Buyer’s Remorse

Real Estate Broker Owner with Island Style Realty Inc. RB-19250

                                                                                     Home Buyers 

One of the things we have all faced is buyer's remorse.  Buying a home is extremely stressful for most clients.  We in the profession who do this on a daily basis can easily treat the process of buying a home like a routine act.  It may be for us, but not for our buyers.  This is the biggest thing they will buy in their life in most cases.

Did they get the perfect home?  Did they get it at the right price?  How will they ever make those huge mortgage payments?  What if something bad happens like the roof leaks.  Being renters they never had to deal with things like that, they just called the landlord.

This process is quite scary for many folks.  As REALTORS® we not only help our clients find a property and draw up contracts, we need to take away the pain of purchasing.  Being part sales person, part psychologist and part trouble shooter, I pride myself on making the process of buying a home as painless as possible for my clients.

One thing I learned early on is to never push a buyer.  The worst thing you can do is push a buyer into making a decision that they will regret and possibly pull out of later.  When representing a buyer patience is a virtue. 

In the last week I have had a couple of clients who reminded me of that. 

The first found a home they liked and decided to put in an offer.  The offer was accepted verbally.  A day later the buyers changed their mind before the counter offer for some housekeeping issues could be signed.  I went over in my mind what had happened and questioned if I did anything that may have pushed them into a decision they were not comfortable with.  To the best of my recollection I did not, but will definitely be even more sensitive in the future.  The stress given to the sellers is quite unfortunate.  They thought they sold their property that had been on the market for a long time.  I felt real bad for them, as I completely understand how disappointed they must be.  Not to mention the poor listing agent who has worked so hard to sell the property.  The good news was they pulled out up front, and not after the sellers had their property off the market for a period of time.  I am following up with my clients, but trying to give them the needed space to allow them to decide how they want to proceed from here.

The second client saw a couple of properties they liked.  We went back two more times to look at one.  We will be presenting an offer on that one.  The lesson here was that they needed more time to make their decision.  By giving them the needed dwell time they were able to sell themselves on which was the perfect home for them.  I am convinced they will love this home and if I do everything correct they will be a great source of future referrals.

One of the great lessons I have learned in this business is to let the clients tell you which homes they like and not the other way around.  A great tip my broker gave me when I started in the business was to let the client walk ahead of you and watch for their reactions and listen to their comments.  Give them a little space.  Of course I point out features and possible red flags, but I try to let them take it in first.

Always remember they are the ones who will have to live there and pay the bills not you.

Posted by



Randy L. Prothero, REALTOR®

Principal Broker, ABR, AHWD, CRS, e-PRO, GRI, MRP, SFR

Island Style Realty Inc.

Team Leader - "The Prothero Group"

Randy Prothero is well established as an expert in working with military / VA clients and first time home buyers.  His home seller's (listing) campaign is one of the most aggressive marketing programs in the area.

Based out of Mililani, Hawaii. Randy services the island of Oahu (Honolulu County) Performs mediations and ombudsman services for the Board of Realtors.  To improve overall professionalism in his area Randy also offers classes for real estate agents. 

www.HawaiiRandy.comOahu (Honolulu County) Property Search  Hawaii Military Relocations


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buyers remorse

Comments 33 New Comment

Randy Prothero
Hawaii REALTOR, (808) 384-5645
Island Style Realty Inc.
Sharon - I agree, they will know when they find the home they love.
December 26, 2007 08:49 PM
Lucky Lang
SRES, Davenport, Iowa Real Estate
Mel Foster Co.


I had a buyer once who got so nervous she got sick to her stomach.....literally!  Yes, it IS a very important time for them but I've learned to try to make it a fun time to ease their concerns and jitters.

Good points here, Randy!


Lucky :) 

December 27, 2007 07:27 AM
Suzanne Sands
Somerset MA Real Estate
Pavao Real Estate

Hi Randy,

I love working with first time home buyers! You are so right it takes time and patience, in this market more than ever. They have so many choices, they want to make sure the one they purchase is right! Great post, my friend. :)

December 27, 2007 07:46 AM
Jeff Dowler CRS
Carlsbad CA Homes for Sale (760) 840-1360
Solutions Real Estate

Great points to keep in mind, especailly with first timers. I always counsel them on the possiblity of these and other feelings during the process and that this normal, and to be expected. I think it's important to be sure we keep in mind that this IS a difficult and scary process for them if they have not been through it before (and even if they have), even if they seem comfortable.


December 27, 2007 08:40 AM
Randy Prothero
Hawaii REALTOR, (808) 384-5645
Island Style Realty Inc.

Lucky - That is pretty nervous.

Suzanne - The good thing is we can always find them the perfect home for their needs, being there is some selection.

Jeff - Very true.

December 27, 2007 03:47 PM

Randy Prothero

Hawaii REALTOR, (808) 384-5645
Ask me for a free valuation of your Oahu Home.
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