How to Not Be Like Mike

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty 0575737

In real estate parlance you will hear many talk of keeping up with the Joneses. People at work get promotions and buy bigger houses and better cars, and they want to likewise. How superficial in life is that? But I see something far more insidious in that in life and that is trying to "be" someone else.

Mikchael JordanMotivational speaker and writer Pat Williams wrote a book about basketball great Michael Jordan. It was entitled, "How to Be Like Mike." While the premise of the book about lessons in success from a basketball star's journey had some merit to it I have always hated that title.

Many people look around the world at others with their charm, success, humor, intelligence, good looks, band of friends, connections and want to be in that crowd and like them. They completely discount what they have to offer themselves. Somehow they feel they fall short and they are inadequate. I have great sadness for them when I see that. I see it far too often.

You GiftComparing yourself with other people will ALWAYS make you miserable. It has to be stopped. It denies your uniqueness in the world and the gifts you have that make you special.

More than that, I think it is the #1 distraction you can have in your mind that wastes more of your time looking at someone else and not developing and growing yourself to your full potential. It REALLY gets your eye off the ball. Why? Because you are looking at someone else and trying to be like them. Looking at another's good points and developing them in yourself is fine. But don't ever want to be them! You are YOU!

Even in social blogging, some may have been at it longer than you and have accumulated "more points." In Realtor offices, some are more veterans with more years under their belt. DO NOT LET ANY OF THESE PEOPLE INTIMIDATE YOU!! I speak for all the newbies of the world. A secret for you: "They are no better than you." In fact, you may be far superior to them in so many areas of your life. Embrace them and congratulate them for all they offer. But please, don't be them. You are denying the world everything that is in the beautiful you.

Remember you are the gift you came to give the world. You are nothing less than a treasure. Honor that gift by just being You. Find your "internal" compass and follow that, not someone else. YOU is what the world needs to see each and EVERY day!

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Rainmaker
270,573
Cathy Lee
CL Design Services Home Staging - Danville, CA
ASP, IAHSP, RESA Danville, CA

Hi Gary-wonderful message here.  If we all just let go and focus on being the best we can be at what we  love doing, we will succeed.

Jun 28, 2008 12:27 PM #10
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Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Jason: You gotta be you, so absolutely true. I love how you like your agents in your office to have a sense of humor, which fits the model for you. You couldn't live with the sour pusses. It would bring you down. Thanks for thinking of me with a feature post idea.

Fran: You always nail it on the head. Confidence and a GREAT self image will take you many places. Thank you for all your nuggets of wisdom.

Cathy: The best us and passion. You will go far with that. Exactly right.

Jun 28, 2008 01:00 PM #11
Anonymous
Anonymous

Howdy Gary

Puting on airs is something that I have never been able or every wanted to do.

If folk's can't accept me for being myself, then that is their loss and not mine.

No one should ever want a make believe life.

Beside folk's that go through life not being their self, ain't foolen anyone but them selves.

You have written very good points for folk's to think about.

God Bless The U.S.A.

Jun 28, 2008 01:18 PM #12
Rainmaker
651,355
Fran Gaspari
Patriot Land Transfer, Inc. - Limerick, PA
"The Title Man" - Title Insurance - PA & NJ

Gary,

Tell Lenn I'm going on 'blogging strike' until I hear 'The Oatmeal Story'!!! LOL Thanks,   Fran

Jun 28, 2008 01:20 PM #13
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Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Dale: Glad you don't put on airs. Why would you even want to be someone else? Must be lack of self esteem. People need to be pumped up that they are wonderful and ok in their own right. Got to keep writin' to get people to thinkin'. That's my thing.

Fran: Yes, Lenn has intrigued us all with her wisdom. We are going to have to track down that story. Can't have you on strike. I need more daily baseball analogies :)

Jun 28, 2008 01:25 PM #14
Rainmaker
608,070
Teri Eckholm
REMAX Results - White Bear Lake, MN
Acreage & Lakeshore REALTOR Minneapolis St Paul

Gary--Learning to be yourself and love what you have to offer without comparing is one of those great life lessons....best learned as early as possible. Good post as always! :)

Jun 28, 2008 01:50 PM #15
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Charles Buell
Charles Buell Inspections Inc. - Seattle, WA
Seattle Home Inspector

Gary, great message.  When we wish we were someone else we obviously can't "be" them, but what is not so obvious is that we can't be ourselves either.

Jun 28, 2008 03:27 PM #16
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Debe Maxwell
www.AtHomesCharlotte.com | Savvy + Company Real Estate - Charlotte, NC
Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte Neighborhoods

Gary:  I recently had a conversation with a fellow agent whom I think is awesome--he said to me, "I want to be like Mr. Brown (I'll keep the name private!)--no, really, I want to BE Mr. Brown!"  Absolutely astonished, I was interruped by a passerby and our conversation was changed abruptly and I could not let him know that I feel that he is going to be FAR more successful that Mr. Brown.  You see, I KNOW Mr. Brown; Mr. B has very poor communication skills--builders have 'fired' him for not selling their properties in a timely fashion, after having a nightmare cross-sale with him, I KNOW why--he does NOT return phone calls!  He doesn't even communicate with you when you let him know that you have a client that has WRITTEN AN OFFER!  He is simply FAR too busy to respond to anyone!  How he is 'successful' is beyond me!  Honestly, I think that my fellow agent friend has far more capacity to be even more successful because of his excellent communication skills.  In this market, we MUST communicate. 

Anyway, I digress, I have thought about this conversation numerous times this week and now really do need to relay to him the next time that I speak with him that he has more potential than Mr. B and to NEVER feel inferior to ANYONE! 

Debe in Charlotte

Jun 28, 2008 04:16 PM #17
Rainmaker
446,980
Vickie McCartney
Maverick Realty - Owensboro, KY
Broker, Real Estate Agent Owensboro KY

Gary~ I could never understand why people want to be like someone else or are jealous of others, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me. 

You can't be happy in life unless you are comfortable with the skin you are in and happy with yourself FIRST. 

Being true to yourself is important and trying to be like someone else is a waste of energy!

 That baby photo you used is beautiful!  Where did you find it?  Oh!  That is your grandchild, isn't it??????

Jun 28, 2008 05:43 PM #18
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Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

HERE IT GOES

 

Three Monks who took a vow of silence except to only speak in turn once every three years AND to only eat oatmeal. 

After one year, the first Monk said "I love this oatmeal".

After another year, the second Monk said "I hate this oatmeal".

After another year, the third Monk said, "I'm sick of all this bickering about oatmeal".

 

Jun 28, 2008 05:44 PM #19
Rainmaker
95,994
Yvette Smith
LONG & FOSTER - Williamsburg, VA
Realtor In Williamsburg VA, Homes for Sale

GARY, Thank you.  Very valid point & well taken.

Have a great night!

Jun 28, 2008 05:45 PM #20
Ambassador
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Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Teri: It almost is like being totally integrated with yourself, and comfortable in your own skin. It seems to easy, but you look around and many people do not have this part down well. I like your phrase "love what you have to offer." That is what you have to believe strongly.

Charles: The great distraction. By being them, time is not spent on being us. STOP THAT!!

Debe: Go for it. The fact that the Mr. Brown story has stewed inside you for awhile to me means you know it is true. The fellow agent NEEDS your boost, your encouragement that they are better. And then just point out the strength they have of strong communication skills. You will turn a life around and launch a ship. The only thing missing now is for you to light that candle of encouragment.

Vickie: To thine own self be true. Another great point wasting energy being someone else. Who wants to waste energy. That baby was an Internet photo but a cutie for sure.

Lenn: I love the long awaited oatmeal story. Terrific. I love monk jokes. Now Fran can come off strike.

Yvette: You are welcome. Have a great evening as well.

Jun 28, 2008 06:39 PM #21
Rainmaker
531,826
Liz Moras
Harrison Hot Springs, Cultus Lake - Chilliwack, BC
Chilliwack Realtor, Garrison Crossing,Chilliwack, Abbotsford

I remember when I joined Active rain.......just 3 1/2 months ago.......wow seems longer.......that was one of the themes of a post you had.......one of the first ones I ever read ....and it touched me!  The uniqueness of me!  I have to admit i get trapped by comparisons all the ime.........and you're absolutely right - it sucks up more time and energy and motivation than just about anything else.............sometimes its hard to look at yourself objectively.  It seems like you can see everyone else's assets or achievements............and so often when I look at myself I see all the 'underachievement'...hmmm

Jun 28, 2008 09:53 PM #22
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Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Liz: See, you've heard of repeats on TV. Maybe this was a Gary repeat re-spun a different way but the same message. Don't think underachievement. You are judging yourself harshly. Think of you being wonderful. Terrific. Exactly ok where you are RIGHT NOW. Hey, we all are a work in progress. You and I know each other better than  3 1/2 months ago. You have been in the Week In Review. You write some of the best articles on AR, by far!! DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS with a critical eye. You are VERY UNIQUE. Trust me, I know these things. I don't think I know a more detailed person (or Forrest Gump expert) than YOU!!!

Jun 28, 2008 10:03 PM #23
Rainmaker
81,714
Derenda Grubb
CENTURY 21 Mike D. Bono & Co.'s - Lake Charles, LA
GRI, ABR, CRS

Gary,

Great Post.  I think all of us struggle with this to some degree from time to time, if we are truthful.   Occassionally I'll write a post that I am pleased with and then there are the others.  The ones that are most pleasing are the ones that come from the heart, emotions, or an AH HA moment.  Something that I am eager to share with a friend, the members of AR.  Thank you for sharing.

Jun 29, 2008 01:27 AM #24
Rainmaker
531,826
Liz Moras
Harrison Hot Springs, Cultus Lake - Chilliwack, BC
Chilliwack Realtor, Garrison Crossing,Chilliwack, Abbotsford

Gary..........a midnight pep talk for me! Detailed.......hmmm......digging digging...research...........I just did one on Croatian trivia....I'll post tomorrow.....Thankyou.......kind sir..........:-)

Jun 29, 2008 02:02 AM #25
Rainer
33,072
Michael Cather
Rodeo Realty - West Hills, CA
Real Estate Broker DRE#01801786

You must have read Og Mandino's books.  Am I right?  Great post!

Jun 29, 2008 02:05 AM #26
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Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Derenda: When we are most like ourselves and not someone else, I think that sense of us being genuine comes across strongly. Others call it transparency. It does open us up to being vulnerable with all those consequences. But it is the most honest. It is the most powerful statement we give from within. And probably looking back on what you've written, it may be your best stuff.

Liz: I always look forward to what you find. This one should be interesting. Croatia has so much history behind it. I see your mind is spinning in the wee hours of the morning. That is when you do your best work it seems.

Michael: I have read Og Mandino's books in the past. Maybe some of the thoughts and principles from what he wrote have sunk into my subconscious.

Jun 29, 2008 07:47 AM #27
Rainmaker
312,527
Carol Culkin
Reece & Nichols - Leawood, KS
Overland Park

Gary - I agree, it's all about doing your "personal best" - it's a term I have used since my daughter was a distance runner in high schools. Runners learn to compete with the focus on beating their own best record!  

Jun 29, 2008 09:22 PM #28
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Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Carol: That term "personal best" or PR personal record does come from running. We really should be competing against ourselves all the time. That is the most healthy. It's great you instilled that in your daughter.

Jun 29, 2008 09:34 PM #29
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