If You Can’t Be Polite…At Least Be Eloquent

By
Real Estate Agent with Prudential Shimmering Sands Realty

When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

" He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Poor Faulkner... Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

 

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

 "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

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What Is Your Favorite Positive Quote?

Comments 9 New Comment

Anonymous #5
Anonymous
Anonymous

Well Robin, even if they didn't think it was funny, I thought is was. I used to have a sticker on my truck that said "Stupidity should be painful". The ones who didn't find it amusing were usually in pain.

September 09, 2008 10:17 AM
Rainmaker
93,920
C. Thompson
Loss Mitigation Cases
Loan Modification

On a more positive note.....

September 09, 2008 10:20 AM
Rainer
71,182
Ted Komenda
Weichert Realtors Dunhill Group

I think its great when someone uses the power of words and more importantly intellect to deliver a point. 

Ted Komenda

September 17, 2008 03:24 PM
Rainmaker
34,899
Robin Lundholm

I need that sticker.  I have also learned that you cannot have someone arrested for being an idiot.  Trust me, I tried.

September 19, 2008 12:26 PM
Rainmaker
48,449
Brenda Tressler
Crye-Leike Realtors

Thank youGreat quotes... I really enjoyed reading this post. Thanks for sharing and I hope you have a great week-end Brenda :)

September 19, 2008 11:18 PM
Rainer
19,905

Chuck Roberts

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