERIES of books
on LIFE and LOVE plus Real Estate too!
People first then business! Ran Right Realty Riverside, Ca

I am always aware that the other fellow is fighting some sort of battle and act accordingly. If I can help, I will but I will not hinder or add to the burden...Noemi...thank you

April 17, 2011 10:39 AM
Rainer
101,031
Michael (Mike) Robinson
CRS, CIPs, REALTOR
Broadmoor Realty, Inc.

We always take things so personal, when usually they aren't about us at all...

April 17, 2011 11:33 AM
Rainmaker
891,596
Michael Setunsky
Your Commercial Real Estate Link to Northern VA
Michael's Commercial LLC

Noemi, excellent advice! Everyone has a bad day now and then. Thanks for the reminder.

April 17, 2011 12:04 PM
Rainmaker
1,249,804
Carla Muss-Jacobs, Principal Broker/Owner
Buyer Focused ~ Buyer Results
BuyersAgentPortland.com | (503) 810-7192 Portland Metro Exclusive Buyers Agent | 100% Buyer Representation ~ 100% of the Time

And when I flare, they can think the same thing about me too!  LOL  I'm irritable, tired, have something deep down inside . . . yup!  As a professional, I think some people feel we're super-human, but we still have these very same issues.

April 17, 2011 12:49 PM
Rainer
218,569
Robert Amato
Bob Amato of Empire Home Mortgage Inc

Every time someone is rude to me I think that they must be having a bad day or are in a bad mood about something that is going on in their lives. I feel that people are always meaning to do their best in any situation, but sometimes things happen that prevent their best efforts.

April 17, 2011 12:55 PM
Rainmaker
101,521
Paul Franciskato
Asset Brokering Services

This is a great perspective to have and I'm glad you wrote this post because this is something everyone can relate with!

April 17, 2011 01:08 PM
Rainmaker
80,504
Virginia Dean
Keller Williams Realty

Thanks for reminding me about this.  I tend to take what I consider "slights" personally.

Will try to remind myself each day that everyone has something going on.

 

 

April 17, 2011 01:22 PM
Rainer
122,248
Cory Barbee
Broker (760) 563-4022

I think that if someone is running into this on a consistent basis...focusing on having a differnt minset can go a long way to seeing a different picture around you.

April 17, 2011 01:43 PM
Rainmaker
174,357
Greg Gardner
Blithernet Online Classifieds

Thanks for a great post.  I wish more made me consider my actions, like this did.

Greg J. Gardner

April 17, 2011 01:52 PM
Rainmaker
564,383
Diane McDermott
Charlotte NC Real Estate Market
Realtor®, GRI, Landis e2 Real Estate, LLC

With those I don't know well I try and give the benefit of the doubt, we all have days our patience supply is exhausted (some just have larger reservoirs!) and that can come definitely come across in our actions

April 17, 2011 02:08 PM
Rainmaker
597,593
Barbara Altieri
REALTOR - Fairfield County CT Real Estate
RealtyQuest, Fairfield and New Haven County CT Homes for Sale and Real Estate

Noemi -- Very nicely said. When I encounter someone who I consider downright mean and inconsiderate, I have learned that I need to understand that they likely have something going on in their life which is causing this behavior and I need to handle the situation accordingly.

April 17, 2011 02:34 PM
Ambassador
1,550,726
Christine Donovan
Broker/Attorney 800-610-7253 DRE01267479 - Costa M
Donovan Blatt Realty

Noemi - That's certainly another way of looking at it rather than just becoming frustrated and irritated.

April 17, 2011 09:35 PM
Rainmaker
313,510
Sandy Acevedo
RE/MAX Masters, Inland Empire Homes for Sale
951-290-8588

This is excellent advice and sometimes very hard to do. But when it works out well, you feel oh so much better. Thanks for the inspiration.

April 17, 2011 11:31 PM
Rainer
234,262
Doug Bullwinkel
NMLS #281609
Vitek Mortgage Group

You never know what someone else is going through when you meet them out there in the world.  We all need to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, at least until they show us who they really are.

April 18, 2011 03:16 AM
Rainmaker
656,584
Pamela Seley, REALTOR®
Menifee Lakes California Real Estate
REALTY EXECUTIVES OTF

Noemi, I'm not perfect and have had my share of bad moments. Having compassion is not always easy, but something we should all strive for.  Especially when times are tough for everyone, it's better to step back and let the person be. If they're just having a bad day, they'll come back around. Some, however, are always that way and nothing will change that, except if they choose to.

April 18, 2011 11:47 AM
Rainer
26,850
Lucille Botos
Lighthouse Properties

Very well said Noemi.  Its amazing how much we can endure from other people when we exercise compassion and remember that we don't know what might be going on in their lives. 

April 20, 2011 11:42 AM
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Rainmaker
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Noemi Cardoso

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