"Walk to church's" - Foul MLS Listing Bloopers!

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887


There were a lot of laughable errors on this week’s MLS and in local real estate ads, friends. These were the best of the worst:

Food for Though.

“Walk to church’s” (For those who think salivation is their salvation.)

“This will swell fast” (That’s what I say about my a_ _ every time I eat chips.)

“Good valuu” (Best pick-up line ever used by Samir, the tandoori chicken.)

“Best dal in town” (Samir's rooster friend, commenting on all the tandoori chicken babes at Mumbai's Pick-a-Chick.)

Drink For Pleasure

“Plantation shurrere” (Need help extracting that Tequila worm from your windpipe?)

“Laker view” (The last image the Celtics see when peering through Kobe’s smoke.)

“Has guess house” (Methinks the agent is questionable, too.)

“New top soiled” (My guess is you also soiled your trousers...)

R & R

“Very rested and quiet area” (Um...the space between your ears?)

“White Tex around pool and deck” (First day of summer at the Houston Social Club.)

“This is the beast!” (Shouted drooling Larry thinking he had identified Sasquatch in a lineup.)

“Choose wither one” (Explanation of why Playmates hook up with Hugh Hefner.)

“Sirius buyers only” (Reason # 1 not to let Howard Stern type your listing remarks.)

Jaw Droppers of the Week

“Relax by the poop” (For those whose lives have turned to sh_t.)

“Many models to prick” (Grinned Keith to Mick backstage during the Steel Wheels tour.)

 

That’s it for this week, friends. Remember: Spell Well to Sell. Or is it “swell”?

For more real estate humor, please visit Gwen at www.sherlockofhomes.blogspot.com/ or Agent Genius. For all your real estate needs, please go to www.LAhomesite.com.

 
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Rainer
277,179
Steven Cook
No Longer Processing Mortgages. - Tacoma, WA
- Pierce, King, Kitsap, Thurston, Mason Counties

Gwen -- and to think that these listings may be read in mixed company!  I am sure these agents are getting enormous turnouts of interested buyers - if for no other reason than to figure out what a “Plantation shurrere” is.   BTW -- isn't that first one possibly in violatin of the Fair Housing Act - as Rich Jacobson had a blog about it today.

Have a fantastic weekend!

Jun 29, 2012 10:20 AM #13
Rainmaker
207,728
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Marte, maybe the "built in" closet is the solution to the ubiquitous "walking closets" I see here in L.A.!

Debbie, I have been doing this so long that I am starting to "speaka the language." I am guessing that the agents intended to write "plantation shutters" and white Trex" respectively. But I'd believe anything...

Sally and David, you made my day! I love "SMELLCHECK," and I can think of a lot of people who could benefit by that!

Dorie, the sad part is that maybe they did :-)

Jay, I think the better choice is to avoid the white Texans :-)

 

Jun 29, 2012 11:12 AM #14
Rainmaker
207,728
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Valerie, thanks for reading, and thank you even more for suggesting. Be sure to subscribe, as I post the Blooper Blog every Friday.

Jun 29, 2012 11:13 AM #15
Rainmaker
207,728
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Kathryn, maybe they need to learn to read before they learn to proofread. Baby steps... :-)

Yes, Debbie...and embarrassing to all literate agents!

Donna, thank you. I think the summer heat and alcohol combination has killed a few more brain cells in the world of real estate.

Brenda, you may be right. Maybe we are laughing for no reason. Perhaps the house IS by the poop!

Jun 29, 2012 11:18 AM #16
Rainmaker
207,728
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Marti, I am so glad you were on my brain wave with that one. I could just picture the conversation between those two fabulous relics, so I took a chance that I wouldn't be censored. It was worth it!

Jun 29, 2012 11:22 AM #17
Rainmaker
207,728
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Yes, Steven - it's in violation of EVERYTHING - fair housing, ACLU, vegetarians, PETA...and The United Brotherhood of Chicken! 

Jun 29, 2012 11:25 AM #18
Rainmaker
207,728
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Lisa, there does seem to be a theme there, I agree. I wish I had caught that myself, you clever devil. The whereabouts of the guy with the soiling problem would certainly explain how the poop got there!

Jun 29, 2012 11:30 AM #19
Rainmaker
110,295
Ralph & Janet Henze
Ralph Henze Homes - RE/MAX Elite - Sherwood Park, AB

Gwen, those are TOO ridiculous!  I can just imagine the look on the homeowner's face when they read the description of their house.  (You have me triple checking every listing we do now!)

Jan

Jun 29, 2012 01:49 PM #20
Rainmaker
1,037,840
Conrad Allen
Re/Max Professional Associates - Webster, MA
Webster, Ma, Realtor

Hi Gwen.  Wow! No mercy for my aging Celtics.  What a minute.  Did the Lakers win the NBA championship?  No

Jun 29, 2012 02:17 PM #21
Rainmaker
207,728
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Jan, the homeowners may be as dumb as the agents - after all, they hired them :-)
Jun 29, 2012 02:44 PM #22
Rainmaker
207,728
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Conrad, my comment to both of your thoughts is: tick-tock...tick tock... :-)
Jun 29, 2012 02:46 PM #23
Rainmaker
1,233,281
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Question - are white Texans as butt fattening as chips?

;>)

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Jun 29, 2012 03:59 PM #24
Rainmaker
1,361,686
Charles Stallions
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services - Pensacola, FL
800-309-3414 - Pensacola, Pace or Gulf Breeze, Fl.

I never see these in our MLS, we must have spell check or something but enjoyed the laugh

Jun 29, 2012 07:53 PM #25
Rainmaker
1,072,239
Lisa Von Domek
Lisa Von Domek & Associates LLC, Real Estate Broker/Associate with Real Living Real Estate Group www.LisaVon.com - Dallas, TX
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!

I am (once again) sharing your witty list at our sales meeting this week...we'll see how many others catch the "theme" LOL

Have a fabulous weekend!

Jun 30, 2012 02:08 PM #26
Rainmaker
207,728
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Jay, that depends on the size of their....hats :-)
Jun 30, 2012 03:10 PM #27
Rainmaker
207,728
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Charles, the submissions come from all over the United States, but the most come from large cities where there are more people who speak English as a second language. Thus, we have a lot more laughs with our local MLS!
Jun 30, 2012 03:16 PM #28
Rainmaker
207,728
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Lisa, thank you for sharing. I'm sure they will all catch the main theme – stupidity! :-)
Jun 30, 2012 03:20 PM #29
Ambassador
838,990
Connie Harvey
Pilkerton Realtors - Brentwood, TN
Realtor - Nashville TN Real Estate

Gwen, As always, very funny! I've missed your posts!

Jul 03, 2012 09:38 AM #30
Rainmaker
207,728
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Connie, thanks so much for reading. I'm glad my insanity has paid off :-)

Jul 03, 2012 11:54 AM #31
Rainmaker
889,749
Jane Peters
Power Brokers Int'l - Los Angeles, CA
Connecting you to the L.A. real estate scene

I am in catch-up mode today. I will be getting a three-fer.  Isn't walk to churches a violation of the code of ethics?

Jul 20, 2012 12:25 PM #32
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Rainmaker
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Gwen Banta

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