"Local Broker's Head Explodes at DMV. Brain Goo Everywhere! More at 11 P.M."

By
Managing Real Estate Broker with Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc 0225086119
http://actvra.in/kvc

"Local Broker's Head Explodes at DMV.  Brain Goo Everywhere!  More at 11 P.M."  OK, that was the headline I dreamed about while napping, but it could happen.  Why I saved my trip to the DMV for Friday is a mystery.  Oh, yeah, it's the DMV (Death March Victims).  I would save it for an hour before the apocalypse if possible.

It was all my fault.  For some reason, the DMV didn't send me a license renewal this time around, and by total accident, I was filling out a form to work with a new bank and found out that I was due.  I tried to renew online, but the website told me I had to pick 5 out of 10 types of ID to prove I am a US citizen, and then I needed to happily bring them in and apply. (OK, I added happily, but I was just trying to be positive.)

When I finally went to the DMV this afternoon I forgot to take my file to prove I'm a US citizen.  No problem.  Look at my old license.  Look at my old head.  Look at my wife dancing around wishing I had done this on time.  Everything points to my citizenship.  I speak English as a first language (though I could work on that a bit). 

When you enter the Virginia DMV you have to line up, much like prisoners being carted off to some unknown destination in some undisclosed facility in some unknown county.  It's a sad looking bunch.  My wife immediately started rubbing my arm saying, "Breathe in, breathe out."  Why?  I hadn't even gotten to the executioner at the head of the line. 

When I did, I said, "I need to renew my driver's license."  No problem, right?  She looked at old license, and then she glanced up with disdain in her eyes and said, "Do you have proof of citizenship?"

To which I replied, "I've been driving in Virginia nearly 40 years, and now I need to prove I'm a citizen?"  My wife was suddenly rubbing my arm again, my eyebrows were up (that's always a bad sign), there was a slight whistling sound rising as the built up steam started to escape my ears and the executioner said, "Yes."  The gleam in her eyes told it all.  I expected her to smile with a big gold tooth shining back at me.  But, she didn't smile.  Smiling was for slackers, and she was no slacker!  "Next!"

Ahhhhhhh, duct tape, where's the duct tape.  I needed duct tape.  I left with no renewed license.  I was now driving illegally.  An hour later I returned with my passport, voter registration card, birth certificate, conceal carry permit and old expired license.  I thought about bringing my mother, but my wife reminded me that she would need to bring proof of citizenship too.  This time, the executioner gave me a number and in her very best Marlon Brando Godfather voice said, "Wait over there and they will call your number."

Moments later I hear the digital voice say, "E199, to window 4 please."  What?  One nintey-nine?  I'm B49.  Did you miss B49?  What about A?  What about B?  What about me?  Was I in the restroom?  My wife was sure the executioner gave me a number that doesn't exist.  Maybe she gave me the last one they call each day.  It's all my fault!  I will never drive again!

No, in about 30 minutes, they called my number.  I was ready for battle this time.  I had my old license, my other IDs and an application for my new license.  I got to window 6 and there was the sweetest little blonde employee I could have asked for.  I know there is a God.  She was a bit disarming, but this wasn't over.  I still had another 30 minutes going through all the details of getting a new license in a state where I've had one for nearly 40 years.

When time came to give my proof of citizenship my wife grabbed my file and said, "Here use your birth certificate. Oh look, it's expired."  The DMV employee laughed along with the neighboring employees, and from then on things went pretty well.  We all had a nice laugh at my expense, but I didn't mind, I just wanted my license.  Hey, I'd do standup on the counter if we could move this along and get it over!

So, the headline was just a dream, and for the record, if you approach things with a good sense of humor it always goes better.  Oh yeah, one more twist to my story.  They are mailing my license in 7-8 days.  Why?  I don't care as long as I don't have to go back there for the next 8 years.

 

 

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Re-Blogged 1 time:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. James Muhammad 09/30/2011 11:43 PM
Topic:
ActiveRain Community
Location:
Virginia Frederick County Winchester
Groups:
30 Days In September 2011 Localism Posting Challenge
Active Rain Newbies
BananaTude
VIRGINIA
"Whacked"!!!
Tags:
mike cooper
real estate agent broker winchester va
dmv

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Rainmaker
211,937
Yvette Chisholm
Long & Foster Real Estate, Inc. - Rockville, MD
Associate Broker - Rockville, MD 301-758-9500

Mike, the DMV or MVA, it is all the same....lots of pain for consumers and drivers.   You would think they were giving away money with the long lines.

Sep 30, 2011 09:47 PM #1
Rainmaker
810,694
Mike Cooper
Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Pro

Absolutely, Yvette.  I was so thankful for the little blonde.  She was a doll and salvaged the day.  Have a great weekend!

Sep 30, 2011 09:49 PM #2
Rainmaker
477,179
Andrea Bedard
Thompson Company, REALTORS - Silver Spring, MD
M.A.; REALTOR Silver Spring, MD and beyond

Mike, I know you were so not laughing at the DMV but I just about fell off my chair laughing ... ok, I'm still laughing and hubby is about to get me an oxygen mask!

Sorry, you had such a "fun" time today Mike but you are very talented in turning this into a comedy!

P.S. I don't think I had to go through all of this when I got my VA license .. and I am a foreigner!

Sep 30, 2011 10:00 PM #3
Rainmaker
1,088,106
Wallace S. Gibson, CPM
Gibson Management Group, Ltd. - Charlottesville, VA
LandlordWhisperer

I feel your pain....I am going to have to prove to Social Security that I am NOT married to my last husband since I have been married to my current husband for 15 years and my last husband has been married to his current wife for the last 15 years....they have my SS and medicaid in my last husband's last name YET they send me tax refund checks with my current husband AND use my MAIDEN name.

This will be Fun!!!

Sep 30, 2011 10:00 PM #4
Rainmaker
810,694
Mike Cooper
Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Pro

Andrea, I left the best part out. I had to go the County Treasure's office in between visits to the DMV.  That could be a blog by itself.  Ah, it all worked out.  Thank God I have a wacky sense of humor.  Have a great DMV free weekend!

Oy vey, Wallace.  Well, I guess this is job security for state employees!  Thanks for dropping by.  I think you have a blog in that story!!

 

Sep 30, 2011 10:09 PM #5
Ambassador
1,481,666
Anna Banana Kruchten
Phoenix Property Shoppe - Phoenix, AZ
Arizona's Top Banana of Real Estate!

Thank God for you your wife Mike....she did her best to keep 'your' focus on the end result!!  And....it sure sounds crazy to me.....beyond crazy.  It's almost as insane as some short sale transactions that make no sense.

 

Enjoy your weekend, now that you're legal!!

Sep 30, 2011 10:53 PM #6
Rainmaker
810,694
Mike Cooper
Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Pro

Thanks, Anna.  It was just another day at the DMV.  8-(  Hey, have a great weekend!!

Sep 30, 2011 11:00 PM #7
Rainer
11,160
Michael Morgan
Remax - Altamonte Springs, FL
Serving Seminole County FL

Mike, I love this story, I ran into very similar circumstances about 2 weeks ago, the only difference was that my number was in the T's somewhere and they just called a G number, I wanted to scream.  It was so much easier when they had a pull your number and it went 1-99 then they had to add more paper. 

Oct 01, 2011 12:01 AM #8
Rainmaker
810,694
Mike Cooper
Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Pro

Ouch, Michael.  I feel a headache coming on every time I have to go over there.  Once I get to the counter, it's all good.  It's getting into the system that is painful.  Have a great weekend!!

Oct 01, 2011 12:59 AM #9
Rainmaker
1,100,020
Conrad Allen
Re/Max Professional Associates - Webster, MA
Webster, Ma, Realtor

Hi Mike -  Talk about people who find ways to make things NOT happen.  UGH!

Oct 01, 2011 06:34 AM #10
Rainmaker
810,694
Mike Cooper
Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Pro

Whew, you are so right, Conrad.  Have a great day!!

Oct 01, 2011 08:27 AM #11
Ambassador
1,228,517
Dick Greenberg
New Paradigm Partners LLC - Fort Collins, CO
Northern Colorado Residential Real Estate

Hi Mike - When Dante wrote the Inferno, he forgot the circle of hell that is an unending DMV experience, or maybe he remembered but decided that it would just be too scary.

Oct 01, 2011 10:00 AM #12
Rainmaker
810,694
Mike Cooper
Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Pro

Dick, you might be right on that.  It's always a good illustration when people think about allowing the government to take over an industry.  Oh, yeah, they run the DMV!  Forget it!.  Have a great weekend!!

Oct 01, 2011 10:29 AM #13
Rainmaker
530,537
Jill Sackler
Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. "Said and Done!" - Merrick, NY
Long Island's South Shore Real Estate Agent

The DMV is always an experience. Don't bother going if you're not in a patient, relaxed state of mind. Your wife was heaven sent.

Oct 01, 2011 10:08 PM #14
Rainmaker
810,694
Mike Cooper
Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Pro

That's an understatement, Jill.  8-)

Oct 01, 2011 10:57 PM #15
Rainmaker
198,769
Ed Gillespie
Rocklin, CA

Sounds like your DMV was trained by California's!  At least you can make appointments now but, if you don't, heaven help you.  ;-]

Oct 02, 2011 12:05 AM #16
Rainmaker
810,694
Mike Cooper
Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Pro

It sounds universal, Ed.  Have a great Sunday!!

Oct 02, 2011 12:23 AM #17
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John McCormack
Albuquerque Homes Realty * www.AlbuquerqueHomes.com - Albuquerque, NM
AlbuquerqueHomes.com, Albuquerque Homes Realty

Hey Mike -

Are you sure you don't live in Albuquerque?  Sounds about how it goes here.  I gave up on waiting for eons I pay the extra and am in and out in around half an hour at the express DMV dives to drive ....LOL. 

Oct 05, 2011 09:40 PM #18
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Mike Cooper

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