If your career isn't going where you expected, it might be you.

By
Managing Real Estate Broker with Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc 0225086119
http://actvra.in/pFM

Over the past 30 plus years I've worked with a lot of couples who where struggling with their marriages.  There is one stress issue that has come up over and over, whether voiced or not, but it's not money.  The number one reason, beyond adultery and abuse, for couples to break up is failed expectations

It might have been promises not kept as the core of the failed expectations.  For instance, a young man may woo a girl into relationship, and ultimately into marriage, because of the potential for a comfortable life with lots of "stuff" and all that life can offer, like kids, cars, a nice home, great vacations, etc.  But, when reality hits, the economy turns upside-down, the jobs or promotions don't come, the money is too little and the expectation is crushed.  Soon after, the marriage falls apart. 

The same can be true in your career, or any career for that matter.  When you entered your current career, you probably didn't expect to experience the longest running recession since the Great Depression to be your current and constant norm. 

You may not have expected your chosen field to be the hardest hit in an economy that is struggling to get on track.  You probably didn't think that clients would use your services with promises of financial reward, only to turn their backs on you just before payday or that a co-worker would steal a customer away when you weren't looking.

These things all happen in life, but there is a flip-side to living in a world of failed expectations.  You can just as easily live in a world of expectations.  Today, I had a client email to tell me that her husband decided to go with a family friend for their current listing needs.  I had done all the leg work, set a price for their upcoming sale, provided all the paperwork for their short sale and they took it followed by a short email and a simple "sorry, but" line that would leave most of us frustrated.  It did me.

But, on other side of that event, I still live a life of expectation.  It's hard sometimes, but it's a much better way to live.  Three hours later, I received a new listing.  I could have sulked over the lost opportunity, or I could believe that good things are going to come my way day after day.  When they come, they are there because they are expected.  There is a great power, or faith, in expecting good things to come into your life. 

One of the things I always asked each individual in a marriage couple counseling session is, "What would you have to change to be happy in any relationship?"  That normally caught them off guard because they wanted me to ask what their partner would need to change in order for them to be happy, but the truth is no one can make you happy or sad without your permission. 

So, as you're thinking about your career, "What would you have to change to develop a life of expectation in your career?" 

 

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Rainmaker
52,357
Linda Jamail Marshall
Linda Marshall,Houston Texas, Linda Marshall, Realtors® - Houston, TX
Broker, ABR,QSC,RECS,ACRE - Innerloop Houston, Tex

Excellent post Mike.  this was a real "uplifting read" today.  I agree with Lynn #157

Linda Jamail Marshall, Broker,ABR,RECS,QSC

Innerloop Houston Texas

December 15, 2011 11:29 PM #161
Rainer
37,348
Michael Singh,Broker
Singh Real Estate - Corral de Tierra, CA

Almost didn't read this,   Glad I Did

Thanks

December 16, 2011 01:05 AM #163
Rainer
72,192
Rocky Dole
West USA Realty Revelation - Maricopa, AZ

It goes back to that old saying that if you think can do something then you are right, if you think that you can't do something you are right, but either way you are right.

December 16, 2011 01:34 AM #164
Rainmaker
785,099
Mike Cooper
Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Pro

Well said, Winston.

Excellent, Diane.  Glad it helped!

Thank you, Linda.  I'm glad it encouraged you.

Thanks, Michael.

There you go, Rocky. 

December 16, 2011 01:48 AM #165
Rainmaker
633,306
Stephanie/Bob The Ruiz/Miller Team
Keller Williams Cornerstone Realty - Ocala, FL
The Ocala Dream Team

Hi Mike,  Excellent post.  Really made me think - about me!

December 16, 2011 06:08 AM #166
Rainer
88,042
Jamie R. Bell
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Glastonbury, CT
GRI Your Central CT Realtor

Wow Mike! Great post, very thought provoking and perfect timing for this post. Now we can all think and plan to make those changes next year!

It is really a different business we are in.

Here's to a great 2012!

December 16, 2011 06:22 AM #167
Rainmaker
785,099
Mike Cooper
Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Pro

Great, Bob.  Welcome to Friday!

Thanks for commenting, Jamie!

December 16, 2011 06:54 AM #168
Rainer
229,855
Karen Bernetti
Staging4Smooth Transitions Connecticut Home Staging - Southington, CT

Thanks for the inspiration Mike!  So true....our expectations have great power over us.  Expect good things AND take appropriate action (some people forget this part) and good things will come.  Expect bad things, and that too is what will usually come to us.  Words I live by: what we think about we bring about and What we resist persists.  

December 16, 2011 07:17 AM #169
Rainmaker
353,874
Sylvie Stuart
Keller Williams Check Realty 928-600-2765 - Flagstaff, AZ
Home Buying, Home Selling and Investment - Flagstaff, AZ

It's so true, this is such a great post. We are the ones in control of our lives, not others, when we focus on ourselves and what we can do in any situation, good things will happen.

December 16, 2011 08:00 AM #170
Rainer
114,015
Brian Schulte
Allison James Estates & Homes - Sierra Vista, AZ
SFR, Sierra Vista, AZ

SO TRUE

As the saying goes "If it's to be, it's up to me" ... or other sayings

If we are not working on improving, we must be expecting the opposite.  Most time when things are bad I look at what "I" did or did not do 1st.  Then I can find myself and pick myself up again.  The bottom line is that we are human and will never be perfect; we just keep on moving and mostly forward.

Merry Christmas and Keep Smilin

December 16, 2011 08:02 AM #171
Rainmaker
68,335
Dave Miller
RE/MAX Integrity, Dumont, NJ 201-385-8100 - Dumont, NJ
RE/MAX Real Estate Dumont,NJ - Bergen County, New Jersey Homes for Sale

I think responsibility is the key word.   We all need to take 100% responsibility for our own situations.  Thanks for the post.

December 16, 2011 08:31 AM #172
Rainmaker
785,099
Mike Cooper
Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Pro

Well said, Karen.

Absolutely, Sylvie. 

Brian, it looks like we're all on the same page today.  Happy Friday!

So true, Dave.

December 16, 2011 09:02 AM #173
Rainer
55,770
Linda Gurtel, CRS
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Glastonbury, CT

I think the post was very good.  Dave Miller's comment about responsibility is key.  We all need to take responsibility for our actions.  We all tend to have a little tunnel vision and we often need to step back and look at the situation the way others may see it.

December 16, 2011 11:48 AM #174
Rainmaker
785,099
Mike Cooper
Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Pro

Thanks for commenting, Linda.  Happy Friday!

December 16, 2011 12:16 PM #175
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous

I agree with Dave Miller we all have to take responsibility for our actions.  Sometimes we tend to have tunnel vision and at these times we need to take a step back and regroup.

December 16, 2011 12:55 PM #176
Rainmaker
785,099
Mike Cooper
Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Pro

So true sometimes. 

December 16, 2011 04:26 PM #177
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous

Hi Mike.  I really enjoyed this post.  Thank you.

December 17, 2011 08:45 PM #178
Rainmaker
785,099
Mike Cooper
Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Pro

Thanks, Aimee.  I hope you're having a great weekend!

December 17, 2011 09:27 PM #179
Anonymous
Anonymous
Felicia Coley

Hello,

Last month, I glanced at the title of this blog and saved it to read later. And today is later :-) This blog is very well written!! Felicia

January 27, 2012 06:00 PM #180
Rainmaker
785,099
Mike Cooper
Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Pro

Thanks, Felicia.  Have a great weekend!

January 27, 2012 06:03 PM #181
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Rainmaker
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Mike Cooper

Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Pro
Winchester has a place for you! Call me.
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