Top Four ADULT Jokes...

By
Real Estate Mortgage Broker with New World Mortgages,(Mortgage Company)

Top Four Adult Jokes 

Fourth Place
:

 

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast..

They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."

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Third Place:


 One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.

The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

The husband, rejected, turns over.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.

"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

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Runner Up:


Bill worked in a pickle factory.  He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.  He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.  His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed.  He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
 

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.

"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.

"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"

"Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed.

"Yes, I did." he replied.
"My God, Bill, what happened?"
"I got fired."

"No, Bill.  I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"

"Oh...she got fired too."
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Winner:


A couple had been married for 50 years.

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."

"I know," the old man said.  "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago."

"Well," Granny snickered.  "Let's relive some old times."

Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."

"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.

"One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."

_____________________

Source: Unknown email.

 

 

 

 

 

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Groups:
AR Comedy Club
Tags:
ar comedy

Comments 7 New Comment

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Rainer
75,576
Ann Guy
NA
Good monday humor!
January 29, 2007 03:20 PM
Anonymous #4
Anonymous
Anonymous

Great Tuesday humor.

 

These will get passed on. Thks.

January 30, 2007 09:00 AM
Rainer
31,718
Eli Magen
New World Mortgages,(Mortgage Company)
Thx guys...good everyday humor.
January 30, 2007 11:45 AM
Rainer
15,146
Rob Wesler
Harborview Financial Partners, LLC
Still funny
August 14, 2007 06:49 AM
Rainer
143,765
Gary J. Rocks
Werner Realty

Eli

I heard them all, sorry. but hey they all made me laugh. and a few reminded me of past life experiences, you'll just have to guess which one's.

August 14, 2007 03:55 PM
Anonymous
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Rainer
31,718

Eli Magen

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