Forgive Him? I don't think so.

By
Real Estate Agent with Prudential Preferred Real Estate; www.Auburn-Realtor.com

For the last few weeks, it has really been on my mind to address the area of forgiveness.  No matter how bad someone has hurt you, it is so important to forgive them in order to be free again yourself.  One thing I have learned about  forgiveness is it is NOT admitting that what the other person did was right.  It may have been horrible and there is absolutely no justification for it.  However, if you want to feel free again and not have the dark cloud of anger, resentment and retaliation hovering over you you have to say I forgive.  Forgiveness is not a feeling it is not an emotion.  It is a DECISION and it only may be achieved by making the CHOICE to forgive. 

One Bible verse I have referred to often is in Isaiah 43:18-19 which states "Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old.  Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it?  I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. (NKJV).  To get through life, you have to forget about your past experiences, and let go of those things that are behind you.  Depending on the situation, it may even require a counselor or professional assistance in order to move forward.  However, sometimes you just have to make the choice to forgive so you will be able to obtain as much peace as possible. 

Another Bible verse that has helped me when I have been confronted with some really "rotten" people is as follows:  "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places," EPH 6:12  Although I do believe people should be accountable for their actions, I don't know how to explain certain people's ill behavior any other way than they must be under the above influences.

Hope this has provided some encouragment to someone today.   In my personal life, I have found the sooner I make this decision the happier I have been.  It is not always easy, but I always feel better after I do it.

 

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Rainer
42,906
Kevin McGourty
MovingHelp.com - Phoenix, AZ
Moving Help - nationwide

Very good words. Easier said than done, but an absolute necessity on the path toward health and wholeness.

Jun 05, 2008 01:44 PM #1
Rainer
19,786
Ray Nelson
Exit Realty Expertise - Fredericksburg, VA

I agree 100%.  Forgiveness is not a justification for the wrongdoer, but a step on the path to enlightenment for the victim.

Jun 05, 2008 01:47 PM #2
Rainer
119,326
Sean Carroll
The Get Off Your A$$ Academy - Manhattan, NY
Real Estate Speaker and "Expert" Coach

great post, and I share your perspective on this. As soon as I let it go, or more importantly make sure I am not in the wrong, and if so, apologize, the better I feel, and I can get back to my day with some peace

Jun 05, 2008 02:00 PM #3
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous

Good post Laura, thanks for the reminder of the power of forgiveness. There was a sermon at a church that I went to and the message was that if you still feel resentment towards the person that hurt you even after you have forgiven them then there was no true conviction in your heart to forgive the person in the first place. We have to let go and let God, it is the only way to achieve true happiness and peace of mind and in our hearts.

Jun 05, 2008 02:11 PM #4
Ambassador
541,863
Larry Story
Total Care Realty - Greensboro, NC
Total Care Realty, LLC, Greensboro, NC Real Estate

Part of the forgiveness process is so you can let go of the anger and bitterness which is holding you back from forgiveness.  If you do not let it go then they will eat you up from the inside out and make your miserable.

Jun 05, 2008 02:12 PM #5
Rainer
5,041
Kathy Brown
RE/MAX Alliance - Johnstown, CO
Sells Northern Colorado

Definitely in agreement.  Forgiveness can sometimes be one of the hardest things to do, but when it's done, it's also one of the most satisfying acts one can do and the reward of a peaceful heart not only grows from within yourself, but I believe begins to spread to others as well.  Other people will see how God gave you peace in your heart, and they will surely (hopefully) consider seeking God in their troubles as well.  Great food for thought... 

Jun 05, 2008 02:16 PM #6
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous

Larry, I belive in your comment. The anger that consumes us is like cancer, not to mention that that is how some people develop degenerated diseases. Anger can surely kill you while the art of forgiveness can heal.

Jun 05, 2008 02:43 PM #7
Rainmaker
44,072
Laura Sellers
Prudential Preferred Real Estate; www.Auburn-Realtor.com - Auburn, AL
www.Auburn-Realtor.com; Auburn, AL Real Estate

Something I have found useful is if you are truly having a hard time forgiving someone is to start praying for blessings to appear in their lives.  At first you may not feel sincere in your requests, but somehow along the way I think it softens your heart and helps you to heal. 

Jun 05, 2008 03:49 PM #8
Rainmaker
478,015
Robert L. Brown
www.mrbrownsellsgr.com - Grand Rapids, MI
Grand Rapids Real Estate Bellabay Realty, West Michigan

To not forgive someone it will only drag you down. They don't have a clue how you feel and you're so miserable inside. You are absolutely right. It's a decision that only you can make and the sooner you do it the better.

Jun 05, 2008 04:24 PM #9
Rainmaker
458,996
Alexander Harb
Knights Investing - Mesquite, TX
Dallas, Texas Real Estate Investing

The best thing to do is to leave it to the Lord.....

I have had a lot of backstabbing lately from former members of the "Christianity and Real Estate" group... but these people have justified thier actions and have NOT seen fit to ask for forgiveness..

These people have started a new group with the express intent on trying to make it a NICE place to be.... a LOT of the people who have jumped on board with this group do NOT know why it was formed.......

The founders forgot to mention how the group was started...... and why.......

I have seen veiled references to why it was formed, but nothing concrete..... just a flowery prayer about wisdom and understanding for the leaders of ActiveRain..... but nothing else..... and something about cults and political correctness......

So ~~~~ I just leave it to the Lord and walk my daily walk with Him....

Forgiveness is a wonderful thing........

BTW..... This is a featured post in,"Christianity and Real Estate"......

THANKS!!

 

Jun 05, 2008 04:36 PM #10
Rainer
30,681
Simon Hahn
Keller Williams Realty - Brambleton, VA

Nice post.  I've been dealing with issues of forgiveness and loving others lately.

1 John 4:9-10   "9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son[a] into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for[b] our sins."

Jesus modeled what true love is.  He laid down His life for us who didn't reserve it.  Likewise, we demonstrate love to others when we choose to forgive and love those who do us wrong.  It's only natural to love those who love us but it requires God's love to genuinely forgive those who hurt us.  Not only does forgiveness frees us but also we grow in God's love and ultimately in deeper knowledge of God.  After all God is love. 

Mother Teresa. "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

When we demonstrate forgiveness, we allow people to taste the love of God.  Here's a clip from Les Mis, the movie, that illustrate this point.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-KRbQFtQ0w

People's lives are transformed when they encounter grace.  I had some recent incidents where I felt like some "clients" misled me or did me wrong.  I realize that God sometimes allows these events to take place so that I have the opportunity to illuminate Christ's love.  Yeah at first you don't want to pray and bless those who did you wrong but in the end I found myself growing in love and ultimately growing closer to the source of love, God.  I just felt I needed to share what I have experience in the recent weeks.  God bless.

Jun 06, 2008 01:30 AM #11
Rainmaker
727,327
Chuck Carstensen
RE/MAX Results - Elk River, MN
Minnesota Real Estate Expert

Very good way to look at forgiveness.  I think its a choice and looking to the bible can give us some direction on how to forgive and why.

Jun 06, 2008 08:31 AM #12
Rainmaker
44,072
Laura Sellers
Prudential Preferred Real Estate; www.Auburn-Realtor.com - Auburn, AL
www.Auburn-Realtor.com; Auburn, AL Real Estate

The dialog we have with ourselves on a daily basis shapes how we feel about ourselves and who we ultimately become.  It defines our character and the person we are.  It reminds me of the following adage:

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."

I have found listening to motivational cds, videos, music is a great way to begin thinking in a positive light and starting our journey to becoming a more happy person.

Jun 06, 2008 08:57 AM #13
Ambassador
1,550,634
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Laura, I just wanted to stop by and tell you that you SOooo understand how forgiveness works. It is not about them. It is about you. I think it is great you provided the bible verses too.

Jun 06, 2008 10:47 PM #14
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous

Thank you for a lovely post.  Very well written.  In these days and times of so little consideration for others, forgiveness is a part of life that we must practice to stay on track.

Jun 07, 2008 05:52 PM #15
Rainmaker
1,776,828
William Feela
WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

Forgiveness can be such a hard thing.  Sooner you can the easier things move along.  Give it to God

Jun 07, 2008 06:12 PM #16
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Rainmaker
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Laura Sellers

www.Auburn-Realtor.com; Auburn, AL Real Estate
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