You can say toe-may-to, and I can say toe-mah-toe, but we both need to spell it properly unless we want to come off like morons, right? Well, you decide. The MLS apparently has come out with a new dictionary I didn’t know about: The MLS Garble Edition.
Read it and weep:
"Real germ” (Uh, pet name for your ex?)
“Retaining wall shited” (You would, too, if you were hanging onto a California hillside during a 6.7 shaker.)
“Recently samblasted” (A description of my home after my Uncle Sam eats cabbage.)
“Won bedroom” (What one is left with after a Hollywood divorce.)
“Hat property” (You must be referring to those towers Princess Beatrice sports on her royal noggin.)
“Dog seltzer” (A popular beverage for dogs with hang-overs.)
You Say Tomato, I say…
“Minor carpeting” (Too young for shag?)
“Miner work needed” (The helmet with the light and the canary were a dead giveaway.)
“Pocked listing” (I hear Proactive is very effective for that.)
“New constriction” (Have you tried a Fleet enema?)
‘Roamin shades” (Is that like roamin’ black-outs when the electric company jacks us around?)
“Former home of famous tart” (Paris? Lindsey? Liberace?)
Auto-Fill Blooper of the Week
“For those with disturbing taste.” (Intoned my mother when I brought my ex home…)
Even Webster Didn’t Plan For This!
“Watch head, ponch hangs low ” (Maybe Ponch should invest in a jock strap…)
“New irritation” (That’s what happens when your ponch hits the pavement.)
Thanks to Patty DaSilva and Jane Peters for their hilarious contributions this week. That’s it, friends. I need to rest my shattered psyche now. Remember – Spell and Sell!