Merry Christmas to all My Female Friends!!!

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty Boise Idaho SP20114
http://actvra.in/pX4

Borrowing this from my good Friend Gail Leath...

 

 

Merry Christmas To My Female Friends

 

        If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do

        I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you

        And deliver some things just inside your front door

        Things you have lost, but treasured before.

 

        I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor,

        And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.

        Then restore the old color that once graced your hair

        Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.

 

        I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted

        So things now suspended need not be uplifted.

        I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back

        Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.

 

        I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin

        So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin.

        You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells,

        And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.

 

        No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes,

        No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.

        Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny,

        From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.

 

        You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take.

        And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.

        Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid,

        You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.

 

        I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle,

        And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.

        But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me,

        The matronest of matrons you ever did see.

 

        I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got,

        But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.

        Even though we've grown older, this wish is sincere,

        Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.

                                 

 

 

Posted by

Bzybee Logo

Deborah Byron Leffler   SFR, PMN "The BZYBEE REALTOR"

Keller Williams Realty Boise

Serving All of Boise, Nampa, Meridian, Eagle, Caldwell, Marsing, Wilder, Homedale and Middleton

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Topic:
ActiveRain Community
Groups:
40 Somethings
Be The Best In Your Field
Club Chaos
National Women's Council of Realtors - Not Just for Women!
Rainer's Women's Council of Realtors
Tags:
thought of the day
humour for women
jokes for women
christmas laughs

Comments 9 New Comment

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Rainmaker
874,485
P.J. Virgilio Jr., Realtor 408-568-6578 Selling homes in the Greater San Jose area and South through San Martin, Gilroy
San Juan Bautista and Hollister as well!
Keller Williams Realty Silicon Valley

Deborah,

Well the title got me to open your post and to go on a rant about leaving out the men that read your blog post ..... Ooops! Very cute poem and I will be sharing this with some Lady friends as well.

Humbly,

Happy Holiday's and all the best for 2012!

 

December 20, 2011 09:58 AM
Rainmaker
617,392
Deborah Byron Leffler BzyBee Real Estate Lady!
Keller Williams Realty Boise

LOL  Patrick....I will wish you a Very Merry Christmas too my friend!!!   LOL

December 20, 2011 12:13 PM
Rainmaker
1,002,449
Belinda Spillman
Your Real Estate Resource For Life!
Aspen Lane Real Estate LLC

Great poem.  I can realte to just about all of those female things.... especially the hair color.  I don't even remember what color my hair is supposed to be...  lol

December 20, 2011 01:12 PM
Ambassador
1,234,887
Kathleen Daniels
San Jose Homes for Sale - Probate Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822

Deborah, What a nice gift ... thank you :-) I'm feeling like I could use a spa treatment right now - an entire day treatment.  I know I would feel like I look better than I do.  That's good enough for me (LOL)!

December 20, 2011 01:40 PM
Rainmaker
617,392
Deborah Byron Leffler BzyBee Real Estate Lady!
Keller Williams Realty Boise

LOL  Belinda....I think a lot of us can relate to these!   LOL  

Kathleen....I could go for a spa treatment too!!   What a wonderful gift that would be!

December 20, 2011 01:46 PM
Rainmaker
472,513
Judith Parker
CRS, GRI, CMRS, Charlotte, NC
ProStead Realty

Hi Deborah, Merry Christmas to you.  This is such a great poem and it made me smile.  Oh the things we go thru as women.  Have a great evening!

December 20, 2011 08:41 PM
Rainmaker
617,392
Deborah Byron Leffler BzyBee Real Estate Lady!
Keller Williams Realty Boise

Judith....isn't that the truth!!!  LOL   Merry Christmas to you!!

December 21, 2011 05:33 PM
Rainmaker
283,638
Marie Graham
Westchester County Interior Decorator, Home Stager
Owner, The Refreshed Home White Plains NY

Hi Deborah-just caught this, FUNNY and sweet, thanks!

December 27, 2011 08:53 PM
Rainmaker
617,392
Deborah Byron Leffler BzyBee Real Estate Lady!
Keller Williams Realty Boise

Marie...so glad you liked it!!!   Happy New Year!

December 27, 2011 09:13 PM
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Rainmaker
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Deborah Byron Leffler BzyBee Real Estate Lady!

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