"Widelife in area" - Trimming the MLS Fat

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887


 If selling houses is like selling dreams, then welcome to my nightmare. Check out these hilarious bloopers that may convince buyers NOT to buy a home:

Interpreter, Please?

“Iv covered walls” (So you're selling Cedars Sinai?)

“No night hors” (Try telling that to the gals working Hollywood Blvd.)

“Wall rocks in kitch” (Those crazy Italians must be trying to unload Pompeii.)

“Wired for cabal” (Epitaph on Saddam's Headstone.)

“Pls see tim change” (May I take photos while he does so?)

Did You Pay For This Ad?

“Vacant lad” (Good for you – I highly endorse self-assessment.)

“Book runs through backyard” (Hmmm, finally some writing that has legs…)

“WiFe included” (I suppose selling her is cheaper than divorce…)

“Has good resistance” (Whined the Wehrmacht pansies when ordered to invade Paris during WWII.)

Get Out of Sales

“Lots of widelife in area” (Welcome sign at Fran’s Fulminating-Fat Camp.)

“Not open on Faters day” (Why, will everyone be chowing down at Fran’s?)

“Orange, tambourines” (Pssst - Sister Sunshine – your 2nd batch of brownies is burning.)

“Drawing for spat day” (Proudly offered by Phil Phlegm and the American Tobacco Chewers Association.)

Being Free Doesn’t Mean It’s Good

“Free appraisal of your hoe” (Under “Other Talents” on Elliott Spitzer’s resume.)

 

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell Well And Sell!

For more real estate humor, please visit Gwen at www.sherlockofhomes.blogspot.com/ or Agent Genius. For all your real estate needs, please go to www.LAhomesite.com.

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  1. Mike Cooper 06/10/2012 04:34 PM
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Show All Comments
Rainmaker
206,546
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Welcome back, Tom - I'm so happy to share the laughter!

June 08, 2012 10:24 AM
Rainmaker
206,546
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Debbie, thanks for reading, and have a glorious weekend.

Phil, both I think, and so much more!

Dick, there's no hippie like an old hippie.

Jay, good idea to pass on the wife - she may be Fat Mama.

June 08, 2012 10:31 AM
Rainmaker
206,546
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Conrad, I'm not that clever, but thanks for your confidence in me! Unfortunately, stupidity always finds its own voice!

June 08, 2012 10:34 AM
Rainmaker
206,546
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Dorie, welcome back!

Kathryn, wait until you see a few of the bloopers I found for next Friday!

June 08, 2012 10:35 AM
Rainmaker
206,546
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Marti, thanks as always for your support and great comments. If I ever find the time to write a book, I'm sure I'll have enough material for a series. Stupidity is the gift that keeps on giving!

June 08, 2012 10:38 AM
Rainmaker
206,546
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Steven, I just love the word "thereon"!

June 08, 2012 10:39 AM
Rainmaker
856,175
Donna Foerster
Metro Denver Real Estate Agent
Cherry Creek Properties, LLC

Gwen~ Lots of good ones this week.  I like the "widelife" sightings!  I'm sure that will help to sell the house!

June 08, 2012 11:00 AM
Rainmaker
206,546
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Donna, something better help sell that house, because I don't have much confidence in that agent!

June 08, 2012 11:23 AM
Rainmaker
1,217,960
Jay Markanich
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC

If the WiFe included with the house is indeed Fat Mama and offers the whole enchilada I will pass.  That would take some platter!

June 08, 2012 02:39 PM
Rainmaker
206,546
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Ah, but oh so spicy, Jay!

June 08, 2012 04:54 PM
Rainmaker
582,897
Susan Neal
Fair Oaks CA & Sacramento Area Real Estate Broker
RE/MAX Gold, Fair Oaks

Hi Gwen - Every one of your lists and comments is funnier than the last one.  I see a lot of crazy stuff too, but maybe I'm not as organized as you to make a note when I see them.  Later I can't remember where they were (or I've blocked them from my memory).

June 08, 2012 08:54 PM
Rainmaker
206,546
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Susan, I write them down when I see them, or I cannot remember them either. I think our minds try to block out the horror :-)

June 08, 2012 08:59 PM
Rainmaker
1,023,373
Lisa Von Domek
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!
Lisa Von Domek & Associates LLC, Real Estate Broker/Associate with Real Living Real Estate Group www.LisaVon.com

Hello Gwen,

Not sure which one I like the best (they are all great)...but my two favorites have to be “WiFe included” and “Orange, tambourines”

June 09, 2012 11:41 AM
Rainmaker
206,546
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Lisa, I have actually seen "Wife included" several times! And "tambourines" was hysterical. Don't you love auto-fill?

June 09, 2012 11:59 AM
Rainmaker
773,891
Mike Cooper
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Pro
Winchester Real Estate Sales, Cornerstone Business Group Inc

And momma said marrying that hoe was not good for me.  Hey, an appraisal runs $350-$450 nowadays.   Guess I showed her who be the smart money man in the family.  

June 09, 2012 07:58 PM
Rainer
91,091
Tanja Cisliek
Future Home Realty

Fun! - Love a whitty, funny post like yours. Thank you for the smile, I'm sure we've all been there, done that, one time or another.

June 10, 2012 04:42 PM
Rainmaker
206,546
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Mike, you still should have listened to your mama. The money you saved on the appraisal my go to doctor bills when your mamma slaps you upside the head.

June 10, 2012 04:52 PM
Rainmaker
206,546
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Tanja, check back in every Friday for the blooper posts and all the pre-weekend fun!

June 10, 2012 04:55 PM
Rainmaker
442,467
Patty Da Silva, Davie, Southwest Ranches Cooper City, Plantation, Weston, REALTOR
Top Listing Broker
BROKER of Green Realty Properties® - 954-667-7253

Gwen,

“Pls see tim change”... before I would agree to this, I would need to know which Tim they are talking about.

June 11, 2012 05:51 PM
Rainmaker
206,546
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Patty, let's just hope it's not Tim Burton!

June 11, 2012 06:17 PM
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Rainmaker
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Gwen Banta

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