"View from top of hell" - Wondering Why Buyers Are Avoiding Your Listings?

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

Hi Friends – it’s blooper day, and I found some hilarious gaffes on the MLS this week. I think I finally figured out why we consistently see such errors – agents are letting their pets write their listing remarks. On the other hand, I suspect that my dog can spell better than some of these culprits, so I may be casting unfair aspersions. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles for the Blooper of the Week (she hit the mother lode with that one).

Is There A Pulse?

“2 beds uhg” (Me Tarzan, you dummy.)

“Big barths” (Yeah, that usually accompanies a bad hangover…)

“No balls after 9 pm” (My ex had the same problem.)

“House will shit all buyers” (Hence the corn particles in the front yard?)

“Sorry – already bought” (Sign taped to back of seats in the House Chamber.)

Can You Detect A Heartbeat?

“Stay toned for open house schedule” (Man, L.A. sure is a tough market!)

“View from top of hell” (Graffiti on the wall in the Oval office john. )

“Just needs lifts” (…said Tom Cruise’s agent to his producer.)

“Pool chub” (Caption under a photo of me in my bathing suit at the office BBQ.)

“House on coroner” (How convenient – he’s already there to pronounce himself dead.)

Pull The Plug

“Coop for sale” (Oh, is Foster Farms going out of business?)

“Drop in sot” (I see you’ve met the guys who play poker with my Uncle Paddy.)

“Coy fish in big pond” (Where are the gregarious fish – in the kegger pond?)

“Big water fault in back” (That’s called a tsunami, and if I were you, I’d run like hell!)

Last Rites (Thanks, Jane)

“Bright, Quite garden condo. like home 3bads and 2 full bath, fire place3 tend-om parking, incloding refrigcrater” (Take the fork out of the socket and the antennas out of your aluminum foil hat. Your hair is in flames…just like your career.)

 

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: spell well and sell!

Please visit www.victorylodgeinfo.com to see my magnificent listing: "Reduced: $14,900,000 Log Cabin Estate." Also: "Stunning Spanish Villa Atop Mt Washington - $999,000" @ www.tourfactory.com/881759 ; and "Whitley Heights Investment Properties - $3.3M" @ http://youtu.be/PW6lstI9Yug . Thank you!

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  1. Donna Foerster 09/19/2012 09:16 PM
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Show All Comments
Rainmaker
275,187
Steven Pahl
Real Estate Consultant Tampa, FL 813-319-6423
Keller Williams Tampa Properties

So sorry to hear about your ex's problem, but my dogs thought I was dying when I read:

“House will shit all buyers” (Hence the corn particles in the front yard?)

Brought back a very terrible/humorous memory of an incident when I was in the service back in the 70's!

 

September 14, 2012 07:20 PM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Steven, I think a lot of us can identify with an embarrassing incident like that. I am also famous for several crowd-pleasing toilet-paper-in-the pants episodes that were hard to explain! That's how I developed a sense of humor - public humiliation will do that to a person!

September 14, 2012 07:35 PM
Rainmaker
998,970
Conrad Allen
Webster, Ma, Realtor
Re/Max Professional Associates

Hi Gwen.  Too funny as usual.  Thanks.

September 15, 2012 03:43 AM
Rainmaker
1,022,642
Lisa Von Domek
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!
Lisa Von Domek & Associates LLC, Real Estate Broker/Associate with Real Living Real Estate Group www.LisaVon.com

Good morning Gwen,

You called it perfectly (as always)...last rites is right!

September 15, 2012 05:16 AM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Thanks, Conrad - have a great and smile-filled weekend!

September 15, 2012 12:14 PM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Lisa, that last one you could stick a fork in!

September 15, 2012 12:15 PM
Rainmaker
420,174
Melissa Marro
St Augustine, St Johns, Ponte Vedra
Watson Realty Corp

Another hilarious list. I don't know how you manage to find them each week!

September 16, 2012 11:05 AM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Melissa, somehow disaster always finds ME!

September 16, 2012 12:03 PM
Ambassador
828,356
John McCormack
AlbuquerqueHomes.com
Albuquerque Homes Realty * www.AlbuquerqueHomes.com
I'm so glad I found you via Donna's reblog. I have now subscribed.
September 19, 2012 09:29 PM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Thanks, John. There will be a new one this Friday with some jaw-dropping bloopers - welcome Aboard!

September 19, 2012 10:13 PM
Rainmaker
1,185,483
Tom Arstingstall, General Contractor, Dry Rot, Water Damage Sacramento, El Dorado County - (916) 765-5366
General Contractor, Dry Rot and Water Damage
Dry Rot and Water Damage www.tromlerconstruction.com Mobile - 916-765-5366

Great post as usual Gwen, I laugh openly everytime.

September 19, 2012 11:01 PM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Tom, that makes me so happy to hear that!

September 19, 2012 11:20 PM
Rainmaker
624,553
Wayne and Jean Marie Zuhl
The Last Names You'll Ever Need in Real Estate
Hallmark Realtors

HAHAHA! "Say toned for open house schedule!" That's hysterical! Keep 'em coming, Gwen  - you make  me smile!

September 20, 2012 03:53 AM
Rainmaker
1,370,158
Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®
Lewisburg WV Real Estate, Greenbrier County
Coldwell Banker Stuart & Watts Real Estate

Hi Gwen, saw this on Donna's reblog... what's wrong with agents..guess they don't believe in proof reading... I'll be sure to watch for the next post :)

September 20, 2012 04:52 AM
Ambassador
705,071
Debb Janes
REALTOR®, EcoBroker Camas, Washington
The Carl Group, LLC

I came over from Donna's reblog. I love the bloopers Gwen, and while I can't imagine being that sloppy as an agent, it does give us some fun. Love Marti's comments #1. :) :)

September 20, 2012 09:30 AM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Wayne and Jean, it's really hard to compete in a town full of hardbodies.

September 20, 2012 03:24 PM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Rebecca, it's hard to proofread if one cannot read to begin with :-)

September 20, 2012 03:39 PM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Debb, they do provide fun if we can get past the collective embarrassment!

September 20, 2012 03:42 PM
Rainmaker
511,570
Jill Sackler
Long Island's South Shore Real Estate Agent
Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. "Said and Done!"

I vote for "coy fish in pond" in this week's selection and your witty response.

September 22, 2012 09:02 PM
Rainmaker
206,538
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty

Thanks, Jill - I was hoping someone would enjoy that!

September 22, 2012 11:58 PM
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Rainmaker
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Gwen Banta

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