"Walk to church's" - Foul MLS Listing Bloopers!

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887


There were a lot of laughable errors on this week’s MLS and in local real estate ads, friends. These were the best of the worst:

Food for Though.

“Walk to church’s” (For those who think salivation is their salvation.)

“This will swell fast” (That’s what I say about my a_ _ every time I eat chips.)

“Good valuu” (Best pick-up line ever used by Samir, the tandoori chicken.)

“Best dal in town” (Samir's rooster friend, commenting on all the tandoori chicken babes at Mumbai's Pick-a-Chick.)

Drink For Pleasure

“Plantation shurrere” (Need help extracting that Tequila worm from your windpipe?)

“Laker view” (The last image the Celtics see when peering through Kobe’s smoke.)

“Has guess house” (Methinks the agent is questionable, too.)

“New top soiled” (My guess is you also soiled your trousers...)

R & R

“Very rested and quiet area” (Um...the space between your ears?)

“White Tex around pool and deck” (First day of summer at the Houston Social Club.)

“This is the beast!” (Shouted drooling Larry thinking he had identified Sasquatch in a lineup.)

“Choose wither one” (Explanation of why Playmates hook up with Hugh Hefner.)

“Sirius buyers only” (Reason # 1 not to let Howard Stern type your listing remarks.)

Jaw Droppers of the Week

“Relax by the poop” (For those whose lives have turned to sh_t.)

“Many models to prick” (Grinned Keith to Mick backstage during the Steel Wheels tour.)

 

That’s it for this week, friends. Remember: Spell Well to Sell. Or is it “swell”?

For more real estate humor, please visit Gwen at www.sherlockofhomes.blogspot.com/ or Agent Genius. For all your real estate needs, please go to www.LAhomesite.com.

 
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Rainer
277,079
Steven Cook
- Pierce, King, Kitsap, Thurston, Mason Counties
No Longer Processing Mortgages.

Gwen -- and to think that these listings may be read in mixed company!  I am sure these agents are getting enormous turnouts of interested buyers - if for no other reason than to figure out what a “Plantation shurrere” is.   BTW -- isn't that first one possibly in violatin of the Fair Housing Act - as Rich Jacobson had a blog about it today.

Have a fantastic weekend!

June 29, 2012 10:20 AM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Marte, maybe the "built in" closet is the solution to the ubiquitous "walking closets" I see here in L.A.!

Debbie, I have been doing this so long that I am starting to "speaka the language." I am guessing that the agents intended to write "plantation shutters" and white Trex" respectively. But I'd believe anything...

Sally and David, you made my day! I love "SMELLCHECK," and I can think of a lot of people who could benefit by that!

Dorie, the sad part is that maybe they did :-)

Jay, I think the better choice is to avoid the white Texans :-)

 

June 29, 2012 11:12 AM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Valerie, thanks for reading, and thank you even more for suggesting. Be sure to subscribe, as I post the Blooper Blog every Friday.

June 29, 2012 11:13 AM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Kathryn, maybe they need to learn to read before they learn to proofread. Baby steps... :-)

Yes, Debbie...and embarrassing to all literate agents!

Donna, thank you. I think the summer heat and alcohol combination has killed a few more brain cells in the world of real estate.

Brenda, you may be right. Maybe we are laughing for no reason. Perhaps the house IS by the poop!

June 29, 2012 11:18 AM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Marti, I am so glad you were on my brain wave with that one. I could just picture the conversation between those two fabulous relics, so I took a chance that I wouldn't be censored. It was worth it!

June 29, 2012 11:22 AM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Yes, Steven - it's in violation of EVERYTHING - fair housing, ACLU, vegetarians, PETA...and The United Brotherhood of Chicken! 

June 29, 2012 11:25 AM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Lisa, there does seem to be a theme there, I agree. I wish I had caught that myself, you clever devil. The whereabouts of the guy with the soiling problem would certainly explain how the poop got there!

June 29, 2012 11:30 AM
Rainmaker
110,195
Ralph & Janet Henze
Ralph Henze Homes - RE/MAX Elite

Gwen, those are TOO ridiculous!  I can just imagine the look on the homeowner's face when they read the description of their house.  (You have me triple checking every listing we do now!)

Jan

June 29, 2012 01:49 PM
Rainmaker
999,243
Conrad Allen
Webster, Ma, Realtor
Re/Max Professional Associates

Hi Gwen.  Wow! No mercy for my aging Celtics.  What a minute.  Did the Lakers win the NBA championship?  No

June 29, 2012 02:17 PM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty
Jan, the homeowners may be as dumb as the agents - after all, they hired them :-)
June 29, 2012 02:44 PM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty
Conrad, my comment to both of your thoughts is: tick-tock...tick tock... :-)
June 29, 2012 02:46 PM
Rainmaker
1,217,094
Jay Markanich
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC

Question - are white Texans as butt fattening as chips?

;>)

Sorry, couldn't resist.

June 29, 2012 03:59 PM
Rainmaker
1,322,182
Charles Stallions
800-309-3414 - Pensacola, Pace or Gulf Breeze, Fl.
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services

I never see these in our MLS, we must have spell check or something but enjoyed the laugh

June 29, 2012 07:53 PM
Rainmaker
1,022,690
Lisa Von Domek
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!
Lisa Von Domek & Associates LLC, Real Estate Broker/Associate with Real Living Real Estate Group www.LisaVon.com

I am (once again) sharing your witty list at our sales meeting this week...we'll see how many others catch the "theme" LOL

Have a fabulous weekend!

June 30, 2012 02:08 PM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty
Jay, that depends on the size of their....hats :-)
June 30, 2012 03:10 PM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty
Charles, the submissions come from all over the United States, but the most come from large cities where there are more people who speak English as a second language. Thus, we have a lot more laughs with our local MLS!
June 30, 2012 03:16 PM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty
Lisa, thank you for sharing. I'm sure they will all catch the main theme – stupidity! :-)
June 30, 2012 03:20 PM
Ambassador
832,293
Connie Harvey
Realtor - Nashville TN Real Estate
Pilkerton Realtors

Gwen, As always, very funny! I've missed your posts!

July 03, 2012 09:38 AM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Connie, thanks so much for reading. I'm glad my insanity has paid off :-)

July 03, 2012 11:54 AM
Rainmaker
881,825
Jane Peters
Connecting you to the L.A. real estate scene
Power Brokers Int'l

I am in catch-up mode today. I will be getting a three-fer.  Isn't walk to churches a violation of the code of ethics?

July 20, 2012 12:25 PM
Anonymous
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Rainmaker
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Gwen Banta

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