A New Disease Spreads With Little Hope For A Cure

Real Estate Agent with Cherimie Crane & Associates, Ballenger Realty

Insurmountable pain delivered by the evil itches of chicken pox, incredulous blisters caused by continuous use of crutches, and the artic blasts of ice applied for back pain have all attempted to prepare me with endurance and stamina in dealing with life’s stem of certain unwelcomed and unavoidable thorns. There aren’t many bones I haven’t broken, twisted or otherwise overused. Fortunately, the common cold isn’t all that common for me. Growing up playing with large farm animals, jumping from barns, and being used as a human cannon ball to scare snakes out of swimming holes, I consider myself to be somewhat resilient.

There is a new ailment that pales my powers of prevention. No amount of orange juice, zinc or Mamma’s grits can tame the symptoms or shorten the suffrage of the formidable Notification Suffocation. This new disease brings forth challenges that modern medicine did not predict and simply cannot treat. Attacking the very core of any unsuspecting victim in unimaginable ways at tremendously inopportune times, Notification Suffocation spreads with warp like speed and leaves a path of certain devastation.

As a nondiscriminatory predator, it affects women and men. Paralyzing them both with a varying degree of shame, guilt, shock and reducing even the most astute attention span to that of a hyped up honey badger; it strikes with piercing preciseness. Symptoms in women can be spotted quite easily. Any female suffering with bouts of Notification Suffocation will exhibit obvious signs of distress. Women all over the world are dropping iPhones in toilets, typing on Blackberries in beauty shops, and utilizing iPads to photograph food, fashion and unfortunate friends. Their faces show signs of make-up application gone awry in an attempt to apply mascara while iMessaging. Their outfits are a desperate cry for help that portrays dressing while texting and their fingernails show wear from incessant updating on Facebook.

Men are not immune to the crippling effects, the outward signs or the immediate hazards. All across land and sea, obscenities are being shrilled at drowned Droids, backed over Blackberries, and irreplaceable iPhones. Fisherman are baiting while blabbing, contractors are trimming while texting, and business men all over the world are updating their profiles during presentations. The results are astounding and the adverse effect on production of any kind is staggering.

I too suffer from Notification Suffocation. Barely being able to compose a complete sentence without the desire to “lol” or “wth”, my conversation skills have fallen prey to a mere forty words or less regime. It has progressed to the point of text trauma and dropped call drama. Any chime, buzz, ring or rattle; with robot precision I respond to even the most unnecessary notification. The microwave goes off and I check my phone. The doorbell rings and I check my phone. It is a sad existence.

In a world of technological relationships, basic interaction becomes difficult, face to face second to Facebook, and eye to eye replaced by iPhone to iPad. I do miss the days of coffee shop conversations, waiting in line introductions, and real life smiles at real life updates. We can only hope to combat this illness with human interaction, complete sentences, and an ability to resist answering in the shower. We were able to put a man on the moon; possibly we can find a way to put down our phones.


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Whether you are buying or selling Real Estate in Beaufort South Carolina, We know Beaufort. Our little coastal town has something for everyone.





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  1. Wayne and Jean Marie Zuhl 06/30/2012 06:47 AM
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Richard & Beth Witt
Broker/Owner RE/MAX Wittney Estates Long Island NY
RE/MAX Wittney Estates 516-795-6900 www.longislandrealestatesearch.com

This is so right on... soooo cute... 

June 25, 2012 10:50 AM
Melinda (Mel) Peterson
The Naked Blogger 541-659-1620
Real Estate Cafe LLC

Wow... you have it too?  I thought I was the only one ;)))  Once again, you have wow'd us with your creative flare for putting human thoughts into formidable words that pop off the page... you should be writing for a living Miss Cherimie!

June 25, 2012 12:04 PM
Eric Michael
Metro Detroit Real Estate Professional 734.564.1519
Remerica Integrity, Realtors®, Northville, MI

Cherimie, this pretty much sums up just about everyone under the age of 50. And some that are over 50. Unfortunately, this is only going to get worse, not better. I use full, complete sentences when I text, including proper spelling and punctuation. I'm trying to hold on as long as I can.

June 25, 2012 01:40 PM
Dick & Sandy Beals
Wilmington Real Estate 4U Wilmington, NC
WOW, this is great! U have a gift...lol Dick Beals
June 25, 2012 04:22 PM
Anonymous #6

Extremely well put! My "crackberry" and I are best friends. : )


June 25, 2012 04:30 PM
Anonymous #7
Jennifer Swanger

Today at Home Depot, I saw a man trying to talk on his cell and walk on crutches, then a child (9 or 10) whose dad had to go around the car and open the door for him because the child couldn't put down his phone long enough to do it himself......I think we've ODed on our phones!  Sad part is, I'm probably just as bad. :(

June 25, 2012 05:03 PM
Wayne and Jean Marie Zuhl
The Last Names You'll Ever Need in Real Estate
Hallmark Realtors

Love this, Cherimie! It's amazing how addictive these things are - and I've been known to break my own "NO PHONES AT DINNER!" rule!

June 30, 2012 06:45 AM
Leslie G. Rojohn
GRI, ABR ~ MoonDancer Realty
MoonDancer Realty

Fortunately, I seem to have been born with a natural immunity.  I still have and barely use the cell phone I bought 9years ago.  It has a pull up antenae and everything.  Somehow I breeze through life and business just fine.  If anyone is looking for a cure, they may want to get a blood sample from me and extract my antibodies.

June 30, 2012 07:55 AM
Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome
Broker/ Owner HomeRome Realty-Author "Real Estate the Rome Way" 410-530-2400
NS is spreading with lightning speed,is very contagious and I see no cure in the immediate future. Well deserved featured post! Margaret
June 30, 2012 09:07 PM
Bob & Carolin Benjamin
East Phoenix Arizona Homes
Benjamin Realty LLC

Cute post -- and so right on ---- all the best.

June 30, 2012 09:10 PM
Dave Halpern
Louisville Short Sale Expert
Keller Williams Realty Louisville East (502) 664-7827

The salesman at Best Buy told me that women use the extended warranty on cell phones much more than men because they frequently drop their phones in the toilet.

What's up with that?

June 30, 2012 09:28 PM
Mark Woodward
We bring the flooring store to your door
Floor Coverings International

OMG, this is so funny.  Very smart and creative (and dramatic) way of presenting this.  I love it.  Congrats on the feature.

July 01, 2012 03:30 AM
Emily Lowe
Nashville TN Realtor
The Lipman Group Sotheby's International Realty

This is hilarious!  My addiction to this notification suffocation has "grown for me" an extra appendage.  My hand looks mostly like a hand, but there is now a constant rectangular attachment to it.  I both hate and love the attachment.  It makes money for me and it wastes my time.  Balance is difficult with this new appendage.

July 01, 2012 04:57 AM
Sally K. & David L. Hanson
WI Realtors - Luxury - Short Sale - CDPE, REDS
Keller Williams 414-525-0563

so sad so true so techie....just mute

July 01, 2012 05:10 AM
Margaret Goss
Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate
Baird & Warner Real Estate

Someone I know was in the hospital emergency room and posted photos of herself and her doctor on Facebook while she was there!  There is no end to this madness and it will soon become "normal" - no cure needed because we'll all have it.

July 01, 2012 05:23 AM
Walter Sadowski NYS Licensed Associate Real Estate Broker
The Real Estate Resource
Cafe Realty

Cherimie... Is there a suggested cure or at least a remedy to ease the symptons???

July 01, 2012 05:55 AM
Paula McDonald
CHEVAUX Group ~ The Woodlands, TX 936-203-0279
Chevaux Group, PLLC

This is too cute!  Oh my how true it is though.  I find that I have to allow myself to have breaks from all of the technology.

July 01, 2012 05:59 AM
Michael Setunsky
Your Commercial Real Estate Link to Northern VA
Michael's Commercial LLC

Cherimie, I see this all the time. What did we do before cell phones?

July 01, 2012 06:14 AM
Chris and Dick Dovorany
Broker/Associate at Premiere Plus Realty
Homes for Sale in Naples, Bonita Springs and Estero, Florida

What a cleaver post.  I love you sense of humor.  Human interaction will fall by the wayside just as cursive has in our school.s

July 01, 2012 06:50 AM
Terrie Leighton
Reno Real Estate Agent
Ferrari-Lund ~ Reno's Premier Real Estate Company

I'm glad I clicked on this post first! It is Sunday and I have so many other things I need to get accomplished and should not be on my computer!!! A great reminder that there are so many important things and ways to communicate in real life!

You have such a gift Cherimie ~ I wish I could express my thoughts in the way you do! Always a pleasure reading your posts!

July 01, 2012 07:14 AM
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