Buyer’s Remorse

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Island Style Realty Inc. RB-19250

                                                                                     Home Buyers 

One of the things we have all faced is buyer's remorse.  Buying a home is extremely stressful for most clients.  We in the profession who do this on a daily basis can easily treat the process of buying a home like a routine act.  It may be for us, but not for our buyers.  This is the biggest thing they will buy in their life in most cases.

Did they get the perfect home?  Did they get it at the right price?  How will they ever make those huge mortgage payments?  What if something bad happens like the roof leaks.  Being renters they never had to deal with things like that, they just called the landlord.

This process is quite scary for many folks.  As REALTORS® we not only help our clients find a property and draw up contracts, we need to take away the pain of purchasing.  Being part sales person, part psychologist and part trouble shooter, I pride myself on making the process of buying a home as painless as possible for my clients.

One thing I learned early on is to never push a buyer.  The worst thing you can do is push a buyer into making a decision that they will regret and possibly pull out of later.  When representing a buyer patience is a virtue. 

In the last week I have had a couple of clients who reminded me of that. 

The first found a home they liked and decided to put in an offer.  The offer was accepted verbally.  A day later the buyers changed their mind before the counter offer for some housekeeping issues could be signed.  I went over in my mind what had happened and questioned if I did anything that may have pushed them into a decision they were not comfortable with.  To the best of my recollection I did not, but will definitely be even more sensitive in the future.  The stress given to the sellers is quite unfortunate.  They thought they sold their property that had been on the market for a long time.  I felt real bad for them, as I completely understand how disappointed they must be.  Not to mention the poor listing agent who has worked so hard to sell the property.  The good news was they pulled out up front, and not after the sellers had their property off the market for a period of time.  I am following up with my clients, but trying to give them the needed space to allow them to decide how they want to proceed from here.

The second client saw a couple of properties they liked.  We went back two more times to look at one.  We will be presenting an offer on that one.  The lesson here was that they needed more time to make their decision.  By giving them the needed dwell time they were able to sell themselves on which was the perfect home for them.  I am convinced they will love this home and if I do everything correct they will be a great source of future referrals.

One of the great lessons I have learned in this business is to let the clients tell you which homes they like and not the other way around.  A great tip my broker gave me when I started in the business was to let the client walk ahead of you and watch for their reactions and listen to their comments.  Give them a little space.  Of course I point out features and possible red flags, but I try to let them take it in first.

Always remember they are the ones who will have to live there and pay the bills not you.

Posted by

 

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Randy L. Prothero, REALTOR®

Principal Broker, ABR, AHWD, CRS, e-PRO, GRI, MRP, SFR

Island Style Realty Inc.

Team Leader - "The Prothero Group"

Randy Prothero is well established as an expert in working with military / VA clients and first time home buyers.  His home seller's (listing) campaign is one of the most aggressive marketing programs in the area.

Based out of Mililani, Hawaii. Randy services the island of Oahu (Honolulu County) Performs mediations and ombudsman services for the Board of Realtors.  To improve overall professionalism in his area Randy also offers classes for real estate agents. 

www.HawaiiRandy.comOahu (Honolulu County) Property Search  Hawaii Military Relocations

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Rainmaker
574,889
Neal Bloom
Keller Williams Properties, Weston FL - Weston, FL
Realtor CRS-Weston FL Real Estate

Randy,

When I show homes to people ..in no way will I ever pressure them into something unless they are fully comfortable...no one wants a deal to fall through do to second thoughts and I want my clients to be happy in their new surroundings.

Dec 25, 2007 07:09 AM #14
Rainmaker
1,013,262
Gary L. Waters, Broker Owner Waters Realty of Brevard, LLC
Waters Realty of Brevard, LLC - Melbourne, FL
Personal Service, always.
Nice post, Randy. I have always let the house sell itself. I may ask the questions but the buyer decides - totally!
Dec 25, 2007 07:36 AM #15
Rainmaker
1,440,888
Tom Braatz
Re/Max Realty 100 262-377-1459 - Oconomowoc, WI
Waukesha County Realtor Real Estate agent,Waukesha

Randy

I have been there. Have you ever worked on a large commercial building where people wanted to start a business in it, and out of no where the remorse sets in? That gives you a feeling like concrete in your stomach.

Happy Holidays

Tom Braatz

Dec 25, 2007 08:44 AM #16
Rainmaker
623,209
Randy Prothero
Island Style Realty Inc. - Mililani, HI
Hawaii REALTOR, (808) 384-5645

Maggie - I have been through it more than a few times with clients.  I am sure in the end they will work out their fears.

Latonia - Ocean Pointe is seeing softening prices.  A lot of new development is competing with the resale market.  I am not sure how far along they are with the marina.  I will have to take a look the next time I am over there.

Nancy - I use the phrase a lot.  The decision is ultimately theirs.  I can only give them the data and point out possible red flags; to better help them make an informed decision.

Dec 25, 2007 12:18 PM #17
Ambassador
1,032,801
Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Century 21 Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI
(RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE
Very good advise Randy. Sometime, no matter what they get cold feet. I know you took those first buyers out a couple of times and they really seemed like they were all ready to move forward. In any case, you're a great agent and did your best.
Dec 25, 2007 12:21 PM #18
Ambassador
1,032,801
Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Century 21 Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI
(RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE
P.S. Sorry I had to send Gary out and that I couldn't come outside last night...I would have scared you all hehe:) No makeup...in my jammies....  Thanks for dropping by and thank you to you and your family!
Dec 25, 2007 12:23 PM #19
Rainmaker
623,209
Randy Prothero
Island Style Realty Inc. - Mililani, HI
Hawaii REALTOR, (808) 384-5645

Jesse and Kathy - Since losing all this weight I do not keep candy around anymore.  I may have to find a substitute for M&Ms.

Jeff - I have seen that also.  If we take care of the buyers and they buy a home, why would an agent or a loan officer care which one?  If they are not going to buy, wouldn't they prefer it happens up front and not in the middle of the process?

Jennifer - If there is too much inventory.  It may also be the kid in the candy store syndrome also.

Dec 25, 2007 12:27 PM #20
Rainmaker
623,209
Randy Prothero
Island Style Realty Inc. - Mililani, HI
Hawaii REALTOR, (808) 384-5645

Neal - That is an approach of a true professional.

Gary - That is the safest way.

Tom - I do not do commercial, but can feel your pain.

Dec 25, 2007 12:29 PM #21
Rainmaker
623,209
Randy Prothero
Island Style Realty Inc. - Mililani, HI
Hawaii REALTOR, (808) 384-5645

Sally - Thank you for the kind words.

P.S. That is the chance you take when you come unannounced.

Dec 25, 2007 12:31 PM #22
Rainmaker
592,629
Lisa Hill
Florida Property Experts - Daytona Beach, FL
Daytona Beach Real Estate
I agree that we should never push, but verbal offers are the fastest way to have the whole thing fall apart.
Dec 25, 2007 04:05 PM #23
Rainmaker
286,032
LaNita Cates
REMAX of Joliet - Joliet, IL

I actually tell my first-time homebuyers that they will go through the jitters and different emotions and that is is perfectly normal. I tell them they will be excited and then feel sick and then excited, then sick. They laugh but every single time, they tell me they are so nervous they can throw up. I laugh and remind them what I told them. They tend to laugh and agree. I ask them "are you 100% sure" and if they say yes, I tell them let's move forward. If they say they aren't sure, I don't push them but ask what they feel are holding them back.  I try to get all of this done before making offers. I know it won't always work for me but I try.

Dec 25, 2007 07:00 PM #24
Rainmaker
623,209
Randy Prothero
Island Style Realty Inc. - Mililani, HI
Hawaii REALTOR, (808) 384-5645

Lisa - In this case we had a written offer.  The sellers were in other states and needed to counter only for housekeeping.   My clients accepted verbally so we could make it easier to get the documents back and forth and to escrow before the Christmas shut down.

LaNita - That is a good practice.  It also good to lighten before it becomes a stressful situation.

Dec 25, 2007 10:15 PM #25
Ambassador
1,137,583
Jim Crawford
RE/MAX Paramount Properties - Atlanta, GA
Jim Crawford Atlanta Realtor - Atlanta Real Estate

Randy great list and comments!  Well done!  I remember moving to Atlanta area (from New York Originally) and a seasoned sales agent told us the worse thing that you could do to a buyer client is patronize them. In other words act as if you know what is best for them.  Buyers resent that and will move on!

Dec 26, 2007 08:34 AM #26
Rainmaker
623,209
Randy Prothero
Island Style Realty Inc. - Mililani, HI
Hawaii REALTOR, (808) 384-5645
Jim - Good advice.
Dec 26, 2007 02:43 PM #27
Rainmaker
605,814
Sharon Simms
Coastal Properties Group International - Saint Petersburg, FL
St. Pete FL - CRS CIPS CLHMS RSPS
So true, Randy. Never make their decisions for them. Noone wants you to sell them anything - they do want you to help them buy.
Dec 26, 2007 07:40 PM #28
Rainmaker
623,209
Randy Prothero
Island Style Realty Inc. - Mililani, HI
Hawaii REALTOR, (808) 384-5645
Sharon - I agree, they will know when they find the home they love.
Dec 26, 2007 08:49 PM #29
Rainmaker
210,923
Lucky Lang
Mel Foster Co. - Davenport, IA
SRES, Davenport, Iowa Real Estate

Randy,

I had a buyer once who got so nervous she got sick to her stomach.....literally!  Yes, it IS a very important time for them but I've learned to try to make it a fun time to ease their concerns and jitters.

Good points here, Randy!

Aloha,

Lucky :) 

Dec 27, 2007 07:27 AM #30
Rainmaker
162,516
Suzanne Sands
Pavao Real Estate - Somerset, MA
Somerset MA Real Estate

Hi Randy,

I love working with first time home buyers! You are so right it takes time and patience, in this market more than ever. They have so many choices, they want to make sure the one they purchase is right! Great post, my friend. :)

Dec 27, 2007 07:46 AM #31
Ambassador
1,861,547
Jeff Dowler CRS
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
Carlsbad CA Homes for Sale (760) 840-1360

Great points to keep in mind, especailly with first timers. I always counsel them on the possiblity of these and other feelings during the process and that this normal, and to be expected. I think it's important to be sure we keep in mind that this IS a difficult and scary process for them if they have not been through it before (and even if they have), even if they seem comfortable.

Jeff     

Dec 27, 2007 08:40 AM #32
Rainmaker
623,209
Randy Prothero
Island Style Realty Inc. - Mililani, HI
Hawaii REALTOR, (808) 384-5645

Lucky - That is pretty nervous.

Suzanne - The good thing is we can always find them the perfect home for their needs, being there is some selection.

Jeff - Very true.

Dec 27, 2007 03:47 PM #33
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Rainmaker
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Randy Prothero

Hawaii REALTOR, (808) 384-5645
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