The Power of Soft

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty 0575737

Speak and SpellIt constantly amazes me the little lessons I pick up from working around many in the real estate world. Recently over a period of time I have encountered buyers searching for homes and speakers of continuing education classes who taught  me about speech patterns. Also a family member starting out the journey with ALS (Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) illustrated to me the importance of voice.

With the buyer there was a dyslexic pattern where the syllables were interchanged. You had to keenly listen to figure out what was meant.

With the speaker the pace of his talk would quicken, and then all of a sudden slow down, and then go soft to emphasize a point. You would have to fine tune your listening to make sure you "heard" what they were saying. This was when they were conveying the golden nugget.

With ALS, speech can progress to being slightly slurry to very slurry and the power in the voice with less lung power can decrease. Hearing the meaning of what someone is trying to say becomes difficult. There is a struggle to communicate. You work ever so hard to understand.

In the 1970's there was a Speak and Spell toy where you typed in a word and it would synthetically produce the word but sometimes with a robotic voice you had to "listen carefully" to see what was projected. Oftentime you would laugh, and say "What??" I guess we don't like robots.

What I learned from all these instances was that in a world filled with so much noise, a soft voice can be the important one. Try to be the quiet voice of reason and calm in your dealings with other people. When all the shouting and nonsense is over with, waiting your turn, say softly your profound words. Because of the soft voice everyone will listen. Be someone of less words, less harshness, and more importance to those around you. Words are important, but so is tone.

I saw it so much with the ALS. Struggling so hard to be of importance as a speaker and the listeners so hard wanted to connect. There is much power in a soft voice. Don't underestimate it.

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Rainmaker
1,733,311
William Feela
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.
WHISPERING PINES REALTY
I learned a long time ago, the first one to lose their temper was the one who lost.  (sometimes I don't care if I lose and I lose big!)
March 13, 2008 06:31 PM
Anonymous #2
Anonymous
Anonymous
Gary~It continues to amaze me when one is shouting in anger and expecting that I may reciprocate with the same voice, but using that soft voice can often turn a situation around and make it very, very positive. Thank you for the reminder that softness carries us much further in our communications.  
March 13, 2008 06:39 PM
Ambassador
1,529,827
Gary Woltal
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth
Keller Williams Realty

William: Loud and noisy just seems to drown out and turn off anyone you want to listen to you, so right.

Julie: Reacting "differently" and not equally I think is masterful. If you can do that Julie, you've reached the advanced communications stage level.

March 13, 2008 06:46 PM
Rainmaker
115,496
Elaine M. Gage
A Wonderful Space, LLC
A Wonderful Space, LLC
Gary- This has certainly been my experience. It's the soft-talkers that get my attention!
March 13, 2008 07:05 PM
Rainmaker
114,366
Kim Southern
Blue Ridge Real Estate
Century 21 Professional Realty Group

I've always believed in speaking softly...AND CARRYING A BIG STICK!!  I kid...

I had a principal in elementary school who had the most perfect method of getting our attention. She never raised her voice. She would just wait, perfectly silent, until everyone quieted down and you could hear a pin drop. Then she would quietly and gently speak.  It was amazing how quickly she could get an auditorium full of rambunctious grade-schoolers absolutely silent...Without saying a word.

I learned a lot from that...

March 13, 2008 07:29 PM
Rainmaker
561,119
Lindsey Hasford
Coldwell Banker Vision
Gary - I have always been a soft spoken one. Lately I have found myself voicing more and more and long for the days of my quiet tender spirit. :-) With my clients I am definetely still that way. It's what makes the relationships work for me.
March 13, 2008 08:33 PM
Anonymous #7
Anonymous
Anonymous

Gary, Soft voices are very soothing.

March 13, 2008 09:30 PM
Rainmaker
437,217
JL Boney, III
Columbia, SC Real Estate
Russell and Jeffcoat
Gary I agree, most of the time you only hurt the situation by raising your voice. I have found in my experience that remaining calm and collected is the best way to handle any situation.
March 13, 2008 09:37 PM
Rainmaker
341,953
Don Wixom
"Looking out for your next move..."tm
RE/MAX Advantage Nampa, ID
Gary,  I'll never forget the commercial in the '70's, I think, "If you want to capture someone's attention, whisper!"  It's true!  Nice post!
March 13, 2008 09:55 PM
Rainmaker
639,894
Marchel Peterson
Spring TX Real Estate E-Pro
Results Realty
Gary, the soft voice can be the loudest at times if that makes sense.  Not loud in projectile loud but loud in the words that come out which are often so wise.  I think we often hear the big guy upstairs in that still quiet voice.
March 13, 2008 10:19 PM
Ambassador
1,529,827
Gary Woltal
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth
Keller Williams Realty

Elaine: I think there is a link between soft and powerful.

Kim: A wonderful example.

Lindsey: Yes, it seems sometimes we have to be loud to get attention in the crowd, but we really just have to wait for them to stop talking.

Kay: I agree with soothing of a quiet voice.

J L: It defuses the tension.

Don: Perfect example.

Marchel: Great connection with the man upstairs.

March 13, 2008 10:52 PM
Rainmaker
536,368
Lynda Eisenmann
Broker-Owner,CRS,CDPE,GRI,SRES, Brea,CA, Orange Co
Preferred Home Brokers

Hi Gary,

So sorry to hear about your loved one with ALS, that's got to be rough. As for your topic I think you're right. I had a teacher in h.s. who did that to us all the time. She forced us all to really pay attention when she softened her voice. I can still remember her very well today.

March 13, 2008 10:57 PM
Ambassador
1,529,827
Gary Woltal
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth
Keller Williams Realty
Lynda: Yes ALS is a journey like other incurable illnesses nobody signs up for. But it has taught me by watching a family member to do the best you can with what you have each day. See, that teacher you remembered real well with her technique - it is something else!
March 13, 2008 11:32 PM
Rainer
103,798
Rosario Lewis
GRI, SRES - DDR Realty - Orange County, NY
DDR Realty
When I was a teacher I often used a soft tone of voice to calm irate, confrontational  students. it worked every time.
March 14, 2008 01:58 PM
Ambassador
1,529,827
Gary Woltal
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth
Keller Williams Realty
Rosario: Another teaching example that it does work. Thanks!
March 14, 2008 05:40 PM
Rainmaker
531,757
Liz Moras
Chilliwack Realtor, Garrison Crossing,Chilliwack, Abbotsford
Harrison Hot Springs, Cultus Lake
Oh Gary - I need you to publish.......or do i print everyblog and put it in a journal?.........Its like my Daily Bread...:-)
March 30, 2008 02:24 AM
Anonymous
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Gary Woltal

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