Monday Morning: 5 things to do when you've lost Hope

By
Real Estate Agent with CELLing Realty

Monday Morning- Today is the International Day of the Child as well as World Aids Day. It is also a new day, to a new week, to a new month.  Normally I would have written something for either one of these days, but today I want to share my thoughts and hope with other people that might be having a hard time.  It's hard to believe that in 31 days we will start a New Year, but it is Just around the corner, and so many people need Hope that we can overcome the struggles that so many families are experiencing right now.  But how do you have Hope for tomorrow when you have to struggle with todayInspirational Postage Stamp

 

 

Today I have been thinking of 2 different people that contacted me recently concerned with how they were going to make it.Believe me I know this feeling, and sometimes I really don't know why I'm not in a major depression myself, but I know  that all things must end.  I know that just as today may be uncertain, if we just keep going we will find light at the end of the tunnel. We all need someone to listen when we are at the end of our road-someone to listen and care without judging.  And so many of our virtual friends do that on a daily basis.  Being there for someone else has a way of giving us the hope we ourselves lose sight of at times.

 

Many People are having a tough time right now, and some Industries seem to have been hit harder than others. Have you ever tried to hear someone talk when the kids were yelling, or the TV was too loud, or even when you were just lost in thought? Well, trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel is just as hard to see if we are consumed with the everyday stress of trying to survive. How can anyone hear or think when they're in the middle of a crisis. Creditors calling, lenders demanding payment, and kids that have needs we don't know how to meet; we can't hear or see around the next corner, or see the light at the end. But it's there.  Start each day with an Action Plan-small obtainable goals.  We can't change the economy, but we can change our behaviors which in turn changes our mentality.

5 things you can do to help you make it to that next curve.

1. Start every day as a new one with an Action Plan-let go of yesterday and any problems it had.  Focus on today, and tell yourself that today you will do something good for yourself, and today you will do at least one thing that will help you solve something that has overwhelmed you.

2.  Divide the day into parts and make small goals that you will accomplish-ex: this morning you will be showered and ready to show property by 9am.  Whether you show property or not isn't the point, the point is you are prepared.  The Mental Preparedness is what is difficult when we're depressed,and if you only have 2 or 3 things that you will do in the morning, and 2 or 3 in the afternoon you have made it through another day.  I would pick at least 1 major thing to do in the morning, and get it out of the way.

3.  Give yourself permission to be emotional-be angry, bitch if you need to or cry if you feel like it.  We all have times when we feel overwhelmed, and our emotions might take over.  That's OK you're not alone.  It may feel like it, but you're not.  I call it the "Pity Pot" and everyone  is allowed to sit on it for no more than 24 hours....because we have to share.  You can feel as sorry for yourself as you want, but then it's someone else's turn.

4. Realize that there is a big difference between being Broke and being Poor.  One is more about finances and one is more mentality.  You can be broke without allowing the lack of money to dictate how you think of your life.  Sure you might have to modify some things, but if you are broke it just takes one paycheck to add some hope.

5. Communicate-Talk with creditors and try to arrange something.  Try to figure out your priorities for the Holidays, and then see how you can best meet them. Lists of important things can help you stay focused. Look for Alternatives......if it doesn't work one way, try another.  Whatever you do just don't isolate!  Communicate with someone.

 

And always remember that there are Alternatives, we might not like them, but they're there.  It is when we don't know what to do anymore that we lose sight of what's ahead.  But we can make it, one way or another we will make it through the tough times :) :)

 

 

By: Kathy McGraw- CELLing Realty in Riverside County

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Rainmaker
291,990
Kathy McGraw
CELLing Realty - White Water, CA
Riverside County CA Real Estate

Lauren- A Support System of any kind helps, but it has to be a support system.  People that tell others that if they just tried harder, worked more, or whatever is not a support system.  That just keeps someone from sharing if they feel belittled or judged.  Support in the form of Active Listening, and/or maybe just letting the other person vent can be helpful.  Thank you for sharing that :)

Gail- Thanks for the offer....I really am at peace with it now.  I only pull my hair out once a week instead of every day LOL :)  Seriously I thank you, and in my case I am ready for the next curve whatever that might be.  As I said I know things will get better, they might get worse first, but that just makes the climb back up even sweeter.

Regina- Yes, Hope, Action Plans, and Acceptance.  We have to know when to accept something, and when not to.  There are many ways to cut costs, and I know many creditors that will work with you.  People have to be willing to give up the credit cards, and think cash, and look for every option to make a dollar.  Lifestyles will change for many, but it's not the end of the world.  And the way all of can help each other is to accept, and not judge :)

Erica- If I kept smiling I think I would have such a loud scream building up, because I know many times I wanted to cry.  Sometimes I did, and do, but just for a short time as it doesn't do anything to earn a dollar :)  You are right in the sense that we will get through it.  Attitude, and Tenacity go a long way also.

Dec 02, 2008 02:22 PM #56
Ambassador
1,550,649
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Kathy, I cannot emphasize how important your last point is in talking. Communicating with everyone who will listen allows you to air out what is inside and also formulate solutions. Thank you for putting this very emotional topic on the table. Like Gail in her comments, I care about you too Kathy.

Dec 02, 2008 03:01 PM #57
Rainmaker
291,990
Kathy McGraw
CELLing Realty - White Water, CA
Riverside County CA Real Estate

Gary- Well this just goes to show people actually read the comments LOL....this wasn't supposed to be about me, but I thank you none the less :)  It is nice for all of us to know that people care.  I wrote this mainly because a couple people contacted me because of my Profile and said they were at the end of their rope and didn't know what to do anymore.  But as you see it fits many of us in different ways.......that's the power of communicating, being able to touch others in one way or another :)

Dec 02, 2008 03:12 PM #58
Rainmaker
570,044
Bill Gillhespy
16 Sunview Blvd - Fort Myers Beach, FL
Fort Myers Beach Realtor, Fort Myers Beach Agent - Homes & Condos

Hi Kathy,  Quite an excellent post.  Not just for the depressed but for anyone going through life !

Dec 02, 2008 03:14 PM #59
Rainmaker
291,990
Kathy McGraw
CELLing Realty - White Water, CA
Riverside County CA Real Estate

Bill- You mean you didn't read the rules...only depressed people allowed..... LOL :)  Thanks my friend for the laugh....not at you of course, just that comment.....

Dec 02, 2008 03:21 PM #60
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous

Thank you Kathy for your wonderful post.  You gave some excellent suggestions.  It seems to me everyone has been effected in one way or another by the economy or war or housing crisis.  Yet, everyone feels they are all alone.  Suggestion #5 - Communicate (to each other).  We can help each other in so many amazing ways.  A shoulder to cry on... helping each other find solutions... or even making someone laugh does wonders!

Jenny

Dec 02, 2008 03:52 PM #61
Ambassador
896,481
Missy Caulk
Missy Caulk TEAM - Ann Arbor, MI
Realtor - Ann Arbor Real Estate

oh kathy I almost missed this inspiring post. I love the quote there is a difference in being poor and being broke. What a great statement to meditate on. This is a great place to come when you are feeling down. I know I always enjoy the Activerain success stories. In a down market, we don't have to be down, it is a time we can learn from our peers, evaluate our business, drop the fluff and get out of out boxes and try new things.

The market will change and it is important to keep that in the forefront of our minds. It is all cyclical and even living in MI, I am hopeful that the seeds I am planting today will reap a harvest for tomorrow.

Dec 02, 2008 06:11 PM #62
Rainmaker
335,122
Ann Cummings
RE/MAX By The Bay - NH and Maine - Portsmouth, NH
Portsmouth NH Homes - Service With a Smile!

Hi Kathy - YOU are AWESOME!  I read the comments, and I didn't know what you'd gone through.  I still don't, only the words you wrote.  I'm sorry about all that, and I am glad to know you're ready for the 'next curve'.  You are a VERY special person, and I truly hope that one day we get to actually meet in person.

Ann

Dec 02, 2008 09:29 PM #63
Rainmaker
291,990
Kathy McGraw
CELLing Realty - White Water, CA
Riverside County CA Real Estate

Jenny- Reading your comment made me think of that Barbara Streishand song People "people who need people are the luckiest people in the world".  Yes many are suffering in one way or another, and I know of one member here who has 3 sons that went to Iraq, many others who have sons and daughters fighting, people who have had to deal with the loss of a loved one, sick children, job loss, all kinds of things. Active Rain is a micro system of the outside world, and as such we have the good and the bad.  Me, I find the good and put my efforts there :)  I am one of the lucky ones for sure ......

Missy- I'm glad you didn't miss it :)  I believe that those seeds you are planting will be bountiful later for sure.  And it's nice to hear the optimism, because I too believe this.  That doesn't make today easier but who ever said life was easy :)

I know Active Rain has helped many people...I see it every day just as you do :)

Ann- Why of course we're going to meet....either in San Diego next year for the NAR Conference or one day I am coming there to eat lobster and watch the Eagles :)   But if I come there I sure hope to meet Jay and Monika as well, oh and who is cooking that lobster....... LOL :)

Dec 03, 2008 12:11 AM #64
Rainmaker
197,781
Renae Bolton
Marketing 4 Realtors - Garfield Heights, OH
I'm your Professional Real Estate Marketing VA!

Kathy, your first tip is priceless!  Start each day off as a new day wih an ACTION PLAN.  I've often noticed that when we start to feel that we are in a hopeless situation, instead of doing something about it, we sulk and do that "woe is me" thing.  I'm guilty, just like others.  But starting off each day as if it's new means a fresh start!  And starting off each day with an action plan for that day only gives you direction and propels you to action!  Action means doing something!  Doing one small thing may be all you need to start pulling you out of that rut!

Thanks for this, Kathy!

~Renae

Dec 03, 2008 11:51 AM #65
Rainmaker
710,682
Ann Hayden
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Select Properties-St. Louis Missouri - Wildwood, MO
SelectAnn.com

Kathy,

Apparently talking about my situations is only a good thing if I do not mention propane pre-buying.....

Ann

Dec 03, 2008 02:12 PM #66
Rainmaker
291,990
Kathy McGraw
CELLing Realty - White Water, CA
Riverside County CA Real Estate

Renae- I think all of us have been guilty of the "woe is me" at some point or another.  It's how long we allow ourselves this mentality that is key.  That's why I always allow 24 hours max on the "Pity Pot."  I liked how you described Action and  why it's so important ...thank YOU :)

Ann-I don't know whether to laugh or call out the Crisis Counselors :)  But if you are talking about it you are getting it out where it's manageable. That little devil sits on my shoulder sometimes, and I am just very thankful that he isn't the dominant personality LOL :)

Dec 03, 2008 02:57 PM #67
Rainmaker
710,682
Ann Hayden
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Select Properties-St. Louis Missouri - Wildwood, MO
SelectAnn.com

Kathy,

Crisis Counselors?  You mean people who want to listen???

Ann

Dec 03, 2008 03:27 PM #68
Rainmaker
335,122
Ann Cummings
RE/MAX By The Bay - NH and Maine - Portsmouth, NH
Portsmouth NH Homes - Service With a Smile!

Kathy - if you come HERE, you will for sure meet Jay and Monika!  We need someone to cook that lobster for us, and someone to show us where the eagles hang out since I haven't managed to see any here, despite Mr. Jay saying he's surprised I've never seen one.

So c'mon out here!  We'll all 3 be in San Diego, I'm thinking, so we can meet you there, TOO.

Ann

Dec 03, 2008 04:39 PM #69
Rainmaker
291,990
Kathy McGraw
CELLing Realty - White Water, CA
Riverside County CA Real Estate

Ann H- Yep those are the Crisis Counselors...the ones who are trained to listen :) :)  But just in case they aren't available feel free to put your comment on here, and will listen and try to help you get to a solution, and alternative, and action plan :)  Yep, that's what Crisis Counselors do.......

Ann C- I would absolutely love that....so maybe everything will get better before then, if not I will see you all in San Diego.  I think it's too cold for camping there right now :) 

Dec 03, 2008 06:53 PM #70
Rainmaker
230,074
Debbie Summers
Charles Rutenberg Realty - Orlando, Florida - Lake Mary, FL
MoveToLakeMary.com or 407-758-1020

Kathy - Not only is this a great post... The photo is spectacular!

Dec 03, 2008 08:43 PM #71
Rainmaker
188,214
Audrey June-Forshey
RE/MAX Realty Services - Darnestown, MD
GRI, Gaithersburg, MD

Kathy, I am so late to the dance.  I am sorry I missed this feature while I was traveling on Monday.  It is so you.  I just love it.  I can hear your voice so clearly as I read it.  How powerful are the comments here in your thread.  Sheila brought tears to my eyes.  We all have problems, we have to figure out how to deal with them and know that there must be a reason, a lesson to learn or to teach, must be the reason we go through the struggles we go through.

Dec 03, 2008 08:49 PM #72
Rainmaker
710,682
Ann Hayden
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Select Properties-St. Louis Missouri - Wildwood, MO
SelectAnn.com

Kathy,

Thank you for listening and sharing.  You have a wonderful attitude.

Ann

Dec 04, 2008 08:40 PM #73
Rainmaker
291,990
Kathy McGraw
CELLing Realty - White Water, CA
Riverside County CA Real Estate

Debbie- Thanks :)

Audrey- You can't be "late to the dance" as Hope is an eternal Dance :) Your comment was one that I enjoyed, and I too was affected by a few of the other comments.

Ann- Not a problem, and if we need the Crisis Counselors you just let me know....:)

Dec 05, 2008 12:38 AM #74
Rainmaker
710,682
Ann Hayden
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Select Properties-St. Louis Missouri - Wildwood, MO
SelectAnn.com

Kathy,

Thanks for taking the time to care!  You are a very special person.

Ann

Dec 05, 2008 09:13 PM #75
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Kathy McGraw

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