"Bald touches" - Are Your Listing Remarks Missing by a Hair?

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

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Yes, it's Friday, and the Blooper Scooper is back. When you see some of the gaffes I found this week, you may want to shave your own head in protest. Check out these hysterical faux pas, friends:

Please tell me it’s a joke…

“Park at Kim’s Wart” ( Uh, not so fast - is there a hair growing out of it?)

“Blow-up sale” (Did this occur before or after you blew up your career?)”

“Electriiciity now on” (My gut says you tested the outlets with a fork.)

“Key hidden under matt” (I can only imagine where Matt’s keyhole is…)

“Dont hasittate” (Don’t drink Nyquil.)

Please tell me you don’t live in L.A

“Here it is – a buyer’s dram” (There it goes – an agent’s six-pack.)

“A correction of  statues”  (Is that when someone paints little panties on their bare, marble arses?)

“Canceleed – agent suck” (Who ever said introspection is overrated?)

“Lush on gate” (Wait for it...yep, lush just hit floor.)

“Bring the city into your home” (Like when the LAPD choppers circle overhead with their spotlights frying all living creatures?)

Okay, then just tell me you’re an only child…

“Private and ga”  (Uh, hello? Chest paddles, anyone? )

“Flos now finished” (You must be Flo…)

“Erotic plants” (Let me guess – they slither on poles?)

“Bald touches everywhere” (That’s what they say about Bruce Willis on coke.)

This week’s shocker:

“Presenting the Tajma Hall of Leases” (Presenting the idiot savant of all agents.)

 

That’s all until next week, folks. Spell and Sell! 

For more real estate humor, please visit Gwen at www.sherlockofhomes.blogspot.com/ or Agent Genius. For all your real estate needs, please go to www.LAhomesite.com.  

 
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Rainmaker
209,439
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Derek, be sure to send them to me. I need some from your lovely neck of the woods!
Jan 27, 2012 05:26 PM #24
Rainmaker
905,737
Jane Peters
Power Brokers Int'l - Los Angeles, CA
Connecting you to the L.A. real estate scene

Thank you for taking over for me when I visit the Tajma Hall to look at the erotic plants, Gwen.  The image is now totally ruined for me.

Jan 27, 2012 08:11 PM #25
Rainmaker
467,562
Patty Da Silva, Davie, Southwest Ranches Cooper City, Plantation, Weston, REALTOR
BROKER of Green Realty Properties® - 954-667-7253 - Davie, FL
Top Listing Broker

Gwen,

Do you think the "Bald" touched Matt's keyhole to try to find the key?

 

Jan 27, 2012 08:36 PM #26
Rainmaker
954,352
Donna Foerster
Cherry Creek Properties, LLC - Parker, CO
Metro Denver Real Estate Agent

Gotta love starting the weekend with some funnies.  Thanks Gwen.  It's been a LONG week for me, so I'm happy to be sitting here laughing and smiling.  Goodness, some people really need to proofread!

Jan 27, 2012 09:38 PM #27
Rainmaker
209,439
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

But Jane, aren't you glad I'll be covering for you instead of Flo...or Kim and her infamous wart?

Jan 27, 2012 11:10 PM #28
Rainmaker
209,439
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Patty, I just don't want to even think about what touched Matt's keyhole...but I'm guessing that it was Flo. No wonder she's finished.

Jan 27, 2012 11:12 PM #29
Rainmaker
209,439
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Donna, I am so happy I could put a smile on your face. Have a great weekend!

Jan 27, 2012 11:13 PM #30
Ambassador
1,576,229
Christine Donovan
Donovan Blatt Realty - Costa Mesa, CA
Broker/Attorney 800-610-7253 DRE01267479 - Costa M

Gwen - Your twist on their turn of phrase always makes me smile.

Jan 28, 2012 01:27 AM #31
Rainer
237,553
Janet Jones
Just Your Style Interiors, LLC - Kihei, HI
Home Staging, Interior Redesign Kihei, Maui, Hawaii

Hi Gwen--another delighted and terrifically funny group of bloopers.  I so love Fridays!!!!

Jan 28, 2012 01:40 AM #32
Rainmaker
209,439
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Christine, Thank you. Most who know me would agree - I am definitely twisted!

Jan 28, 2012 04:51 AM #33
Rainmaker
209,439
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

JANET, I SO LOVE HEARING FROM YOU. I HOPE THE LAUGHS STAY WITH YOU ALL WEEK!

Jan 28, 2012 04:53 AM #34
Rainmaker
827,100
Lyn Sims
RE/MAX Suburban - Schaumburg IL Real Estate - Northwest Suburbs of Chicago - Schaumburg, IL
Schaumburg Homes

As usual, no dictionaries or common sense to be scene? seen?

Jan 28, 2012 08:51 AM #35
Rainmaker
467,562
Patty Da Silva, Davie, Southwest Ranches Cooper City, Plantation, Weston, REALTOR
BROKER of Green Realty Properties® - 954-667-7253 - Davie, FL
Top Listing Broker

Gwen... are you sure Matt is not your old boyfriend from NJ?

Jan 29, 2012 06:47 PM #36
Rainmaker
209,439
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Lyn, the answer is know, I mean no :)

Jan 29, 2012 09:16 PM #37
Rainmaker
209,439
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

No, Patty - Bon Jovi is :)

Jan 29, 2012 09:17 PM #38
Rainmaker
467,562
Patty Da Silva, Davie, Southwest Ranches Cooper City, Plantation, Weston, REALTOR
BROKER of Green Realty Properties® - 954-667-7253 - Davie, FL
Top Listing Broker

I knew I liked you cause of your great taste in guys Gwen.

(LOL)

 

Jan 29, 2012 10:26 PM #39
Rainmaker
209,439
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Patty, then I'm glad I didn't say Andy Dick :-)

Jan 30, 2012 01:45 AM #40
Rainmaker
467,562
Patty Da Silva, Davie, Southwest Ranches Cooper City, Plantation, Weston, REALTOR
BROKER of Green Realty Properties® - 954-667-7253 - Davie, FL
Top Listing Broker

Gwen, me too!! I would not think of you the same way.

Bon Jovi <3 <3 <3

Jan 30, 2012 11:12 AM #41
Rainmaker
209,439
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Patty, you little groupie! :)

Jan 30, 2012 04:26 PM #42
Rainmaker
467,562
Patty Da Silva, Davie, Southwest Ranches Cooper City, Plantation, Weston, REALTOR
BROKER of Green Realty Properties® - 954-667-7253 - Davie, FL
Top Listing Broker

I'm little in size but very big in the Bon Jovi groupiness!

Jan 30, 2012 09:39 PM #43
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Gwen Banta

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