Please Help....NFL Players

By
Real Estate Agent with Surterre Properties

Hundreds of Professional Football players in our very own nation are going to be locked out, living at well below the seven-figure salary level. And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming lockout situation. But you can help!

For only $27,080 a month, about $902.75 a day (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help an NFL player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help!

Although $900 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a football player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout golfing in Florida or having 18 holes leave the holes with him on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, nine hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, a mortgage payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a football player, $900 will partially replace his daily salary. This will enable each NFL player to keep up his supply of growth hormones needed to remain big, fast and mean enough to give you those spine rattling hits.

Your commitment of less than $900 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio or attend a sexual addiction clinic to help him come up with better leads for women than e-harmony could ever do.  Plus room and board is included.

HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?

Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate, child support payments and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.

HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

Your NFL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. This is the least America can do for these gladiators who give you so much joy during the football season busting up their and everybody else's body that runs in their way.  Players like Tiki Barber can not be away from pleasing you and are coming back to the NFL to run some more for your enjoyment. Plexico Buress is out of jail and looking for employment but of course there is none with the lockout.  Even Tom Brady who's wife Gisele Bunchen makes $45 million dollars a year needs your help as you can understand how difficult it must be for a man like Tom having to ask his wife for his child support money.  Antonio Cromartie will give back his sperm to any couples out there not able to have children. 

YES, I WANT TO HELP!

I would like to sponsor a locked out NFL player. My preference is (check below):

[ ] Offense [ ] Defense [ ] Special Teams [ ] Entire team

Please charge the account listed below $902.75 per day for the duration of the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player and my very own Roger Goodell (NFL Commissioner) pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).  Proceeds of the hat go to the salary of Roger Goodell who's given up his paycheck until the Players and owners have an agreement.

Your Name: ____________________Telephone Number: ___________________

Account Number: __________________Exp.Date:_______

[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

Signature: _______________________

Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):
Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

Signature: ______________________

 

p.s. If you have a little extra, please enclose for the cheerleaders. Contrary to public opinion, cheerleaders are people too and they are there for your enjoyment.
 

 

 

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Michael Caruso, Broker Associate ABR ABRM CLHMS CRB CRS GREEN GRI

Surterre Properties

Past President, Orange County Association of Realtors (949) 495-8600

 

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Rainmaker
418,084
Ted Tyrrell
DFH Real Estate Ltd. - Victoria, BC
Selling Homes in Beautiful Victoria

Ha, ha, Michael. Well put together tongue-in-cheek appeal to the ball players. I would like to help, but don't know which player to support. It may take a few months to decide. I have so many favorites. LOL

Jun 21, 2011 02:43 PM #1
Rainer
29,383
Chris Pappas
Prudential Douglas Elliman - Manhasset, NY - Manhasset, NY

Funny write up!!!

 

But there is so much more to the NFL lockout than players wanting more money! Not all football players are pulling in 7 figure salaries. I saw on espn, owners are raking in 1 billion per year.... yes. 1 Billion.

 

Quick excerpt from ehow page:

 

What is the Average Salary of NFL Players?

 

 


The average NFL salary is a shade under $1.8 million in 2009, but that can be a misleading number. Less than a quarter of the roughly 1,800 NFL players make that amount, and less than half make a million dollars per season. In reality, the NFL isn't nearly the "easy money" venue that many fans think. The majority of players never even see a million dollars for their career. Yet, a select few do end up quite rich.

 

  1. The Base Salary

    • The league minimum is $295,000, according to the NFL Players Association. That money is guaranteed for any player who is on an active roster for at least three games.

    The Average Base Salary

    • The average base salary was $990,000, but players can make much more money than that, according to a analysis of NFL salary databases.

    The Average Signing Bonus

    • Signing bonuses are the ways that most players make their money. The average signing bonus for all players is $1.34 million, which is a large number considering that almost 600 players don't have one in their current contract.

    Other Bonuses

    • Players can sign various other bonuses into their contracts, which unlike signing bonuses, count as part of the total salary. That average was $440,000 during the 2008 season.

    Salaries Per Team

    • The Tampa Bay Buccaneers spent a little more than $1.4 million per player in the 2008 season. That included 37 players making more than $1 million. The Green Bay Packers had the lowest median average at $640,000.

    The Fine Print

    • While many of the salaries look gigantic compared to the average paycheck, these are not guaranteed. That means the money vanishes as soon as a player is cut, retires or leaves the team.

 

 

As you can see, the strike is for the "little" guy. These guys beat themselves up, risk getting paralyzed every play and have little guarantee of pay and or benefits. Although the Brett Farve's / Tom Brady's / Brandon Marshall's are the target of the "average" NFL fans disgust, it's not them that are the cause of it. Those guys made their money. If they don't play its more time for them to enjoy it. I'm sure deep down inside, Tom Brady would rather enjoy his millions w/ his supermodel wife on an exotic island somewhere... just a hunch.

 

I'm sure everyone can remember Jerome Bettis, star RB for the Steelers. Read this:

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3003010

 

 

Jun 21, 2011 02:50 PM #2
Rainmaker
439,098
E.J. "Mike" Carlier
CENTURY 21 MarketLink Realty - Lakeville, MN
Lakeville MN

Right.  Some of those poor guys are getting by on less than $300 thousand.  Owners are doing well, but at least they have a financial investment in the project.  When going to a game costs a little more than a three day vacation getaway, maybe the fans should lock out the NFL.

Jun 21, 2011 03:00 PM #3
Rainmaker
136,158
Steve Stenros
Poway,La Jolla,Del Mar,Mira Mesa,Carlsbad,Escondido,Temecula - San Diego, CA
CREIA MCI, ICC, Home Inspector,San Diego

Really creative post, Michael! I hit "suggest". I think I'll eat nothing but popcorn for the next few months and send the savings to these poor fellas!

Jun 21, 2011 03:00 PM #4
Rainmaker
570,450
Than Maynard
Coldwell Banker Heart of Oklahoma - Purcell, OK
Broker - Licensed to List & Sell - 405-990-8862

Lock out was the best thing to happen to my favorite college team. Two star players stayed for their senior years, because the lock-out was expected/predicted.

Keep an eye out for the Oklahom State Cowboys.

Jun 21, 2011 03:56 PM #5
Rainer
61,009
Rebecca Melancon
RAM Arts Photography - Lake Charles, LA

Oh how I needed that smile today!  Thank you very much for sharing this.  Awesome post. :)  I will be suggesting! :)

Jun 21, 2011 05:49 PM #6
Rainer
206,989
Judi Boad
ACCURATE REALTY GROUP - Seattle, WA

Is Sally Struthers going to be the spokesperson for this charity drive?

This was big fun! A suggest hit so everyone can share the love!

Jun 21, 2011 06:58 PM #7
Ambassador
1,473,600
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Michael- as much as I love and want the NFL to play this season... I'm tired of these inflated salaries.  They've got to get rid of the over-sized rookie starting salaries.  Your post was hilarious.

Jun 21, 2011 08:29 PM #8
Rainmaker
423,534
Jim Patton
Century 21 M&M - 209-633-2839 - Turlock, CA
Realtor - Stanislaus & Merced county Realtor.

Great post Michael.  Maybe we can start the same thing for Realtors.

 

Jun 21, 2011 08:53 PM #9
Rainmaker
1,764,067
William Feela
WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

Love it.  I do hope they get to play this year.  Not so much for them but for the little people who depend on a 4-5 figure income to live.

Jun 21, 2011 09:17 PM #10
Rainmaker
142,363
Mike Mayer
Mike Mayer, Broker/Owner - i List For Less Realty, LLC - Lafayette, LA

I'm looking for my credit card right after this comment. Thanks for sharing such a noble and worthwhile cause.

Jun 22, 2011 02:59 AM #11
Rainmaker
645,178
Team Honeycutt
Allen Tate - Concord, NC

hahahha this will be a classic one day. Wait is tomorrow that one day? Too funny but true. When they are playing a game they are still playing games. ( J )

 

Jun 22, 2011 04:42 PM #12
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