Breaking up is hard to do... but it doesn't have to be ugly

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Education & Training with Sell with Soul

Most relationships, whether they be business or personal, end.  Your favorite inspector misses a Big Problem and gets you embroiled into a lawsuit. Your go-to mortgage guy blows a Big Deal for you and doesn't even apologize. Your business partner has a mid-life crisis and vanishes to the Caribbean without warning. Your romantic partner has a mid-life crisis and vanishes to the Caribbean without warning. Your $1M buyer dumps you for his sister-in-law who just got her license yesterday, after you've shuttled him around town for three months.break up

It happens. Relationships come, relationships go. Hopefully you learned something that you can take to the next one. Blah blah blah.

But when a relationship ends, it doesn't have to be nasty. In fact, a wise person might even strive to end his or her relationships with dignity, even on a positive note. After all, you have an investment in this relationship - your time, your money, your energy, your creativity, sometimes even your heart. Why blow that investment by being snippy, vindictive, confrontational or just plain mean? Ever heard the phrase "Don't Burn Bridges?"

I'm amazed how many people would rather burn bridges than find a way to part ways amicably. When I "break up" with someone I have a business relationship with, I really like to find a way to preserve a mutual respect between us, rather than just pissing on each other.  After all, I have time and money invested in the relationship and I hate to see that time and money gone to waste because someone got their feelings hurt. Our business is based on creating mutually beneficial relationships, and he with the most relationships at the end of the game wins!

If a buyer dumps you, be gracious about it. You never know when your replacement will blow it and leave the buyer wishing he'd stayed with you. If you make it easy for him to come crawling back, he just might. If a seller chooses another agent to sell her home, wish her well and offer your assistance if she ever needs you.  If your biggest client replaces you as his property manager, generously offer to assist him during the transition process.

Why? Well, it's just smart business. Never give anyone ammunition to blast your name!

Now, when romantic relationships end, you'll have to ask someone else for advice. I don't have a flippin' clue!

sws

 

 

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Comments 27 New Comment

Rainmaker
427,849
Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn
Author of Sell with Soul
Sell with Soul

Good for you, Jessica. I promise it will feel much better than blasting him. Whenever I get in a pissing match with someone, I always feel skanky! I'd love to see your letter!

Patricia - I agree - and am amazed when people seem to revel in the bridge-burning!

Kim - GREAT story! Oops, was that me being a little... um... pissy?

Paul - Maybe this realization is part of becoming an adult... sigh...

November 13, 2008 02:03 AM
Rainer
47,983
Jessica Bigger
Realtor - California Coast Real Estate
RE/MAX Humboldt Realty

Jennifer - I posted it up on SWS forum this morning - I vented a little too (forwarning you ahead of time).

November 13, 2008 04:05 PM
Rainer
11,481
Jason Fleming
Jason Fleming Agency INC

I couldnt agree more with everything posted above!  It is always best to take the high road and bite your tongue.  Eventually it should come back to payoff over the long run, so I hope at least from my experience!

November 13, 2008 11:40 PM
Rainmaker
1,751,244
Gita Bantwal
REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel
RE/MAX Centre Realtors

Good advice. Nice post.

November 16, 2008 08:37 AM
Rainmaker
326,697
Andrew Monaghan
CRS, GRI, EPro Associate Broker
Your Phoenix Home Source

Its so much better to be graceful, say your piece and move on.

If someone leaves you and badmouths you or your company, it damages your brand and they should be sued and forced to defend what they have said.

January 31, 2009 10:10 AM
Rainmaker
427,849

Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn

Author of Sell with Soul
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