Friday's Humor - What my Mother taught me...

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside -- I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why!"

My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Be sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times -- don't exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

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Tags:
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Comments 9 New Comment

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Rainmaker
428,514
Anne Hensel
Realtor - Broker - St. Pete Beach, Treasure Island
South Beaches Real Estate Professionals

This is hilarious, my favorite one is the "Logic"

St. pete real estae

October 03, 2008 12:16 PM
Rainmaker
398,649
Richard T. Dolbeare
R(B), ABR, CRS...Hawaii Multi-Island Specialist
Keller Williams Realty

Mothers provide good advice and let's include grandmothers in that too.  In my case, the "clean underwear in case of an accident" stuff came from my grandmother.  She was a nurse so am sure this was especially important to her.

October 03, 2008 12:17 PM
Rainer
77,864
Rebecca Schrader
Competitive Insurance of Dundee

<<<<<APPLAUSE>>>>> Susan, this really "took me back"...and I loved it! Thank you so much for making me laugh, smile, and appreciate my CHILDHOOD!!! THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!!! I needed the ha-ha's...HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND Susan...I'm going to share this is my sister!

October 03, 2008 12:17 PM
Anonymous #4
Anonymous
Anonymous

Hi Susan,

Thank you soooo much for that post. May I borrow it? I would love to point out to my children just how much they actually learned from me hahahaha...

Happy Friday!!

Lori Isaacson

October 03, 2008 12:18 PM
Rainer
39,073
Lori Isaacson
Credit Restoration Consultants

opps forgot to log in...

Lori

October 03, 2008 12:19 PM
Rainer
8,797
Jeff Rogers
retired

That's cool, thanks for sharing.

October 03, 2008 12:21 PM
Rainer
70,887
Susan McQuaide
Keller Williams

Glad you enjoyed it! Lori and everyone else are welcome to use it - share a laugh - we all need one.

October 03, 2008 12:26 PM
Rainmaker
327,863
Dinah Lee Griffey
Managing Broker Windermere Peninsula Properties
Windermere Peninsula Properties

Great post Susan!I like your mother. She sounds like  mine-Dinah

October 03, 2008 12:34 PM
Rainer
49,855
James G. Pycha
(R), REMAX Kauai Broker
James Pycha (R) - REMAX KAUAI

Hi Susan ,  ,  VERY entertaining.  Great Mother.... good stuff . . .   Thanks for your post. Very good information.

Thanks

Jim

October 03, 2008 12:41 PM
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Rainer
70,887

Susan McQuaide

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