Funniest jokes from around the world.

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Services for Real Estate Pros with R & D Art

The funniest joke in the world:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services.

 

He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"

The Second Funniest Joke ever:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson goes on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

‘Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

 

The Funniest Joke in England and the United Kingdom:

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. ‘Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

The Funniest Joke in England and the United Kingdom:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off - go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Rainer
25,159
Richard Perkins
R PERKINS REALTY - Stockton, CA

Short sweet and to the point lol

Oct 17, 2007 01:09 PM #1
Rainmaker
384,080
Ricki Eichler
CastNet Realty - Ingleside, TX
Broker,GRI,ABR, - Your Coastal Bend Home Source
Very funny, esp. the tent joke.  I needed a laugh today   Thanks,  Ricki
Oct 17, 2007 01:12 PM #2
Rainer
52,953
Ralph Nudi
Weichert, Realtors® - Precision - Kenosha, WI
Improving the lives of our Clients and our Agents

I needed a good clean laugh.

... monkey

Oct 17, 2007 01:12 PM #3
Rainer
331,896
Danny Thornton
R & D Art - Knoxville, TN
WordPress Guru
Richard/Ricki/Ralph, glad I could accomadate you today.
Oct 17, 2007 01:14 PM #4
Rainer
406,159
Sean Allen
International Financing Solutions - Fort Myers, FL
International Financing Solutions

Hehehehe, those were funny. Thanks for sharing them with us.

Sean Allen
The Mortgage Professionals

Oct 17, 2007 01:29 PM #5
Anonymous
Anonymous
Why was the monkey in the tent, anyway?
Oct 17, 2007 01:31 PM #6
Rainer
331,896
Danny Thornton
R & D Art - Knoxville, TN
WordPress Guru
Mott, what monkey was in what tent?
Oct 17, 2007 01:34 PM #7
Rainer
232,293
BLR Guy
BLRGUY(Beach & Luxury Realty Inc) - Saint Pete Beach, FL
LOL..These are a scream!Yes,I believe I have indeed rubbed off on you!LOL Keep the good funnies coming!
Oct 17, 2007 02:14 PM #8
Rainer
331,896
Danny Thornton
R & D Art - Knoxville, TN
WordPress Guru
Rick, if I wanted to quit I couldn't. I am addicted.
Oct 17, 2007 02:31 PM #9
Rainer
10,696
Bob Nowack
Greenrock Realty and Finance - Antelope, CA
e-PRO Realtor
Danny, I don't know if it is the time of night or what, but that was really funny. Thanks for the laugh.
Oct 18, 2007 11:37 PM #10
Rainer
331,896
Danny Thornton
R & D Art - Knoxville, TN
WordPress Guru
Bob, it is the craziest things that make us laugh. Glad you enjoyed it.
Oct 19, 2007 09:32 AM #11
Rainmaker
399,769
Hugh Krone
Weichert Referral Associates - Hamburg, NJ
Realtor, Sussex County NJ

Danny ,

That Sherlock Holmes joke was hilarious thank You.

Oct 19, 2007 10:49 AM #12
Rainer
331,896
Danny Thornton
R & D Art - Knoxville, TN
WordPress Guru

Hugh, I liked that one also. Thanks for stopping by.

Oct 19, 2007 12:10 PM #13
Rainer
34,861
Mehmet Met Dilsiz
FND Photography / M2 Real Estate Solutions - Midvale, UT
I love the third one   :)
Oct 19, 2007 12:25 PM #14
Rainer
331,896
Danny Thornton
R & D Art - Knoxville, TN
WordPress Guru
met, I love them all.
Oct 19, 2007 12:57 PM #15
Rainer
187,443
Chris Pollinger
Real Estate Business Advisors - San Clemente, CA
Thanks for sharing the humor.  It was a welcome relief to the end of a very long week.  May you have a great weekend!
Oct 19, 2007 04:22 PM #16
Rainer
331,896
Danny Thornton
R & D Art - Knoxville, TN
WordPress Guru
Chris, stop by anytime that you need a laugh.
Oct 19, 2007 05:55 PM #17
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