Letting Go: The Hugs and Tears Involved in Passing the Deed

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Steele Group Realty BRE# 01474222

Letting Go: The Hugs and Tears Involved in Passing the Deed

 

 

A home, for 99% of homeowners, is not just an investment; it’s the picture frame and forum for your life.  So when it’s time to pass the deed to the next owner it is usually an emotional experience. 

 

Today I had the opportunity to share a truly rich experience, as the divorced mom, short sale seller, lovingly walked my buyer and I through the intricacies of managing the 3500 sq ft home and the 1 acre property, pool, Koi pond, and 9 hole putting green.  There were so many memories for her here, including weddings, a husband’s infidelities and the death of her son.  We both felt her need to just share.

 

Luckily, my buyer is my best friend and one of the most caring people in the world.  She genuinely wanted to listen to everything the seller had to say about the amazing plants and this unique environment she had created.  We fought back tears through most of it as the very beautiful and loving seller described all of the plants and the love and care of the Koi and the whole property.

 

As she pointed out, this home which she and her ex-husband had bought 10 years ago and meticulously upgraded was the focus of all that was good, and all that was not during that period.  Selling the home, she was letting go of so much, and we were part of that process.

 

The best part is that the seller honestly expressed her sincere pleasure that the home was going to my buyer….she knows that the home will be well loved and that the memories to come will be a new, positive chapter in the life of an exceptional property.

 

 

 

Ready to find your exceptional property in San Diego?  Just give me a call.  Work with a Realtor who really knows the market!

Posted by

Your Personal San Diego County Real Estate Consultant

                                                          619-846-9249

www.martikilby.com

http://insidesandiegoshortsales.com

Taking the "Stress" Out of Distressed Property Sales

       

 

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Ambassador
1,295,323
Praful Thakkar
Keller Williams Realty - Andover, MA
Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale

Marti, letting go is the best way to let in new thoughts. What's gone is not going to come back. It's nice of you and your friend/buyer to listen to her story.

 

June 26, 2012 10:41 PM #1
Rainmaker
677,110
David Shamansky
US Mortgages - David Shamansky - Highlands Ranch, CO
Creative, Aggresive & 560 FICO - OK, Colorado Mtgs

Wow not the post I expected but emtionally packed and found myself having to pause to regroup. I pray for you both for blessings and peace to find you in abundance

June 26, 2012 10:53 PM #2
Rainmaker
171,570
Marti Steele Kilby
Steele Group Realty - La Mesa, CA
Broker/Owner, San Diego, CA

Thank you both for your kind words.

June 27, 2012 07:04 AM #3
Ambassador
1,880,185
Chris Ann Cleland
Long & Foster REALTORS®, Gainesville, VA - Bristow, VA
Associate Broker, Northern VA

It's great when a Short Sale can close with the parties genuinely passing the torch, as was the case here.  Selling a home is emotional enough, but Short Sales are rarely what the Seller wants to be involved in.  So glad there was a warm fuzzy at the end for everyone.  Makes it so much easeir.

June 27, 2012 09:30 AM #4
Rainmaker
171,570
Marti Steele Kilby
Steele Group Realty - La Mesa, CA
Broker/Owner, San Diego, CA

Thanks Chris Ann.  It really is a good feeling for everyone involved.

June 27, 2012 07:52 PM #5
Rainer
83,887
Brad Baylor
ERA Coup Agency - Milton, PA

Marti - I usually encourage my sellers to NOT attend the settlement.  It is an emotional experience, most of the time.  I had one seller that insisted on being there and she broke down and cried afterward. 

June 28, 2012 07:02 AM #6
Ambassador
1,660,350
Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland
Broker/ Owner HomeRome Realty-Author "Real Estate the Rome Way" 410-530-2400 - Baltimore, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

We experience so many emotions in Real Estate. The most memorable was a young family who found their dream home at an unbelievable price and the seller with dark glasses and red eyes at the table. The buyers were very quiet and respected the seller's situation. 

It is an emotional roller coaster and we need to be aware and treat each situation withn sensitivity.

Margaret

June 28, 2012 07:33 AM #7
Rainmaker
1,240,579
Gene Riemenschneider
Home Point Real Estate - Brentwood, CA
Turning Houses into Homes

Sometimes it is hard to let go.  I still drive past an old home of mine and think about all my dreams for it that did not happen.

June 28, 2012 08:24 AM #8
Anonymous
Anonymous
Cindy Martin

Very touching, I am currently working with a seller who just lost his wife of 40 years.  It is difficult to tell someone you need to change your home into a house and remove certain items when they are going through so much.  But we will walk this together, and I will help him move on with all the wonderful memories going with him.  You see, his wife was also my friend.

June 28, 2012 09:24 AM #9
Rainmaker
808,413
Lyn Sims
RE/MAX Suburban - Schaumburg IL Real Estate - Northwest Suburbs of Chicago - Schaumburg, IL
Schaumburg Homes

When I was just over at my sellers getting the contract signed she broke down & began about all the happy memories in the house.  I was a little surprised because this has been in the planning for many years (retirement) but when the time finally came the seller couldn't handle it.  Each person reacts differently in these situations.

June 28, 2012 10:32 AM #10
Ambassador
537,822
Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Realtor (503)755-2905
Vernonia Realty - Vernonia, OR
"Your Gateway to the Lake" Birkenfeld Oregon

Marti, this was so beautifully written. We all have stories of angst that we could share, and I am thankful that this one had such a poetic outcome. You gave two people a precious gift. I came over to read this from Margaret Rome's piece.

Honestly, this should have been featured. I'm *suggesting*!

June 28, 2012 03:52 PM #11
Rainmaker
171,570
Marti Steele Kilby
Steele Group Realty - La Mesa, CA
Broker/Owner, San Diego, CA

Brad - I guess you have to read your clients carefully.  In CA we don't do official at the table closings, so it is actually unusual for the buyer adn seller to meet.  In this case, it was a positive experience for both parties.

Gene - your comment really hit home.  I have one of those too, except I avoid driving by....

Margaret - I totally understand as I was once that seller.

Cindy - I am so sorry for the lose of your friend.  Selling a home after the death of a spouse is perhaps the most heart wrenching.  It sounds like you will do a wonderful job for the husband.

Lyn - It is emotional.  No matter how much sense it might make financially your home, is your home and full of memories.

Gayle - Thank you so much for your kind comments and suggesting.  I really do think that this deal was meant to be and it is comforting to know that we made it happen. 

June 28, 2012 07:03 PM #12
Ambassador
1,660,350
Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland
Broker/ Owner HomeRome Realty-Author "Real Estate the Rome Way" 410-530-2400 - Baltimore, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

My latest post "emotional roller coaster" was inspired by you. 

Margaret

June 29, 2012 03:09 AM #13
Rainmaker
308,801
John DL Arendsen
TAG Real Estate Sales & Investments & ON THE LEVEL GC - Leucadia, CA
Real Estate Bkr, Factory Built home Dealer/Devlpr

That is indeed a very bitter sweet experience. The area sounds like it could be my next door neighbor except that everyone in our neighborhood has been there for a gazillion years and there's never been on move out or one divorce.

We're the newbies to the neighborhood and we've been there 32 years, had 8 weddings, a remembering Dad party for my Father, 32 Christmas parties, 32 Easter Sunday family reunions, super bowl parties, wine tastine gatherings in our wine cellar and the list goes on.

But I do relate. We could never sell our home and with any luck won't have to. But one never knows what the futue holds in store. So we will continue to cherish those special moments for as long as we can. The kids keep coming home and continue to plant their organic vegitable gardens and bring their children to play and romp. Great story. I welled up just reading it. Can't imagine what it would have been like having personally experienced it.

June 29, 2012 06:59 AM #14
Rainmaker
171,570
Marti Steele Kilby
Steele Group Realty - La Mesa, CA
Broker/Owner, San Diego, CA

Margaret - loved your post.

John - It sounds like you are in a happy place, literally!  So happy to hear that you cherish all those special moments.  Your comments put a smile in my heart.

June 29, 2012 07:16 AM #15
Rainmaker
532,567
Cynthia Larsen
Safe Haven Realty - Cotati, CA
Sonoma County Real Estate Broker

I've been to more than one closing where tears were being shed. Sometimes the physical part of memories are really hard to let go of.

June 29, 2012 11:10 AM #16
Rainmaker
629,804
Stephanie/Bob The Ruiz/Miller Team
Keller Williams Cornerstone Realty - Ocala, FL
The Ocala Dream Team

Hi Marti, when I got into the business I was told that buying or selling is one of 4 most emotionally stressful events in most people lives.

June 29, 2012 12:50 PM #17
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