I'm too pretty to go to jail.

By
Real Estate Agent with Coldwell Banker Residential

I pulled up in front of my client's apartment building this morning, and slid into the spot next to the fire hydrant on the congested one-way street.

I pulled out my cell phone, and texted him the message: "I'm here, parked out front", and settled in to wait for him to bring down that balance of earnest money check that I'd agreed to pick up from him, instead of having him run it into my office.

There was a fair amount of activity on the street for the early hour.  People were hustling about, a lady in what was clearly her pajamas, walking her dog.  A young couple jogging, some folks obviously making their way to the train, dressed for work. One of the "young ladie's" attire clearly indicated that her "office" was standing on corner somewhere.

And of course there was the ubiquitous white panel van, just sittin' there, minding it's own business, just across the street.

I started to check my e-mail on my phone, when a small nondescript black car pulled up on the passenger side, and the driver motioned for me to roll down my window.  I was a bit skeptical, until I realized it was my client... I wasn't expecting him to be in his car, I thought he'd just walk down to deliver the check.

I rolled down the passenger side window... We said our "Hellos", and suddenly he was passing me an envelope, through the open window, as we both looked suspiciously side-to-side. To the casual passerby, it was clearly a drug deal.  The two black cars with an envelope passing between them... and illicit exchange right?

I immediately thought of the ubiquitous panel van, if anyone had seen this exchange, they couldn't help but figure it was a drug deal.  I could see the headlines in tomorrow's paper.  "Local Realtor arrested in drug sting on north side". 

"Now", the officer says, as I squint into the bright lights "what was that $10,000 payment for, again?"

"It was just earnest money, officer.... I swear!"

"Do you have any proof of that?"

"Yes, I have the paperwork at the office, if you'll let me go get it"

"You're not going anywhere, Mr. Realtor-drug-dealer" says Señor bad-cop.  "You're not going anywhere."

I'm too pretty to go to jail.

-10

Posted by

 ALAN MAY, Realtor®
Specializing in Evanston Real Estate and North Shore Real Estate

Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate, 2929 Central Street, Evanston, IL 60201
847.425.3779      Cell: 847.924.3313      Email: Almay@aol.com

Evanston Real Estate & North Shore Real Estate
Licensed in Illinois

   

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Ambassador
983,568
Alan May
Evanston & Northshore of Chicago real estate
Coldwell Banker Residential

Tammie - do you have to call it "pokey"?

Yolanda - truly.

Tanja - I know... "hey, the crooks are getting so blatant... I saw a drug money handoff right in broad daylight!"

Randi - I just can't go to jail.

Loreena - as we're dragged off to Tammie's "pokey"... "but I'm a Reeeeeaaalltorr!!"

Charles - hmmm... it just might have been.

Nancy - and it felt that way, too.

Jane - uh, oh... fortunately, nobody watches the news anymore.

Donna - I'm sure that Uncle Vinny was behind the whole thing.

Tim - sounds can be deceiving.

Richard - in prison, "standards" are far more loose.

Susan - maybe I can turn it into a new AR photo?

Chris Ann - that's assuming we buy your premise that you're "sane" now!?

Cindy - oh no... I can't be someone's beyotch!

July 18, 2012 03:06 PM
Anonymous #16
Anonymous
Liz Provo

Cash?????  Hope you gave him a receipt. LOL

July 18, 2012 04:44 PM
Ambassador
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Tammy Emineth
Content Marketer, SEO Teacher, Website Fixer
Personal SEO - Website SEO and Real Estate Marketing

Whatever... you're just posting here as your cover up proof.. we know the truth...

July 18, 2012 04:58 PM
Rainer
180,045
Tatyana Makarov
Your Greater Hartford Area Realtor
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage

Yep, Alan,

you can say all you want ... we know what you were doing. Have to look up tomorrow's newspaper :)

Tatyana

July 18, 2012 04:59 PM
Rainer
402,211
Brian L. Sirota, Esq.
For Solutions: (714) 501-7660
Bristar Realty (Realtor/Attorney)

Alan, thank goodness the white panel van was just Re/Max surveillance.  

I bet the house your client is buying is a dope deal....either that, or it's a bust!   ;)    Brian

July 18, 2012 05:01 PM
Rainer
402,211
Brian L. Sirota, Esq.
For Solutions: (714) 501-7660
Bristar Realty (Realtor/Attorney)

Oh Alan....I can't resist.   What's a Jailhouse going for these days?   B

July 18, 2012 05:06 PM
Rainer
402,211
Brian L. Sirota, Esq.
For Solutions: (714) 501-7660
Bristar Realty (Realtor/Attorney)

Seriously, I can't help myself.   You're now Illinois's Most Wanted Realtor!   B

July 18, 2012 05:13 PM
Ambassador
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Doug Rogers
Your Pineville Louisiana Agent
Bayou Properties Realty

Bet you would not be the first agent to spend the night in jail!

July 18, 2012 05:32 PM
Ambassador
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Brenda Mullen
Your San Antonio TX Real Estate Agent!!
RE/MAX Access

That's too funny Alan.  It sure sounded like a drug deal lol :)! 

July 18, 2012 05:54 PM
Rainmaker
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Sussie Sutton
UTR TEXAS Realtors - Rep for buyers and sellers.
UTR Texas Realtors

Pssst! Alan! Do you have the stuff?

July 18, 2012 06:27 PM
Rainmaker
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Karen Feltman
Relocation Specialist
Cedar Rapids/Iowa City, IA Skogman Realty
Love it! As long as it wasn't cash, I think you are safe!
July 18, 2012 07:07 PM
Rainmaker
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Christine Smith
Exclusive Buyer Agent & Attorney, Canton, MA
Buyers Brokers Only LLC - www.BuyersBrokersOnly.com

Alan...I'm glad to see you got away before the police got you!

July 18, 2012 07:50 PM
Ambassador
983,568
Alan May
Evanston & Northshore of Chicago real estate
Coldwell Banker Residential

Liz - who said anything about cash?

Tammy - don't blow my alibi.

Brian (3) - I like it... I think you tripped over my new ad campaign.

Doug - probably not.

Brenda - and it felt like one, too.

Sussie - shhh... I'm undercover.

Karen - it weren't... and I'm not on the way to the Carribean.

Christine - me, too.  I'm too pretty to go to jail.

July 18, 2012 08:03 PM
Rainmaker
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Nick T Pappas
Madison & Huntsville Alabama Real Estate Resource
Assoc. Broker/Broker ABR, SFR, e-Pro, @Homes Realty Group, Huntsville AL
Alan, too bad for you...I understand Cook County is not a place for pretty boys :)
July 18, 2012 08:37 PM
Ambassador
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Jeff Dowler CRS
Carlsbad CA Homes for Sale (760) 840-1360
Solutions Real Estate

Alan

You actually still handle checks and cash? When I saw the first line I figured you were heading toward a parking ticket for being by the hydrant. Or don?t they do that in Evanston?

Jeff

July 18, 2012 09:13 PM
Ambassador
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Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)
RE/MAX Elite 513.265.3004 www.LizTour.com

Alan, We've done a lot of things in real estate, but small unmarked bills in an envelope passed through a window isn't one of them :)

July 19, 2012 03:47 AM
Rainmaker
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Gay E. Rosen
Honest, Hardworking and always Professional!
Houlihan Lawrence

ALan - so funny... many years ago I asked directions from a group of people and as one turned around - they were doing a drug deal... I sort of backstepped.. well... glad you weren't arrested - we would have missed you..

July 19, 2012 05:58 AM
Ambassador
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Alan May
Evanston & Northshore of Chicago real estate
Coldwell Banker Residential

Nick - they're in short supply.

Jeff - oh... they do that at every opportunity!

Liz & Bill - the adrenaline rush alone...

Gay - did they cut you in?

July 19, 2012 06:45 AM
Rainer
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Steven Cook
- Pierce, King, Kitsap, Thurston, Mason Counties
No Longer Processing Mortgages.

Alan -- very well written, to keep us moving through the blog.

July 21, 2012 08:51 AM
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Alan May
Evanston & Northshore of Chicago real estate
Coldwell Banker Residential

Steven - why thank you, sir.

July 21, 2012 12:48 PM
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Alan May

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