I Happen To Love SPAM - What's Wrong With The World?

By
Home Inspector with Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC

I happen to love SPAM - what's wrong with the world?  Things are getting way, way out of whack. 

SPAM is a wonderful food.  The word itself is wonderful!  It's a contraction of two words - Spicy and Ham! 

Contract the two and get SPAM!

My first introduction to SPAM was when I was 11 years old and on my first Boy Scout camping trip.

Seeing it cooking on the campfire griddle it smelled a lot like ham.  But I didn't know what it was.

They explained to me, teasing of course, that it was made up of everything on the pig that nobody wanted to eat - the snout, the toenail, the knuckles, the tail, and everything else obnoxious and unappetizing.

But everyone else ate it, so I tasted it and IT WAS GOOD!

Just look at it sitting there, proudly, among all the other pretenders.  Vienna sausage?  Are you kidding?  Chunk light tuna?  What are you thinking?

SPAM is it baby.

And I have enjoyed it on camping trips ever since that first, delicious introduction.  Even now, as a Scoutmaster or other camp adult, I want to see SPAM on the menu!

And now what do we get?  The world is crazy!  I hear about SPAM blockers, SPAM blacklisters, SPAM filters, and SPAM preventers!  And that somehow SPAM is "socially unacceptable."  I read that SPAM is being sent to people who do not want it, like it's some form of fruit cake!  WHAT??  ARE YOU PEOPLE CRAZY?  Who wouldn't want SPAM??

And, the lie of all lies, SPAM is being connected to viruses, worms and it's said that it is found to be sent by people phishing.  Well, that just reaches the end of my rope!  SPAM is SPICY HAM!  There is no phish in it!

THIS MADNESS HAS TO STOP!!

And so, in the interest of fairness and to raise the SOCIAL CONSCIOUSNESS, I propose to start a lobbying group.

I am calling my group S.P.A.M.

Coming soon to a neighborhood near you will be a fine building. It will be in the shape of a SPAM can.

On top will be large neon letters -- S P A M!

There will be two entrances.  One will be for the more business minded.  Over the door will be a sign saying:

S.P.A.M!

SPAM PURVEYORS ARE MARVELOUS!

The other door will be for the more socially inclined.  Over this door will be another sign saying:

S.P.A.M!

SPAM PREVENTERS ARE MEAN!

Outside our buildings you will detect the wafting aroma of SPAM cooking on a griddle!  When you smell it you will know you are home.

Each door will open to the same greeting area.  Just walk in and say, "Hi.  I'm _____________ and I love SPAM!"

You will be greeted warmly.  A vast buffet will be served presenting SPAM in a colorful and glorious array of deliciousness.  Immediately you will be invited to enjoy and savor every culinary idea in the extraordinary buffet presentation!

Admission is free. 

Bring your appetite!



Posted by

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC  

Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia.

Office (703) 330-6388   Cell (703) 585-7560

www.jaymarinspect.com


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  1. Bob Crane 08/15/2012 12:23 AM
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Comments 43 New Comment

Rainmaker
1,165,824
Jay Markanich
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC

Bob - it probably fills you up with all the food groups!  How healthy is that!?

August 15, 2012 02:25 AM
Ambassador
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Kathy Streib
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224
Room Service Home Staging

Jay- such grief you're taking all in the name of Spam.  I have to admit that an aunt used to serve it to us on occasion with scrambled eggs.  I'm not sure what I thought of it, but suffice it to say I haven't had it since!  Hey.. some people eat dead snails or raw fish!

August 18, 2012 05:18 PM
Rainmaker
1,165,824
Jay Markanich
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC

Kathy - isn't it funny how language changes?  Think of all the ways words have been changed even in our short lifetimes, and now their meanings are entirely different than the originals!  Now "application" suddenly means something entirely new and different and has even been shortened.

August 19, 2012 03:50 AM
Rainmaker
746,985
Marte Cliff
your real estate writer
Marte Cliff Copywriting

Hmmm... I used to like Spam - but the last time I tried it I thought they'd changed the recipe. I think that about a LOT of foods I used to like. 

Maybe I'm just getting old and picky...

July 28, 2013 02:30 PM
Rainmaker
1,165,824
Jay Markanich
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC

I ate it a short while ago Marte, for old time's sake, and found it extremely salty.  I bet I was used to very salty as a youth because of my grandmother's cooking and didn't notice then.

July 28, 2013 04:23 PM
Rainmaker
1,165,824

Jay Markanich

Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia
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